Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Things I Can't Stand: Part One

I really hate it when women who have graduated from high school continue to talk about the men in their lives as "boys". They start spouting off about some new "boy" they met at some great house party, only this "boy" hasn't called them back, and then all "boys" are mean. You are an adult yet you continue to refer to love-interests as "boys"? Do you think maybe your relationship problems could stem from your mindset going into the relationship being that of a child? Because it is either that, or you are simply dating children.

Grow the fuck up and then maybe you will start to have adult relationships. Until then, do us a favor and leave your "boy-problems" to yourself.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Thank you Jesus for a bye week.

It's pretty fucking refreshing to have a respite from the Chiefs this season. I plan on doing a ton of cool stuff today. Maybe I'll even eat a salad to completely fly in the face of what I'd normally have eaten at a sports bar.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

So I saw a fair chunk of the Celtics/Cavs preseason game

and I know it was just a preseason game, but I have an inkling they waltz through the East. They are obscenely good. I really hope KG gets that ring this year. Jesus Shuttlesworth getting one wouldn't be an entirely bad thing either. It'd probably be just what the NBA needs to save their league from the prevailing apathy that sets in whenever the Clevelands and San Antonios of the world meet in its top stage.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

This just in...

When you thought the Timberwolves couldn't get any worse, they go and do this. They are now officially dead to me. In fact, I hope they never win another game after making KG toil away while never being able to run the franchise well enough to support him with anyone better than the likes of Szczerbiak, Sprewell, Cassell, and the Kandi Man. May McHale and Taylor rot.

Would everyone please mark down October 24th in the annals of internet history

as the day Old Man Duggan blew up the internet? Thanks.

My apologies, World

I've had this page up for a far longer amount of time than is excusable to not have gone off on my longest standing gripe with the world:

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY "PARKER LEWIS CAN'T LOSE" DVD, SONY???

Get with the program, jackoffs.

If you want, the answer to my question, you can find it here.

I would also like to thank Jupiter

for Joe Posnanski returning to the internet. It's been a couple of weeks now, but he's really the best sportswriter out there, amongst other things, and needs a broader platform than the Kansas City Star can give him.

Everyone must watch "Friday Night Lights"

I just burned through the first season on DVD, and it's simply amazing. It has replaced "The Wire" as the show I tell everyone they must watch. How the entire country doesn't watch this show is beyond me (well, really, it's not since NBC has put it on Friday nights). The acting is fantastic, the story arc is compelling, the sports sequences are great, the Taylor family dynamic conveniently fills the hole left by the exit of Veronica and Keith Mars, the multiple-camera handheld filming really does allow for a more realistic portrayal of small-town life than a situation in which everyone is hitting their marks and standing right where the camera needs them to be, and the writing is top notch. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this show. It will completely envelop you and you'll find yourself watching three more episodes after the one you swore was going to be your last.

I'm going to catch up on this season right now on NBC's website. Everyone needs to watch this show. Your lives will be better for it.

Things that I've seen or heard recently and liked or disliked

"In Rainbows" - I'm not even remotely impartial, but the new Radiohead record is really fucking great. I can't say I was expecting what I got. It seems a little less resigned to minor keys, and they seem to have gotten back to guitar-driven music, which I think they're fucking great at. I've said nothing new to anyone, though, and there has been an over-abundance of Radiohead reviews/reactions, so I'll let this rest.

Gone Baby Gone - Unlike Marjorie Baumgarten at the always reliable Austin Chronicle, I was enthralled by Casey Affleck's turn as Patrick Kenzie. "Nebbishy quality and mumbly speaking voice" aside he really owns this role. More importantly, I was much more than pleased with Ben's direction and adapted screenplay. He establishes the city as a character exceptionally well and lets his actors chew on insanely engrossing monologues and diatribes. Ed Harris outside of the hospital blows a hole a mile wide right through your gut. It's much better than the other Lehane adaptation, Mystic River and, conspiring with his work on The Wire, makes me want to actually check out his work, which Mystic River most definitely did not accomplish.

The Darjeeling Limited - It was a welcome return to a world in which I could imagine myself living in, unlike my least favorite Wes Anderson film, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. I loved that each of the brothers were more or less complete assholes and was shocked by the Schwartzmann finger-lick, which is very much akin to the moment in the classroom in Rushmore where Miss Cross gives her "not if you've ever fucked before" speech to Max. It's certainly not Anderson's best film, which I still believe is Rushmore, but it was certainly good.

"The Shepherd's Dog" - Fucking amazing. There is not a single misstep in Sam Beam's musical evolution as far as I'm concerned.

"Yellow Dog" - The new Greg Brown live record is pretty damn good. It's full of songs that he pulled straight from a notebook. He'd not performed them or recorded them previously. Aside from "Oily Boys" being perhaps a little heavy handed (and with a political song the heavy handedness tends to go over like a lead balloon with me), the songs are great. It's also for a good cause with much (if not all) of the proceeds going to help the Yellow Dog Watershed Preserve in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Michael Clayton - While it certainly looked good, this film is simply a retread of every fucking ethical dilemma lawyer movie we've all seen 15 times before. The actors are all great, but I'm sure no one expects Clooney, Wilkinson, et al., to be anything other than that. Quite frankly, I'm not sure what anyone could have seen in this to make them think this was anything less than run-of-the-mill. Again the acting is great, but I kept waiting for the film to surprise me, and it didn't.

And there will be one more rave to come, not that anyone cares.

World Series musing

Boring.

I'm going to turn it now and watch C-SPAN.

Sexy new managers, putrid offenses

I'm back, all of you--and by "all of you" I mean me--rabid Prick fans.

Not that this is news, but the Royals have a new manager who seemed to be a dark horse candidate for Torre's job. The best news of all is that joining the coaching staff as first base coach is none other than Rusty Kuntz. Awesome.

While everything seems to be coming up daisies in Kauffman, the Chiefs offense continues to lay down tons of manure at Arrowhead. They are damn near impossible to watch.

Their offense being as bad as it is does mean more time for my boy, Dustin Colquitt, who I truly believe is the Chiefs' MVP. Jared Allen would be a very close second, but no single Chief has had as much an impact on every single game as Dustin has. He's a man-god. If only the Chiefs would start working on him to be their third-string quarterback. My dreamworld is one in which Dustin Colquitt comes into the game on third down and teams don't know if they're going to punt or throw. I mean with this offense would it really matter if they punted on third down and saved everyone the pain of having to sit through another swing pass on third-and-long? When Norv Turner gets fired, Solari should volunteer to step back down and help with the offensive line (who clearly could use the help) and allow Norv to run the offense.
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