Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Royals and Foodstuffs

So the Royals get to where they can sniff .500 and proceed to get no-hit and shut-down by a rookie. Great. At least they get to face Bartolo Colon. Where are the Tigers when they need them?

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On to bigger and better things...

There are new Combos. Maybe you've seen them. They are interesting to say the least. The first one is a Bacon, Egg & Cheese Combo, and it's a little weird because it has three stages of tastes, starting with the bacon on first bite, the cheese to follow, and the egg in the aftertaste, dawning on you like the sun painting the sky a lovely yellow-orange as it comes up in the morning. The second one is the Cheeseburger Combo, and that one tastes so much like a cheeseburger with lettuce, ketchup, and pickle that you'd think you were actually eating one.

Now I'm not going to crazily insist that they're good for you, but they are a taste explosion. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

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Apparently Doublemint gum is now the official gum of the NBA*. Is it 1988? What the hell? I didn't even know Doublemint gum was still made. That being said, seeing that made me long for the days where there were only five gums: Big Red, Juicy Fruit, Doublemint, Bazooka, and Bubble-Yum. Then it seems like Big League Chew came on the scene--although this owes solely to my memory as an eight year-old child listening to gay music--and shit hit the fan. I kind of think gum should just be a simple thing, and that we don't need individually packaged Super Chiclets that help keep the petroleum industy going with their retarded plastic wrapping systems. Give me a pack of gum Wrigley jerks.

*Check the banner.

3 comments:

qualler said...

It may be a frustrating season for the Twins so far, but I am loving seeing Detroit so far under .500 this deep into the season. I know that teams can turn things around, but they don't have the pitching to spark a big enough turnaround to make themselves matter.

Little Brother said...

I was surprised to see Doublemint on there too. It's crappy gum. It's not sugarless, and it can't keep it's taste. Wrigley's got to get their shit together to keep their charter gums afloat. If I were Polar Ice, I'd be pissed that Doublemint, Juicy Fruit, and Big Red can't hold their weight anymore.

It's befitting though and ironic that the grandparents of modern day chewing gum is being discarded to the side, while the young and hip chews all over convenience stores are in charge of the industry.

If this were Europe of Asia, doublemint and the likes would be well taken care of. It's too bad we disrespect our elders...

KRD said...

1) Aftertaste of egg sounds disgusting.

2) In general I agree that the proliferation of gums has been mostly unnecessary (do you remember sticklets? the really THIN gum?) But I am currently a big fan of that 5 gum (particularly the spearmint). It's almost too intense, but the flavor lasts forever (I've never been able to chew it for as long as it takes to lose its flavor) and it has the sexiest damn packaging I've ever seen. Also, if you open a package of it in the car and leave it there, it doubles as an air freshener. IT IS THAT POWERFUL.

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