tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91653861374103795962024-02-20T16:12:22.691-06:00Inconsiderate PrickOld Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.comBlogger1014125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-91892518138258902512019-06-04T12:30:00.000-05:002019-06-04T21:14:53.168-05:00Wordy Old Men on Deadwood: The Movie<i>After more than a dozen years spent anxiously awaiting a thing that it seemed would never come, the final (?) chapter of </i>Deadwood<i> is upon us. This was such an occasion that it felt like Wordy Ginters and I had dust this old thing off to talk about it.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Fuck.<br />
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I mean—fuuuuuuuck.<br />
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We just finished watching the original run of the series this past week—I was rewatching while Jack Attack was seeing it all for the first time. It was a real trip seeing all our best friends and E.B. all grown up. And that fucker George Hearst too.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> The physical effects of time on most of these actors definitely caused some cognitive dissonance. I had the same feeling watching <i>Twin Peaks: The Return</i>. These beloved shows, and these characters, are a delicate thing to be picked up after years in storage. The two series (<i>Deadwood</i> and <i>Twin Peaks</i>) are too disparate for any meaningful comparison, other than their shared greatness, but it’s interesting to me how the passing of time itself, evident in the faces and bodies of the characters, ends up being a physical representation of some of the themes explored.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Indeed. It's kind of funny that they had to make some of them up to look even older because they hadn't aged as much as their characters should have. Still, Dayton Callie, Ian McShane, W. Earl Brown, even a suddenly almost distinguished looking Sean Bridgers all seem to have worn the weight of their characters' theoretical interseries/movie lives.<br />
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Not gonna lie, there’s so much to fucking unpack here. It’s daunting. May as well start at the top with the changes to Deadwood being shown in the form of the railroad carrying telephone poles and that “murdering, conniving, thieving cocksucker" Hearst, invading our wild-ass mining hamlet. Verizon and the Chicago and North Western Railroad doing their damnedest to gentrify what should surely have remained raw and untamed. Can you hear me now? Go fuck yerself, Change. Coming out of the darkness and emerging into the world strapped to the front of a train. I guess you’re gonna make us embrace change whether we want to or not, Mr. Milch.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I’m thrilled that Milch was able to get the movie done. But after three seasons and 36 hours of <i>Deadwood</i>, it’s almost impossible to advance the cause in a satisfying way in 110 minutes.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>It was weird seeing them refer to Jane as “Calamity Jane” for what I believe is the first time. Guessing the moniker was affixed to her after departing Deadwood sans Wild Bill. While she did grate on the nerves from time to time, there was something sweet about kicking shit off again with her slurring to herself, farting on muleback whilst lamenting loves lost, hoping to get the one she can back.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I thought it was the perfect open. Calamity Jane. Drunk. Hanging the <i>Deadwood</i>-ese tapestry of swears over the valley. The half-crocked and mindless toss of the empty bottle brought to mind Tootie chucking a hunk of ice into the back of the ice wagon in your favorite movie, <i>Meet Me in St Louis.</i> Oh Mr. NEEEEEELEEEY.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Fuck that dumb movie. What kind of piece of shit culminates in marveling at a city in the throes of wishing it was Chicago while hosting a disaster of a World's Fair/Olympics. That dumb damn family was probably responsible for <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4AhABManTw" target="_blank">the historically disastrous Olympic Marathon</a>, but Vincente Minnelli had them whitewash it all.<br />
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<b>WG: </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">We part ways on this one OMD. I'm unapologetically on board with that flick. I do admire the intensity of your ire. </span><br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Jumping to the Gem, glad to see there’s not been much turnover in terms of most of the staff. Obviously ten years in the life of a prostitute in the late 19th Century has to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 years now, so the women of the Gem from the series have surely gone to greener pastures, but Al Swearengen, Dan Dority, Johnny Burns, and Jewel are still holding things together—the glue the holds the whole damn place together, I suppose.<br />
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<b>WG: </b> The “brotherhood” amongst those villainous bastards was some of what makes this show so damn great. The monsters, they have heart. They bleed. They love each other. I hope they have some younger muscle on staff that they’ve been mentoring though. Should any events that require cardio present themselves, I’m not sure Dan and Johnny can be counted on for more than a round or two. By this point, they’ve got “guys” they send into the fray on their behalf. Right?<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>I mean for their sake, I hope so. But given the fact that Johnny and Dan are out in the thoroughfare, having Bullock's back, firearms at the ready, Johnny getting shot in the shoulder in support of the cause, I'm not so sure they've got young studs in the stable.<br />
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<b>WG: </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I suppose the natural progression of old-timey muscle is to transition from hand-to-hand combat and knife work to the relatively less physically taxing gun-play. I still think Swearengen, being the mustachioed Machiavellian that he is, has to have some young beef at the ready should Dan need to tag-in someone else for a breather. We speak later of the Swearengen/Trixie relationship. The bond between Dan and Al also goes down as one of the all-time great pairings. </span><br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Seeing Al so haggard and jaundiced—a man whose previously indefatigable lifeforce propelled virtually everything in pre-territorial <i>Deadwood</i>—was jarring. As he seemed so much to be the mouthpiece for the show’s ailing creator, Al’s evident mortality and failure to recall the day of the week is poetic, sure, but fuck me, does it ever shake you to the core. A life lived hard. A liver done gone.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> One thing rewatching <i>Deadwood</i> drives home is exactly how much Milch has probably written himself into Swearengen. I don’t think it was a particularly big secret, but I didn’t realize Milch was a gambling addict. Ex-heroin addict too. Alcoholic. Stories came out a couple of years back about how he gambled away hundreds of millions. Mostly at the track. In several episodes, characters mouth the addict's lament—let me have my vices. Don’t bother me. I know it’s shameful, but I can’t do it any other way. I found an article from way back in 1994, the cultural conservatives (Rev Donald Wildmon) were shitting themselves over Milch’s <i>NYPD Blue</i> (nudity! swears!). Milch’s response to Wildmon’s concerns was something straight off the pages of a <i>Deadwood</i> script, “I represent the apotheosis of everything for which he has unaffected scorn and great alarm." Swearengen might be my favorite TV character of all-time. Seeing him diminished took a lot of the fun out of the movie for me. However, it was probably fitting closure and a true through-line of his character arc, from satanic to anti-hero to cucked good guy.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>In the it’s-nice-some-things-haven’t-changed department, glad to see Doc Cochran is his old, cantankerous self, serving up his diagnoses with a heavy dose of piss and vinegar, all while having his medical advice roundly ignored.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Brad Dourif one of my favorite actors. <i>Wise Blood</i>. <i>Dune</i>. <i>One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest</i>. Bunch of Lynch films. Speaking of horse racing degenerates, he stars in a movie called <i>Horseplayer</i>. I haven’t seen it in years, but I loved it at the time. Dourif rocks a querulous perm in that one. Weirdly owns it.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Can't wait to track that one down. Need. The. Dourif. Perm.<br />
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Charlie Utter. First, he’s told by those pole cats that he needs to get with the times. Then, Don Swayze and Tony Curran—eventually revealed to be Hearst’s latest batch of henchmen—whose lack of manners rub Utter entirely the wrong way. Milch wastes no time with his hour-forty-five in getting things moving, setting up the incident that shoots the narrative into high gear in the first few scenes.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Was the young lady they were harassing (Caroline?) supposed to be the sister of the prostitute Al whacked at the end Season Three as a fill-in for Trixie?<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>I've yet to find anything definitively linking Jen to Caroline Woolgarden, the newest would-be practitioner of the world's oldest profession. I suspect she's meant to stir those feelings in Johnny while showing that the more things change the more things stay the same.<br />
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<b>WG: </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">In retrospect, the timing and ages probably don't square. I happened to rewatch that particular episode prior to the movie, so the question of "notifying next of kin" was fresh in my mind.</span><br />
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<b>OMD: </b>The familial interplay at the Bullocks’ breakfast table was nice. I’m glad Seth and Martha were able to build a life together for themselves after William’s passing. Almost as pleasant was Hearst being thrown off his game as Bullock planted himself front and center while giving the speech commemorating South Dakota’s statehood. Think his ear was burning?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Bullock dragging Hearst around by his ear is the most gratifying truth to power visual in the history of moving pictures. I’d like to see Bullock just ear drag him around Deadwood all day long, as he goes about his rounds. To the post office. To the goods and sundries store. To the courthouse. To the public telephone. To hot yoga class.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Old Man Hearst lamenting his back pain whilst Bullock busts out his downward dog, ear still firmly in Seth's grasp, would be manna from heaven.<br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-size-adjust: auto;"><b>WG: </b>"Jesus H Christ Hearst, your ear is greasy." Bullock, probably, relatively early in the day. </span><br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Leave it to Trixie, the only character on the show more irascible than Bullock, to not be able to stay in bed while hurtling at breakneck speed toward the delivery of the Baby Star and instead barges out, mid-cigarette, to the balcony to call the now-Junior Senator from the State of California out as a “murdering shitheel” and a bevy of other factually (at least within the construct of the show) accurate and exceptionally foul things. If ever David Milch’s penchant for gutter-mouthed diatribes doubling as poetry were on display, it was being spewn forth from Paula Malcomson’s mouth, raining down on the "bald pate" of Gerald McRaney. Self-preservation is not in Trixie’s being.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Trixie gonna Trixie. Milch’s penchant for showing how melodious the siren call of self-defeating behavior can be. No wonder the wet-mouthed rubes get all lathered up at Trump rallies.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>While glad for the brevity of the exchange between Alma and Seth upon getting her settled at the hotel, Molly Parker and Timothy Olyphant still have that pregnant tension thing going. Bullock’s irritation with Charlie at having suggested the Bullock Star Hotel as Alma’s landing spot for her stay was priceless, as was Utter asking Bullock outfit him with a diaper upon suggesting that Bullock deal with Hearst in Utter’s stead regarding the sale of his land.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It’s like reading Joyce. Or Cormac. It takes a few minutes to get attuned to the dialogue. Procure me an infant's linen.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>I seriously wonder if there was anywhere else in the world where Hearst caught as much shit as he does here in Deadwood. A town refusing to bend the knee. Trixie’s public calling out followed by Al’s more measured undercuttings like “Does brevity exist in your repertoire, sir?” The fucking cocky grin on his face with Hearst’s returned stone-faced glare was a masterful bit of business.<br />
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The most surprising fate of any of the characters from the camp ten years prior has to be Aunt Lou, no? I mean who’d have thunk she’d have stuck around?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Someone has to boss Richardson’s ghost around.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>She better be continuing the antler-handed tributes on the stairs in his memory.<br />
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Utter prodding Jane to put aside the bottle and just go talk to Joanie was a nice moment. One last moment between friends of thirty years, and it’s one where he sets her head straight for maybe the first time we’ve ever seen on the show. Then Utter gets one last moment of giving no fucks about who he might be dealing with, suffering no shit from no one. His complete lack of deference to a man he knows to be a murderous fuck had me cackling. At every turn, Hearst gets virtually none of the respect to which he is accustomed from the denizens of this unruly boom town.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I was hoping someone would throw a milkshake at his entitled ass.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>I'd have been happy to see a Cornishman chuck a pickaxe headward.<br />
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Charlie’s not showing up for dinner set the same sinking feeling off that went down when Ellsworth got taken unawares while conversing with his dog in his tent. Hearst’s M.O. is pretty fucking cowardly, frankly. With the exception of the Captain’s brutal brawl with Dan, his men basically go in and shoot whomever Georgie Boy fingers from behind. Effective? Sure. Honorable? Clearly not. It seems clear that this is exactly how our sitting Shitbird-in-Chief would operate were such actions still viable.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> No accident, right? The Trumpian parallels. The great unwashed hectoring the one percenters. Maybe it’s just the times that color the perception. But yeah, Hearst is a decent precedent and stand-in for our current Shitbird-in-Chief. Fucking Gerald McRaney.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Major Dad. Who'd've thunk it?<br />
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Bullock shooting his gun off in the thoroughfare, Charlie Utter slung lifeless across his horse, putting Hearst on notice in front of the whole fucking town was a baller fucking move. The massive brass balls on Bullock never cease to impress. And his matter-of-fact “No” in response to Al’s asking “You ever think, Bullock, of not going straight at a thing?” was pitch fucking perfect. And setting fire to Hearst’s telephone poles? We get to see the fire brigade in action. Bullock’s just gonna keep yanking Hearst around by the ear, and I’m on board for every moment of it.<br />
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<b>WG: "</b>You ever think . . . of not going straight at a thing?" That was one of my favorite scenes. Pump Swearengen’s contemptuous yet incredulous reactions to the whack-ass or irrational thought processes of those who surround him straight into my veins.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>If I could mainline that, I might never come back.<br />
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I have to say I like E.B.’s pervy upgrades to the hotel. That he can incontrovertibly confirm that Hearst pulled the strings in Utter’s execution leaves me once glad for Farnum’s general odiousness. That he got to call Lead and struggle with technology was just gravy.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Of course E.B. has peep holes in his hotel. His peep holes have peep holes. He’s probably got an old-timey camera man stationed under the floorboards in the lady’s pisser.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Peddling fuzzy Daguerreotypes of water sports clearly became Farnum's metier in the years we missed.<br />
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The gall of Jewel putting out peaches for the auction. How dare she? Perhaps she knew that the town was going to rise up, middle finger defiantly extended, determined to outbid that fucker, ultimately saved by Alma, besting her ex-husband’s murderer this time.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Thank God Jewel was smart enough to know that the Cinnamon stays in the pantry.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>The one time I wish maybe she hadn't exercised the heroic restraint required to <i style="font-weight: bold;">not</i> put out the cinnamon. Perhaps Harry'd have gotten another gut full of pain. Gastric distress is the least that turncoat deserved in the lead-up to the climax.<br />
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“Wu, feed that fuck to the pigs.” The, ehrm, the General really gets the short end of the stick at almost every turn. Such a good dude. Don Swayze—his character’s name is Seacrest, but anyone who knows who he is ain’t calling him anything but Don Swayze—tries to leverage Wu’s grandkid at gunpoint against Bullock. Clearly he didn’t get the memo. Bullock and fucking around are not acquainted with one another. Mengyao ends up wearing some of Don Swayze’s brains on his shirt while Bullock beats the fuck out of Hearst’s other heavy.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> One of the many great things about <i>Deadwood</i> is how most of the characters know all the angles. And when the angles are lined up in opposition, a world weary fait accompli.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>The stand-off in front of Hearst HQ was pretty fucking great. Really getting the full monty from Olyphant here, hanging acting dong with aplomb. Milch sure ratcheted up the tension there.<br />
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“Heavens open up. She expresses contrition.” What a delightful line. Mortality looming large in the first scene back between Al and Trixie. Guessing the Doc gave him liquid cocaine to get him going enough to make the wedding, as I can’t imagine what other elixir of the time might endow him with the energy to support his resolve. Maybe a liquid speedball? Al’s magnanimity in doling out advice and control of the Gem in the event of his imminent passing was a nice touch. The Gem as a dance hall. Hard to imagine, but as long as the peaches are always at the ready, Deadwood will probably approve.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The love story between Al and Trixie is so well done. The relationship and marriage to Sol surely isn’t getting in the way of it. I wish parts of it weren’t made so explicit in the movie. It’s too holy to speak of out loud.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>With the clock running out, both for Al and ultimately Milch, I think any point in secreting away those feelings, leaving them unsaid, sort of loses its utility.<br />
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Gotta be honest, Jane and Joanie’s reconciliation at the livery had me a little choked up. They’re both so broken and beaten down, that their finding happiness with one another—and a seemingly lasting happiness, at that—warms the heart.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> SAME.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>When Bullock cockblocked Hearst’s arrest of Trixie at the reception, cuffing him and telling the Sheriff from Lead to go fuck himself, I was grinning from ear to ear, but Merrick’s getting a pic of Hearst mid-perp-walk with a “Smile, Mr. Hearst” for good measure was too much. I laughed so fucking hard.<br />
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I’ve joked on Twitter and in conversation, but holy hell was I glad to see the thrower of the bottles at Hearst was our old friend Garret Dillahunt, playing his third character in the burg of Deadwood. Bullock standing by until seeing his wife ushering their children away from the scene and realizing he couldn’t just let the mob tear that shithead limb from limb still allowed us a little catharsis. Hewing to history has its limitations, and in this case, we know that Hearst dies in Washington, D.C. two years later.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I’m glad you confirmed that, I thought that was him! Since you reran the series in its glorious entirety, you happen to catch the Nick Offerman cameo? If I recall, he was a card player at one of the tables at Tom Nuttall’s place? Season 1?<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Oh, there's a lot more Offerman than that. He's one of the rogue road agents living the high life at the Gem after they slaughtered Sofia's family on the trail. Full frontal Offerman. That's what he gets for running with Persimmon Phil, I guess.<br />
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Nothing made me more glad than Bullock pulling Hearst into the cell by his ear. Or at least not until Jane got her big moment, taking down Harry Manning, who was in Hearst’s pocket and a second away from killing Bullock, and getting her groove back. After those moments during the series where her impotence in the moment led her spiraling into the oblivion found at the bottom of the bottle, it was fucking beautiful getting to see her step up to the occasion and succeed where she hadn’t been able to previously.<br />
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Hot on the heels of that overwhelming emotional moment, we’re treated to Bullock at Samuel Fields’s bedside, having his old friend Utter’s final moment related to him, the two commiserating over their friend being at peace when he went. Olyphant has two lines in that scene—five whole words—and it’s maybe the best acting he’s ever done. Fuck. Just destroyed me.<br />
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And finally we get a little bedtime duet from Jewel and Al of “Waltzing Matilda” setting off a montage in which snow lightly falls on a town in which the dust is settling after another Hearst power play has nearly torn it asunder, its residents going back to their lives, Bullock finally coming home. Duet having given way to an instrumental version of the Aussie ballad, Trixie sits down at Al’s bedside, his last breaths coming, and damned if he doesn’t go out on the highest note I can recall, cutting off the opening line of the Lord’s Prayer with a “Let him fucking stay there.”<br />
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<b>WG:</b> This is what got me. Having watched some of the older episodes myself, I was again struck dumb by how emotionally poignant <i>Deadwood</i> can be. Think back to Season 1, Jewel in her orthopedic boot, dancing around with Doc. “Tell me I’m as nimble as a forest creature”. The same emotional fuckery got me when Jewel started rubbing Al’s feet and singing "Waltzing Matilda." Again, hard not to imagine Milch thinking about his own mortality. Earlier Al opines that it’s the unseemly process of dying, the “chewing up and spitting out” that he finds distasteful. He just wants to get it over with. Decries the self-pitying aspect of it. I like the dignity involved of knowing the angles and accepting them.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>We’ve all been waiting a long goddamn time for this. It’s hard to imagine how I could have been more pleased with what I just saw, having now watched it twice. I mean obviously, we’d all love for this world to just keep giving us stories with these characters in Milch’s voice forever, but short of that, this was a feat I worried was not going to be achieved. What thoughts have you?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I didn’t enjoy it as much as you did. But I’m such a fan of the series in general, and these characters, I can’t be too disappointed. It’s a shame we didn’t get more from Milch. I like how he examines truth, and dignity and degeneracy, and honor. Sometimes all jumbled up in the same character. There is really no one like him.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> If nothing else, the last 25 minutes or so are some of the best television I can remember seeing. I don't know how much I cried, but it was a lot. Bullock at Samuel Fields's bedside. Jewel and Al singing. Joanie and Jane looking like they're headed for a lovely final act. A seemingly finally soberish Jane stepping up and saving Bullock. Al staying secular to his literal dying breath. Fuck me. So much brilliance in that final act. Hell, I'm still numb to a world without Al Swearengen.<br />
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<b>WG: </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Let's pour one out for Al.</span><br />
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Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-38289836624991214572016-03-07T08:00:00.000-06:002016-03-07T23:08:08.714-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Christmas Special, Series Finale<i>We're finally here. The last singles standing are wedded. Thomas is granted a reprieve.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> We are mercifully let off the hook and no longer need to write about a show that's seen better days. Praise be to Allah.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Forever and ever Amen.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Good ol' Septimus's sincere concern for being seated in the same room as Lady Edith in the Dower House was almost as hilarious as the shocked eyebrow raise after being told how his tips on how to please your husband were going to garner him a full page a month in <i>The Sketch</i>. Spratt's transformation into women's advice columnist du jour has probably been the best and weirdest development in <i>Downton Abbey</i>'s history.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I'd watch a Spratt/Dowager/Denker spin-off, provided it's written by Tim and Eric.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEkNE5i-7Vvxvl4P6rESHl3yfNOoTJ-sCREDKBE1A_GP3keyUaVczy9RfGJjHoF9uuyUvLH1ioAooJ0DdaZJ9GwRT7fUCbJe7hwuUocLXl9x2t2GQpJnbOC8vktNQTgEIYBXcEV2zXVFA/s1600/jeffersons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEkNE5i-7Vvxvl4P6rESHl3yfNOoTJ-sCREDKBE1A_GP3keyUaVczy9RfGJjHoF9uuyUvLH1ioAooJ0DdaZJ9GwRT7fUCbJe7hwuUocLXl9x2t2GQpJnbOC8vktNQTgEIYBXcEV2zXVFA/s400/jeffersons.jpg" width="266" /></a><b>OMD:</b> Molesley's moving on up to the teachers' cottages. One couldn't help but think that a Molesley spin-off a la <i>The Jeffersons</i> is in order. I'd rather watch that than a Robert and Cora prequel that may or may not still happen. Give us more Molesley, Mr. Fellowes.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> What is the scoop? I've seen Fellowes talk about a <i>Downton</i> movie, I didn't know a prequel idea has been floated. Take some liberties Fellowes, screw the prequel, flash that mofo forward to the 1990s. I could see Daisy's great-grand-daughter being a roadie for Bratmobile.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Is the scarf slit in Edith's yellowish dress not the most distracting wardrobe feature in the last three years of <i>Downton</i>? The only other thing that comes to mind is when Tony Gillingham walked around with his dick hanging out and clanging betwixt his thighs for three episodes, but that was probably a choice, not a wardrobe feature.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Hilarious. That jumped off the screen. The wardrobe game on <i>Downton</i> is plus-plus, but viewing that weird scarf-hole was distracting me from thinking about how Edith almost blew her second chance with Bertie by being shitty, instead of grateful, at the big reconciliation dinner.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> With each tremor shooting through Carson's arms, Barrow's future at Downton became more and more certain. "The palsy." If Carson knew this was coming, then what the fuck was he doing seeing Barrow off while Molesley was gearing up to become Mr. Chips?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Obviously, Carson was afraid The Palsy would reflect poorly on the house.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> When Bertie Pelham and Edith are sitting down to dinner for the first time since Mary dropped the Marigold bombshell, Bertie says, "I've done a very bad job" of living without her. Then the waiter drops the champagne and menus at the most inopportune of times, as it seems like the dam is about to burst and Bertie's going to unfurl every last detail of pulchritudinous--yes, dear reader, I'm using this in the spirit of the word by definition--debauchery that would make dear Lady Edith simultaneously irate and randy. The true villain of this show is now this jack-off waiter who ruined what would surely have been the lewdest act committed upon a table at the Ritz in its history--a proper animalistic fuckanalia of a transgressive sort that would make Pier Paolo Pasolini blush, shit himself, and die from shock well before he could ever have been murdered for being a communist and/or a shocking pervert. To think a simple waiter deprived us of such an epic and shocking fuckfest.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe0EOaxkpYXp6WpWYWxtA771dMPb9pebT0B3H6PMapht3WLge01nt4YQus_7bxYq0fpwFArQMq-3LWX5_IxKi_VMF0_MXgDHbplNM9diKpTlOEijxQf9LF-qQTFHmwFVEHrCMh07g2k9A/s1600/salo-or-the-120-days-of-sodom-movie-poster-1975-1020430210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe0EOaxkpYXp6WpWYWxtA771dMPb9pebT0B3H6PMapht3WLge01nt4YQus_7bxYq0fpwFArQMq-3LWX5_IxKi_VMF0_MXgDHbplNM9diKpTlOEijxQf9LF-qQTFHmwFVEHrCMh07g2k9A/s400/salo-or-the-120-days-of-sodom-movie-poster-1975-1020430210.jpg" width="297" /></a><b>WG:</b> Carnal beauty.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Patmore's dressing down of the dumbfuck Daisy complete with you-don't-like-guys-who-like-you mic drop was great. Patmore's secondary "Well, you were never much of a judge in that department" slam when Daisy wistfully thinks back upon the time when she was hard for Thomas was even better. Daisy doesn't deserve such brutal honesty. She should be left to wander the desert with a bottomless canteen of water hung label-less 'round her stupid neck from which she's too dumb to suss out that salvation is mere inches from her whinging, parched maw.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Fellowes should have stuck with Daisy as full-on heel. Cold. Aloof. Irritating. Daft. That she apparently began to warm to Patmore's and Mason's pleading was just another example of the rainbows and unicorns finale.<br />
<br />
Everything came up aces.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> So Jack and I jokingly shoot "been there" back and forth while watching things, typically when it is a breathtaking place that neither of us has ever been to. In the case of Brancaster Castle, we actually have been there. It's Alnwick Castle (pronounced AN-ik) in the town of the same name in Northumberland, just south of Scotland and just north of Newcastle a few miles inland from the northwest coast of England. Its previous claim to fame was that much of the exterior shots of Hogwarts were filmed there.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I admire your globetrotting. Sadly, my travels are hilariously banal by comparison. I went to Council Bluffs in Iowa one time. A hair-metal bar called The Joker. The band I saw was On the Fritz. The Joker couldn't hold a candle to the beautiful Brancaster Castle. Which made Downton look like a hostel. The quality of the story-telling careened downhill over the course of six seasons, but the visuals were always stunning.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Bertie's mom seems like she could double for Ted Cruz's campaign spokesperson. Peter was an amoral hedonist with a thirst for Tangerian prostitutes after whom the position of the Marquess needs a complete moral rebranding. Can I add a spin-off based on Peter, the Tangerian Whorehound, as another show that I'd rather see than <i>The Courtship of Cora Levinson</i>?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Bertie's Mom gives the humorless scolds of the world a bad name. I'm in with that spin-off, provided it's written by Tim and Eric.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Co-sign.<br />
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It's kind of great that Bertie basically told his mom to fuck right off and that Marigolds Two, Three, and Four were going to be springing forth from Edith's loins before the dour Mirada Pelham could count one-two-three.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Bertie was one guy on the show who could be "in-charge" without coming across like a dick. Being decisive without being a prick is a great skill to have. Bertie would destroy employment tests like Molesley destroys cricket balls.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Larry and Amelia Gray, heinous fuckoes of the highest order. Sidenote: you know you might have run afoul of the virtuous path when you need to consult Google as to which is the proper way to spell the plural form of 'fucko.' Amelia's true colors shone through like sick, greenish shit through disintegrating, years-old whitey-tighties. Moreover, Larry's sunken eyes and pallid complexion makes me think that AIDS was spontaneously borne within his shitheel heart and festered in silence for a handful of decades before being loosed upon every last bloody toilet seat of the world.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm just going to sit here and admire that salvo like watching fireworks explode across the sky.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Can I just say thank fucking Christ that Edith gets the happy ending that she so rightfully deserves?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Hell yes. Preach it. It feels good. Warms the thighs.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> To an alarming level. I'm calling my physician forthwith.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvjuECHAX375PbSq2_lXLFv_ZoSurI8en1EIF3it-dWGqPBDxa1sGCYVyT7IbqoXYw1pX3TAhxPLUzMNhiIJh5855j0FceI5J3OgdN_s0673JTR1KuZ3jk5Bk0FFdcvw3n4cCVzC2v3cw/s1600/thomas+and+george.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvjuECHAX375PbSq2_lXLFv_ZoSurI8en1EIF3it-dWGqPBDxa1sGCYVyT7IbqoXYw1pX3TAhxPLUzMNhiIJh5855j0FceI5J3OgdN_s0673JTR1KuZ3jk5Bk0FFdcvw3n4cCVzC2v3cw/s400/thomas+and+george.gif" width="400" /></a>Barrow toiling away for three months in the service desert of tending to Sir Mark Stiles should surely make him glad to return to save the day and hoist Georgie back upon his back.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The new gig was a tad stuffy.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Talbot & Branson Motors more or less sets them up for some <i>Six Pack</i> action, right? Just looking for the right, rag-tag band of orphans.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I think that episode put them at a four pack.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Does Lady Rose proffering American aphorisms that ultimately show a more worldly and knowing view than Robert somehow imply that Julian Fellowes wishes he were American?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Possibly. He's not a straight-up right-wing goon like David Mamet, but he's got some elitist tendencies. On the same hand, he appears damn near enlightened at times. Portraying the glacial movement of women's rights, class consciousness, and even dabbling in race relations is a delicate business, it could have been handled a lot worse.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Especially given how far afoul some of the characters' storylines went and how sadistically he treated the Bateses.<br />
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Daisy futzing with scissors and Lady Mary's hairdryer to win Andy's heart should surely have ended in another fire from which Thomas should have saved people, right? That she made a mistake that anyone past the age of eight wouldn't make is a testament to just how fucking dumb and beyond redemption this character is.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> When she absconded with the 50-lb. hair dryer, I was hoping that she'd get busted with it and summarily dismissed on the spot. What was more startling though, was her Clar Bow hair-do, which my loving wife Eileen dubbed "the chemo wig".<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> That's spot on, Lady Ginters.<br />
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Denker's outing of Spratt backfired as per usual. I hope Spratt's column just turns into savage takedowns of old, foolish ladies' maids. Can we get this as an eBook henceforth, Fellowes? When Spratt gave his triumphal, retributive slap-down, it wasn't hard to imagine a world in which Septimus and the Dowager Countess enjoyed a torrid affair while Denker wept at her deserved misfortune.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> So many merch opportunities by the wayside. You've got to have somebody, maybe Tim and Eric, crank out a few volumes highlighting a "best of" from Spratt's advice columns. I'd buy it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg9vLQSCCPs_DAtMfBFIRo_n6_AzAJ1sPPYJM4dXMp_w6PF__uagYFTkun4LwNnocgpjOxG501dG3uK9BoTTrfkjy4CjVk2iyurSD2kBYx7wPbJQ_3M71SrdtAhviq0ewFpcx2smecSYg/s1600/pod.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg9vLQSCCPs_DAtMfBFIRo_n6_AzAJ1sPPYJM4dXMp_w6PF__uagYFTkun4LwNnocgpjOxG501dG3uK9BoTTrfkjy4CjVk2iyurSD2kBYx7wPbJQ_3M71SrdtAhviq0ewFpcx2smecSYg/s400/pod.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>OMD:</b> Carson's indignation at the prospect of Anna popping out a kid in Lady Mary's bed was a nice final moment of wrongheaded shock borne from a sense of decorum well past withered. Even after he's handed the reins over to Barrow, he must be the agitated old crank cursing the new world that has impinged upon his sense of what is right in the world. Mary's automatic, emotion-free response to Anna's water breaking upon her carpet nearly made me think that we'd suddenly found ourselves watching <i>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</i> and that Mary was a pod person devoid of emotion.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> An oddly stilted reaction. She was too busy quick-calculating the thunder stealing equation to react like a real human lady. Lots of body fluids this season on <i>Downton</i>. It fairly oozed.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Mr. Mason and Mrs. Patmore are gonna get D-O-W-N.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Patmore, without question, will be a sensuous and knowing lover. She's like a volcano just waiting to tilt. Mason, a guy who wears a three-piece suit to slop the hogs, has no idea what he's about to bite-off.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> With Laura Edmunds catching the bouquet, it seems all but certain that Tom Branson's future is sealed and that said future sees him being balls deep in the editor of <i>The Sketch</i>. Fellowes seems to be leaving no single uncoupled in the finale, and this is the most overt of the sexual synchronicity.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Of course they'll hook up. Treacle.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Despite its saccharine aftertaste, I will say that the closing scenes, particularly the staff joining in "Auld Lang Syne" downstairs, got me a bit teary-eyed. That the show's last words were exchanged between the begrudging septuagenarian best friends upon whom the show's bridged goodwill was built was touching. A lesser show would probably have last hovered upon younger romantic leads, but Fellowes sent <i>Downton Abbey</i> off with a tasteful bang. There may not have been bloodshed or righteous comeuppance for those not deserving a happy ending, but at least there was closure.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Cheers to tasteful bangs. Amen.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> As-salamu alaykum. The last song to send the series off with is a dedication from Patmore to Mr. Mason with the lyrics representing what she wants to hear from him.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vldh7oQD-a4" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-55362780627420599432016-02-21T22:39:00.001-06:002016-02-21T22:39:48.993-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode Eight<i>As one suspects in a Downton Abbey season finale or Christmas special, there are scrapes with death and the prospect of nuptials. And Patmore's House of Ill Repute.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Bertie Pelham, Marquess of Hexum. Couldn't happen to a nicer fellow. Stand-up chap, that one. Of course, everything can't happen smoothly when it comes to Edith's happiness, and Marigold and Mary must gum up the works before all is said and done. That said, Edith's blow-up, while lacking the "see you next Tuesday" that seemed to be brewing, felt mic-droppingly cathartic even if it did come from behind a veil of tears.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Boil lanced. Shame is a powerful thing, it was nice to see Edith crawl out from underneath Marigold's horrific shadow. I kid, I kid. I get the scandalous possibilities, especially considering the time, and the family. But it still seemed to carry much more weight than it should have. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Everyone having a good laugh at Mrs. Patmore's temporary misfortune is a nice respite from family drama. One philandering fake doctor getting some extramarital strange at a B&B shouldn't be that odd in 1925. What B&Bs are for if not for stepping out?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Stepping out so un-strange that the incessant knee-slapping howls from virtually the entire cast seemed out of place to me. It ain't that funny you rubes.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Carson's horror at the prospect of the family supping at the very same table that the ignominious Mr. McKitt and Mrs. Dorrit guzzled tea was predictably absurd. That said, it may not have been as ridiculous as the rousing ovation that Robert, Cora, and Rosamund received at shoveling scones into their maws.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2NiyDSKdYa3e4PkktS4P2cUgCSeSP3Ga6t4kzZLvrOxanF_i5RazPgN_qMQk3M9MqjSGZ5HEkkpFFgprWxp4RdAnm3Gl-B06LZAzUQbNc-cvQMdpt3h0tQ9Jkj7zpikOuEMBpuIsxHg/s1600/011315_DowntonAbbey_Toys5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2NiyDSKdYa3e4PkktS4P2cUgCSeSP3Ga6t4kzZLvrOxanF_i5RazPgN_qMQk3M9MqjSGZ5HEkkpFFgprWxp4RdAnm3Gl-B06LZAzUQbNc-cvQMdpt3h0tQ9Jkj7zpikOuEMBpuIsxHg/s400/011315_DowntonAbbey_Toys5.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>WG:</b> PBS is missing a golden merch opportunity, "Patmore's Scones" would fly off the cyber shelves. Speaking of merch, I've been saving up for some <i>Downton Abbey</i> figurines. I'll need something to fill the void after next week. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Speaking of Carson, it seemed like Fellowes used him this episode as a vehicle for showing how small a place the pomp and circumstance of this old way of life had in this changing world. His handling of Thomas showed he couldn't read a person right in front of him. His squeamishness at the thought of the family lending Beryl Patmore a helping hand with their presence at tea was, as mentioned, absurd. His not understanding the point of Molesley wanting to teach showed his real limitations though. It seems his fate will likely be that of a senile old coot wandering around the streets of Thirsk in a threadbare suit and a nightcap hunched over but speaking gibberish in a commanding tone tending to a highborn dinner guest dead since the 1880s. It was a nice moment to have Lord Grantham rebuff Carson's stodginess in an act of reciprocal loyalty to Patmore. One of those nice moments in which the help gets one of those tear-jerking little victories. <br />
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<b>WG:</b> It was a solid episode, in large part because Fellowes allowed a partial tear-down of the reverence he's spent years building to honor the culture of the lordly upstairs inhabitants of the castle. Carson seems like the go-to character for underlining the buffoonery and tin-eared tropes of the gilded class. There is justice in seeing Carson painting himself into a smaller and smaller corner. I'm guessing Fellowes sees himself as Lord Grantham, but he's more likely to be Carson. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Speaking of tear-jerking wins, Molesley got a big one. First the second go at teaching where the kids were eating out of his hand, then Daisy and Bates praising him and speaking so kindly of him, punctuated with a round of applause at the dinner table. The only thing left to go well for Molesley would be to get Baxter's hand in marriage. Regardless, it's about fucking time shit went Molesley's way. <br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I got a kick out of Moleseley's first day teaching. My family is packed with teachers. The idea that someone with zero training would get turned loose in a classroom of middle school kids is just cruel. I'm Molesley's biggest fan. His figurine is the one that I'll play with the most. I can see Molesley figurine, Big Jim, and G.I. Joe kicking much ass. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> After that first classroom scene, I was seriously worried that he'd fail as he'd had no classroom experience. Things must have been more expedient back then.<br />
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How many lives could Mary have ruined if she went without a serious shtupping from her handsome mechanic? I'm guessing WWII would have started ten years early. <br />
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<b>WG:</b> It was kind of fun seeing her cut a swath of bile through every scene she wandered through. If Molesley is the character I was rooting for the most, Mary is the one who I wished to see squashed by a random falling anvil, like something from a Road Runner cartoon. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfEo76me8F4cO91XSlWsgiVvJDW6rVchkI3XExooJVD5aUhlv_L5oFWQ7BfYnt_gbsDD1WDkAJVOAXm3qCAItNyTe7d-oew2SiaGpaM_DbyPQeJ2IaQsRgVh-V8jL10fEwhX7wNYGsAR4/s1600/POWERFIST.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfEo76me8F4cO91XSlWsgiVvJDW6rVchkI3XExooJVD5aUhlv_L5oFWQ7BfYnt_gbsDD1WDkAJVOAXm3qCAItNyTe7d-oew2SiaGpaM_DbyPQeJ2IaQsRgVh-V8jL10fEwhX7wNYGsAR4/s400/POWERFIST.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>OMD:</b> Given Fellowes's occasional heavy-handedness, I'm surprised Branson did slap the sense into Mary. His patience and perseverance may make him eligible for sainthood. If <i>Downton Abbey</i> operated under the same set of laws that <i>Caligula</i> did, Branson would be buttering up at episode's end, and Henry would be conceding first entry to Emperor Branson, as none of this would have been possible without him. <br />
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<b>WG:</b> Kind of hard to fathom Branson's tenacity on that one. He's the moral anchor pulling the family from bat-shit tradition to modern realities and common sense, but Mary was such a pain in the ass, I'm surprised he stuck with it. Probably had more to do with his love of cars. He fucking LOVES cars. <br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Mary's revelation at breakfast was without a doubt the shittiest thing she's done in the series's run, at least if you don't credit her asshole's murderous intent happening with her conscience's blessing. Given that, her lack of remorse, and the guilt trip she laid on Robert after Thomas's clothed bath, it made the later tearful acknowledgment that her fear of marrying Henry Talbot sprung from Matthew having widowed her ring hollow. Given the six seasons the audience invested in her, it seems like a little more breathing room was probably necessary if we were to join in the waterworks. Instead, Fellowes loaded that scene so close to Mary deservedly being called a "bitch" either literally or figuratively that the acrid taste of her churlishness was fresh in our mouths. <br />
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<b>WG:</b> Bloodshed. Bitch. Two things I never expected from <i>Downton</i>. An emotional hairpin turn to ask the audience to travel happily along from Mary coldly and gleefully fucking over her sister, to being happy for her marriage in what seemed like a few scant minutes later. Maybe more surprising for me was the Dowager acting as the voice of reason to ultimately set Mary straight. The Dowager was basically feeding Mary the same advice as Tom, but of course, Tom is really just a dolled up mechanic masquerading as a swell. Mary needed to hear that advice from a blue-blood in order for it to have any heft.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The counterpoint to this is Thomas's suicide attempt. Fellowes spent the greater part of this season trying to rebuild Barrow's humanity. Despite having once been seemingly irredeemable, Thomas reaching the end of his rope and later admitting regret to the ways in which he's interacted with the staff in his past cashes in the pity card better than Mary's petulance throughout the episode.
<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Maybe this is the main reason I dislike Fellowes, for making me care about Thomas. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Septimus Motherfucking Spratt. Who'd have thunk that he was Cassandra Jones? I knew instantly when they spoke of "Miss Jones's" secrecy that this advice columnist was a man, but Spratt? If Molesley didn't get such a big win in this episode, that reveal would have been the episode's high point for me. Even with the "where the fuck is Spratt?" tip-off from Violet, I was caught completely off-guard. I'm sure all of his columns are thinly veiled takedowns of Denker. <br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I laughed out loud. It was a beautiful touch. You know everyone at Downton went back to their laptops and scoured through old columns to ferret out thinly veiled references to their own trials and tribs.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> With all the time wasted this season on the completely uninteresting hospital board storyline and the positively awful second episode, it seems like this season could have spaced out the nuptials a bit more judiciously. Instead, Mary gets married four seconds after she destroys any goodwill the audience might have had for her, and the only one at her wedding that anyone is happy for is Mr. Talbot largely because it means we don't have to watch him bang his head into a brick wall any longer. <br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm thinking everything post-Matthew has failed to live up to the promise this series had pre-Matthew. Absolutely they could have focused on some of the relationships more, and shit-canned the silly hospital board kerfuffle. Same goes with the silly police interludes. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> With just the special remaining, it looks like there will be two weddings thrown together haphazardly, with an outside shot at three, if Molesley gets his gal. While wedded bliss seems such a limiting means by which characters can achieve happiness, if these are the rules we're given in this world, may Molesley enjoy it, too. <br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I hope all the characters get married. Thems that are already bonded by holy matrimony should get their vows refreshed. Pair them all up. In for a penny, in for a pound.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RvV3nn_de2k" width="480"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-19416057326227235692016-02-16T17:36:00.003-06:002016-02-16T17:36:53.247-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode Seven<i>The Crawleys have a day at the race track while most of the servants get time off to encourage Molesley and Daisy in their exams.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Judging from the tea-time light sniping between the sisters Crawley, it sure looks like Edith and Mary are headed toward one last sororal kerfuffle to fill Fellowes's quota for the series. While it seems they should be past it all, Mary's continued curiosity surrounding Marigold and her casual jabs regarding Bertie sure portend a row.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Did you catch that look? Serious eye-fucking. I enjoy the pettiness between the two. Nothing says sisterly love like throwing shade.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Mrs. Hughes ascertainment that Thomas might find more happiness in another setting might be more true than he'd care to admit. His disposition clearly defaults to underhanded shitheel, but since O'Brien departed, he has been decidedly less horrible. Most of his conflict with staff comes from a storied history of conniving. Maybe a new setting and a fresh start could actually see him change his spots or more importantly find something resembling happiness, roots notwithstanding. Of course, it probably wouldn't have been easy to find many accepting of a gay man as a butler--under or otherwise--in 1925 England.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwlNeT6kf79lUCEZXZjiq-fkhD-0mfYEvu-9Z0ytwmh-rtLjSJfFW6CbEo1wyHWvkVz3snNc2Rt0niJrnrDvSs1i__Uuk_iydI9rOJn1FGcoFqVu1RmifCQ29CYdm5-fviAFofluuQSY/s1600/carnegie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwlNeT6kf79lUCEZXZjiq-fkhD-0mfYEvu-9Z0ytwmh-rtLjSJfFW6CbEo1wyHWvkVz3snNc2Rt0niJrnrDvSs1i__Uuk_iydI9rOJn1FGcoFqVu1RmifCQ29CYdm5-fviAFofluuQSY/s400/carnegie.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
<b>WG:</b> Thomas is more screwed than any of the characters. Most of them have a new lease on life, or are too old for it to matter much. Thomas is the one who appears destined for heartache and woe. No job. No prospects. Getting the Bates and Anna treatment to an almost comical degree in this episode. He was cold-shouldered and shunned at every turn. Bringing lemonade to a picnic is the basis for the first chapter of Dale Carnegie's <i>How to Win Friends and Influence People</i> for fuck's sake. I was hoping Fellowes would have him step on a rake just to drive the point home.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Much as I suspected Amelia Cruikshank is a serpent befitting her heinous fiance. At least she is calculating enough that Isobel could conceivably be happy with Lord Merton as it suits Miss Cruikshank's needs. Violet accurately surmising "I expect they'll have to drag you out as you break your fingernails catching at the doorcase" was outstanding and painted a delightful picture that would have been right at home in a Roald Dahl story.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Excellent line. Fave Dahl movie adaptation? <i>Fantastic Mr. Fox</i> is too easy, I'll go with <i>James and the Giant Peach</i>.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> While I read a ton of his books as a child, I've only seen the first adaptation of <i>Charlie and the Chocolate Factory</i> and <i>Fantastic Mr. Fox</i>. If we're ruling out <i>Fantastic Mr. Fox</i>, then I've got no other recourse than to go with the other one I've seen.<br />
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A few minutes later of screen time after her meeting with the undesirable Miss Cruikshank, the Dowager Countess opined that a month amongst the French should make her long for home. Strong showing early in an episode that saw her exit so early. Of course, the concern here is that for drama's sake she'll end up washed up on some remote island, sans beach ball, never to return for the sake of the show. Given that the S.S. Paris suffered no major catastrophes in 1925 per its Wikipedia page, we can safely assume that if anything happens of that nature, it will have happened because Violet fell overboard.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It would be a <i>Game of Throne</i>s type gut-punch to cast the Dowager into the void. She was the shits early on, but at this point she's on the beloved TV curmudgeon icon Mt. Rushmore, right up there alongside Fred Sanford, Lou Grant, and Archie Bunker.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The back-and-forth courtship proceedings that Mary puts prospective mates through must be exhausting. Henry Talbot must be the 46th pursuer. Her post-race convo with driver Hank was inevitable because it's the dastardly anused Mary we're talking about, but how many fucking wedding are going to get packed into the special? It seems like Edith couldn't possibly get married by the end of the next episode, and Isobel and Lord Merton aren't anywhere near that point unless they head down to the Justice of the Peace.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> One episode and a Christmas Special left, right? The wedding gambit is such a tired and stale move for a TV series. Leaves me cold. At this point, with the head fakes and dilly-dallying, it's hard to see how any of them get to the altar unless Fellowes gets out a shoehorn and forces the issue in the last 2 episodes.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The racing scenes were decidedly less exciting than they probably should have been, but I suppose that should have been expected. <i>Downton Abbey</i> isn't exactly going to be breaking new ground in filming car racing scenes, but the score probably acted against any tension that could have existed in those sequences apparently serving the function of "let us delight in the marvels of 1920s technological advances" more than anything else. That said, if ever there was a clear red shirt in the show--or in his case, a red scarf--Rogers was set on a fated course toward dead man's curve from his initial entirely transparent introduction.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Man, those racing scenes were flaccid, weren't they? So British. So NPR. Where was Sacha Baron Cohen's Jean Girard when we needed him most? Once again, Fellowes badly telegraphing his punches. Was there any doubt blood would spill on the famed Brooklands circuit?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> With all of Mary's apprehension leading up to the race? No doubt whatsoever.<br />
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Despite it being the site of the revelation of Andy's illiteracy, the testing-break picnic was a nice scene. It's weird how refreshing it is to see the staff enjoying an afternoon in a meadow out of uniform and just enjoying each other's company. Of course it also serves the purpose of exonerating Thomas of any wrongdoing, as Patmore knows why Carson was amping up the prodding of Thomas to find other work. Carson's stodginess upon Thomas's return to find the couple Carson furtively enjoying a seat in the library still shows his desire to rid the house of him, but at least there was a moment of communal staff respite from their work cave.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy01ixROFuQhW1SFDVangHD3kmoqI4OglZJdSInfBm55PbySuzvKKoAlcEXvLyj-4WeCjBgz-t5C5ZyowddD6H7idZ2OxP1nN4sYk7HHYfGFkcOioAkk50nDY30Xxc82dtu5PdzIQ4F0w/s1600/70d75a31d65242ecc2c0a93b1c28c6a0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy01ixROFuQhW1SFDVangHD3kmoqI4OglZJdSInfBm55PbySuzvKKoAlcEXvLyj-4WeCjBgz-t5C5ZyowddD6H7idZ2OxP1nN4sYk7HHYfGFkcOioAkk50nDY30Xxc82dtu5PdzIQ4F0w/s400/70d75a31d65242ecc2c0a93b1c28c6a0.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>WG:</b> For me, that picnic was an example of the satisfying pay-off you can achieve when good character work is established early on. I think <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> in particular was great at doing this type of thing. Because the characters are sturdy and fleshed out, it's enjoyable just watching them do shit that isn't obviously driving the plot forward. Mundane day-to-day scenes work in service to the story because the characters are established and three dimensional. You want to hang with them because you like them. It's a shame the show didn't develop more in that direction, instead of the tired old bullshit with Mary playing the dating game, and the Bates' various <i>Making a Murderer</i> sideshows.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> While believing Mr. Dawes's statement as to Molesley's test scores being better than some Oxford and Cambridge grads is a tall order, his finally getting a victory was such a relief. The heart of the last couple seasons gets his deserved exit from service. This is something that would be too bad if there weren't just two episodes left, but as the series is eying the finish line, this is fantastic.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fuck yes.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Molesley's position presumably being vacated and Andy aspiring to pig farming means Thomas's job search has probably been for nothing. The underbutler will simply have to do everything that the butler and valet don't do.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> A possible ray of light for Thomas. Why not?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Septimus Spratt: Bringer of Isis, Jr. The look on Robert's face as he ran to embrace that furry little shit machine was that of a five-year-old boy. His eagerness to bring the untrained pup upstairs can be directly tied to the zero shits that he'll have to pick up. The rest of the servants will eye that dog with the disdain that they usually reserve for Thomas.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It reminded me of a three or four episode run a few seasons back when it was pretty evident that Lord Grantham preferred Isis to Edith. Fellowes should have edited in a shot of someone downstairs rolling their eyes, or at least looking peeved at the idea of hauling dog shit and incessantly scrubbing shit stains out of the carpet.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Hopefully the last shot of the show is an old Thomas feebly scrubbing a dilapidated rug with adult George wandering around the manor in an open bathrobe, boxers, and a stained wife beater muttering to himself about that damned rock and roll.<br />
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Patmore's plan for Carson preparing the dinner was fucking high art. It made every second of oblivious assholery he doled out pay off spectacularly. Hughes continuing to pile work onto his plate was gold. Judging by the man hiding in the bushes with a notepad and camera, Patmore's evil genius will see a karmic comeuppance in the next episode, unless Fellowes is tossing us one last misdirect. Maybe her bed and breakfast makes Michelin, and Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon visit it 85 years later.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> That's a crossover I'd love to see. Coogan and Brydon fucking with each other in Patmore's B&B? I'm in. Why isn't Coogan HUGE over here? I think <i>Saxondale</i> is considered a minor work, and it's fucking genius. Jesus Christ, a guy like Seth MacFarlane is relatively huge, and I can't even easily access <i>Alan Partridge</i> stuff. Almost makes me think Trump is on to something.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Nearly all of the Steve Coogan stuff is currently available on Hulu. Everyone should brush up now.<br />
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Two more episodes. Any bold predictions past the presumed triple wedding?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm going to pull a 180 and root for more deaths than weddings.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Same here.<br />
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<iframe width="480" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/S1Cuekbklkg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-4139223710016431122016-02-15T16:16:00.000-06:002016-02-15T16:17:42.340-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode Six<i>This episode may as well just have been titled Much Ado About a Home Tour. Once again, we're a week late, all of which is my OMD's fault. Once again, we come requesting your patience, but with the promise that this week's proper entry should come soon, as it's already being worked on in earnest.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> With Violet's prodding Isobel about her resolve in regards to Lord Merton, it makes me wonder if there will be a wedding in each of the final few episodes. It'd be pretty stunty, but it seems clear both Ladies Mary and Edith will walk down the aisle before the curtain closes on <i>Downton Abbey</i>. Will a third be shoehorned into this cracked glass slipper?<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Since the show has gone from something truly great in Season One to a vehicle for soap opera styled melodrama and will they or won't they games, I'd say it's entirely possible. How about a marriage for grit's sake: Donk and a coffin?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Seems like that could easily happen.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCEeB-p2iAZaTx9ZaTjexfQyzLLEJMkgyVPgJRLe80upt9-nNEQOPYkuHOpmJxW4bluzk_5DBnwfBTR3MPrbT5C-hY4-3dpoGmVtYtnYrFStIsHzCef7lIfzzSvDUwxzx5nNEwrXGsnA8/s1600/Downton-abbey-season-3-ethel-charlie-1-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCEeB-p2iAZaTx9ZaTjexfQyzLLEJMkgyVPgJRLe80upt9-nNEQOPYkuHOpmJxW4bluzk_5DBnwfBTR3MPrbT5C-hY4-3dpoGmVtYtnYrFStIsHzCef7lIfzzSvDUwxzx5nNEwrXGsnA8/s400/Downton-abbey-season-3-ethel-charlie-1-.jpg" width="400" /></a>Daisy's jealousy over everyone else paying Mr. Mason attention is so irritating. My initial instinct was to say it's the most irksome storyline that the show has entertained, but then I remembered Denker. And Edna. And Ethel. And Miss Bunting. And that Daisy has had plenty of other irritating as fuck character arcs. And this all makes no mention of the myriad occasions in which Julian Fellowes threw a tree branch in the front bike tire of Bates and Anna's lives because apparently that is the only place from whence drama can originate on this show. At least with Thomas and O'Brien, their transgressions were so odious as to draw the viewer's ire. This petty storyline and many others swirling around in the aforementioned characters' histories do little more than give the viewer indigestion.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Spot on with the plot goofiness. As you astutely point out, the venom for O'Brien and Thomas was organic, it felt natural to the story and the way the characters had been developed. The irritating shit Daisy is doing comes out of left field, or ebbs and flows in a way that totally rings false. Her behavior doesn't really operate in service to the way her character has been portrayed.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> The look of abject shock and overwhelming horror at Lord Grantham's suggestion in jest that they'd have to show Lady Mary in the bath for the visitors to get their money's worth was brilliant. That single moment made this entire episode worth watching.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> That was an odd moment. I'd like Grantham more if he had a stronger habit towards the provocative.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Fucking Carson's continued prodding about the shortcomings he perceives in Hughes's keeping of a house are going to get him smothered to death in his sleep. And I'd posit that Hughes would best justified. Patmore's line about how Hughes "always knew he was old to be trained as a husband" sums it all up quite succinctly.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm not sure why Fellowes decided to turn Daisy and Carson into such dicks, but he's done a good job of it. At least it feels organic for Carson to be an oblivious douche when it comes to domesticity. I suspect it will give Hughes a chance to let him redeem himself after some gentle yet firm reproach.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> Bates's insistence that the bill from Dr. Ryder--who is clearly Mitch Ryder's father--has to be a set-up for jaw-dropping sticker shock, doesn't it? Ryder's services surely cost as much as an Aston Martin, no?<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>WG:</b> Bates, methinks thou dost PRIDE to much. Why are you living back at Downton Anna and Bates? Because we spent our last pound paying off the doctoring bill. It's probably Mary's fault Anna is having complications with her pregnancy anyway, on account of the gravitational waves emanating from Mary's black-hole anus. Not even light escapes.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> Scientists are hard at work to try to detect a correlation between the two.<br />
<br />
Robert inferring Cora was no spring chicken must land him in the low-stress hand-job doghouse, right?<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>WG:</b> I'm guessing Robert has been on the HJ diet ever since his ulcer exploded. A little <i>Harper's Magazine</i> index style data for you:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Handjobs Robert has experienced since his ulcer exploded: 36 </li>
<li>Handjobs Robert has given himself: 35 </li>
</ul>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifiJ5tw5wC8dXIUyzX9m8_6mGxEN-2-cyn0mXMK_aVJbPio7x2WlqGgpJoZNWIhiKQe-CWRTCHFL486XtHUcUUkZAcADKWQIssRgvsjb-nJbJdijojQ5iWDifMEqt9gFtpwCi5mVOHgow/s1600/58806.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifiJ5tw5wC8dXIUyzX9m8_6mGxEN-2-cyn0mXMK_aVJbPio7x2WlqGgpJoZNWIhiKQe-CWRTCHFL486XtHUcUUkZAcADKWQIssRgvsjb-nJbJdijojQ5iWDifMEqt9gFtpwCi5mVOHgow/s400/58806.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>OMD:</b> Brooklands has to be moving Branson closer and closer to his fate as an Interwar Brewster Baker / Stroker Ace, right? Which course do you think he takes? Does he have George, Marigold, and Sybil in his pit crew with Sybil calling everyone 'Donk,' or does he go toe-to-toe with a Baywatch cast member like David Chokachi or David Charvet?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm all in on the Brewster Baker version. If for no other reason than how impossible it would be to fill the Stroker Ace/Jim Nabors role. I guess that would have to be Molesley.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> I like that Robert and Cora see a future for Edith regardless of her prospects for a well-off mate. Their growth in regards to how they see the daughter they previously saw as an old maid destined to care for them in their old age is one of the most pleasant developments of the show.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm happy for Edith. She's transitioned from pariah to the daughter most in touch with reality.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> The family's alarming lack of knowledge about the house was outstanding. I loved that the villagers got the least informed tour ever. Molesley's attempt to step in tipped off that he clearly knew more about the house than any of its noble inhabitants.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Of course he did. He's a fucking superman. Whether it's on the cricket grounds, the classroom, or a public works project, Molesley is the man with the answers.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> Charles Barry, the architect mentioned, did remodel Highclere Castle from 1842-1850, though his alterations in the Elizabethan style were done to the exterior of the building. The interiors were finished in 1861 by Thomas Allom, who worked with Barry when Barry later rebuilt Westminster Palace. Barry also renovated Trafalgar Square. His mark was left all over England.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Nice.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> Violet's tantrum was in character, I suppose, but it did ring a bit hollow. That probably owes to the less than enthralling arc that seems finally to be drawing to a close with the hospital ruling mercifully coming down.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The Dowager is such a fan of decorum, I'm not sure I believe that she'd lose her cool in front of the great unwashed. But thank god this hospital foolishness can be put to bed. Let's full steam ahead to the multi-wedding.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> Miss Cruikshank cannot be on the level, can she? She must be planning to cook a stew with Lord Merton and Lady Isobel as the primary ingredients. If she is to marry that shitheel Larry Grey, she has to be a vile as he is.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Cruikshank = British for "crooked as a corkscrew."<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>OMD:</b> I guess a history of sowing seeds of discontent means this tutoring behind closed doors equals bone zone misunderstanding is what he inevitably must reap, but it would be so much more satisfying to see Thomas get his comeuppance for committing an actual transgression worthy of his ouster from the house. Instead, he pulls a Tim Riggins, doesn't proffer another's secret as the information that would set him free, and gives himself up to a power outside his control. Is this really the end of Thomas at Downton?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I doubt that Thomas is gone just quite yet. They've been threatening to can his ass for so long that it would seem soft to ditch him for being too proud and too stubborn. Come on Thomas, after all the shit you've pulled, you can't really have your feelings hurt because everyone thinks you are trying to bone Andy? On the other hand, it illustrates how you've got to be a well-adjusted motherfucker to be gay in this world.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tjF57zEbxpI" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-86257456792963021622016-02-07T20:26:00.000-06:002016-02-07T20:42:13.321-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode Five<i>Work delayed this entry a full week, but it will be followed quickly with this week's entry. The episode starts with more of the same--Daisy whining about Mr. Mason (despite a favorable resolution to his situation), forboding about Donk's demise, and hospital politic tedium--but at least there's the promise of Minister of Health and future Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain coming for a visit.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Dinner at Casa de Carson went well. Undercooked lamb and bubble and squeak--which is a shallow fried dish of leftovers from a roast consisting primarily of potatoes and cabbage that can also have carrots, peas, Brussels sprouts, and other leftover vegetables tossed in--somehow doesn't seem like a dish the stodgy and particular Mr. Carson would like too much. The tamped down tension and resentment from Elsie's side of the table was a delight. Something tells me a tumble twixt the sheets is not in Carson's immediate future.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPOz99bHHwUSLLVomZ2uNx6ovKqtqNbNSyuw7U3gKDLeUKv6eXwBaw7X2RxTlOwbQ8t6WKldp1Rh8z4ZlWGVTI499-Yq2mUxKXuewKP36eN4J1wMCjbpvyQATJb4E8nOMG6A2kX8CP6ac/s1600/cliff-and-claire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPOz99bHHwUSLLVomZ2uNx6ovKqtqNbNSyuw7U3gKDLeUKv6eXwBaw7X2RxTlOwbQ8t6WKldp1Rh8z4ZlWGVTI499-Yq2mUxKXuewKP36eN4J1wMCjbpvyQATJb4E8nOMG6A2kX8CP6ac/s400/cliff-and-claire.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pre-Mickey slipping</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Poor Carson. Looks like he'll be learning the hard way. From the altar to sleeping on the couch in record time. Oddly, I was a fan of his boorish stodginess. It rings true. To see Carson and Hughes glide into a Cliff and Clair Huxtable simpatico vibe would be discordant. You know Carson has to be a throbbing pain in the ass to deal with. Hughes, as per usual, is a goddamn saint.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> There seems to be a lot of build-up with Patmore feeling at least a little envious of Mrs. Hughes becoming Mrs. Hughes-Carson. Something tells me that the continued presence of Sergeant Willis may be Fellowes's attempt to make a love connection for another potential old maid. I'm sure Patmore would go wild for a distinguished gentleman in uniform.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Like a redheaded moth inexplicably drawn to flaming dogshit. Patmore is one of the few decent characters on the show, and apparently she's never been carnal. She deserves a good old fashioned steamrolling. I think Fellowes can really cover some new ground with the last few episodes, featuring lots and lots of lusty action between 50- and 60-year-olds. How about a sexy montage of Carson and Hughes, Patmore and Sergeant Schultz, Bates and Anna, and maybe a splash of sappho with Isobel and the Dowager all tangled up in a love knot? Underline the scene with "Every 1's A Winner" by Hot Chocolate.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I liked Branson's explanation for how the balanced personalities of Sybil and himself made for a blissful (albeit brief) union. Clearly this is laying the groundwork for Mary to evaluate Talbot with a fresh set of eyes. Let's just hope she doesn't sic her murderous asshole on poor old Hank. It's claimed one and likely two men's lives. Let us all hope the killing has stopped.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> That thirsty asshole isn't done yet. I fear more men will be dispatched into the yawning void via its erotic clench. Branson's ode to relationships was surprisingly solid insight. That guy should shitcan his wrenches and his car fetish and think about setting up shop as a marriage counselor or a therapist.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Why can't Fellowes just let a cancerous devil like Denker shuffle off into Interwar poverty? I was so happy when I thought she was gone. If only it wasn't for Septimus's shitbag nephew dropping by unannounced and on the lam. Would anyone have blamed Clarkson if he produced a scalpel from his bag and cut her to bits? I suspect he'd have gotten a slow-clap from the townsfolk to rival the letter jacket scene in <i>Lucas</i>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSsk4t26p-R26TF5zoTczGpJUOI9qvrWrFKjG_MiMMsEiY4nzbW2CSZ28EAURAJbvHj-KsMglnW8dWT3mGcZk9iam2GRoTgfbJdKIHT5OjZm142MnPBJ6lth8TtO8v4FmfE86-focmMlk/s1600/lucas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSsk4t26p-R26TF5zoTczGpJUOI9qvrWrFKjG_MiMMsEiY4nzbW2CSZ28EAURAJbvHj-KsMglnW8dWT3mGcZk9iam2GRoTgfbJdKIHT5OjZm142MnPBJ6lth8TtO8v4FmfE86-focmMlk/s320/lucas.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b>WG:</b> Corey Haim, where are you now when we need you the most? Septimus Spratt sounds like a Harry Potter character. To cute by half Fellowes.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> "Shall I go back in an ask him to plead not guilty after all?" Molesley bringing the quick quips. What doesn't he bring to the show now? I can't wait to watch the Molesley and Baxter spin-off in which they start a bicycle rental business on Crete to get away from the hustle and bustle of service.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The rebirth of cool for my main man Molesley continues to shock. Just like the anxiousness I feel at the inevitable doom awaiting Anna and Bates, I keep wondering when Fellowes is going to drop the hammer on Molesley. He spent too many episodes and too many scenes making him look like a dope to let him off the hook this gallantly in the final season. He'll spend the next episode with 12 yards of toilet paper trailing off his shoe, and no one will have the guts to tell him except Thomas.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> And in a decidedly derisive way, I'm sure.<br />
<br />
Branson's cutting through the veiled courtship bullshit was hilarious. "Why can't you just say, 'I'd love to spend more time with you. When can we do it?'" Mary's not getting any younger and if the battlefield's worth of down men behind her is any indication, there can't be many eligible bachelors left who've not been felled by her sword.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> "These dumb proles have some good qualities, although they are coarse as hell." Julian Fellowes, apparently.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Speaking of courtship, it sure looks as though Lady Edith will finally find happiness. The Beer Hall Putsch already happened, so Bertie can't be killed there. What horrible fate could befall him to rob Edith of another man?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Death by a hail storm of toads a la <i>Magnolia</i>. Or is it a la mode? Frog a la mode.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> If I had the photoshop skills and this weren't a full week late, I guarandamntee you that this would be highlighted with a picture of frog and ice cream.<br />
<br />
So it appears as though Barrow's redemptive arc this season is in serving as Andy's tutor.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I want Thomas to be the bad guy. Please Fellowes please, keep the black hat firmly on his head. Is there anything more darkly evil than a mediocre tutor?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> The anti-Molesley.<br />
<br />
So the buildup of Robert's failing health paid off big time. Even if this doesn't spell his complete demise, blood spewing volcanically from his mouth across the white linens on the table was quite the dramatic visual. I wonder how much of Donk's stomach they removed? I'm glad Molesley got one light-hearted jab in when Thomas revealed that despite his assumption that he wouldn't care, he was relieved to hear that Robert's surgery seemed a success. "Don't let the other animals find out, or they'll pounce."<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> An impressive bit of bloodshed for <i>Downton</i>. Were you thinking <i>Alien</i> or <i>Hateful Eight</i>?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Oh, <i>Alien </i>for sure.<br />
<br />
I really hope Mary piecing together Marigold's origins doesn't go the way that the score over that last scene indicated it would. I would suspect that her evolution as a person would have softened her feelings toward her last living sibling, but who knows with her? She certainly could backslide into her old ways, though I suspect the music and Mary's expression at episode's end were a misdirect by Fellowes, and he'll use this opportunity to show how Mary's grown.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I think you've got it pegged. Unfortunately. You can't have every character work their way to some nice and tidy resolution. Thomas is humanized. Mary has grown. Edith finds success. That means there has to be some ballast on the other side of the ledger, right? Granthan dies? Anna and Bates get thrown back in the mud? Regardless, I admit I'm a sucker because the blood bath at the end of this episode has me eager to see the next episode. Something I haven't felt for awhile.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Indeed.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/J-GkwIRbLw8" width="480"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-89771462970076264972016-01-27T07:00:00.000-06:002016-01-27T07:00:16.453-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode Four<i>While the Carson's away, the Thomas will play butler. An old maid comes to dinner. Anna and Lady Mary run off in the dark of night to try to save the baby Bates.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Can I just say what a delight it was to have Branson back for a full episode? It is almost as though an amputee suddenly got its leg back and started walking about normally again. Was this a vintage-quality episode? Probably not, but having Allen Leech back on the show cut the second-guessing why I was still devoting energy to this show evaporate into the ether.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> I'm still second guessing. But good to see a chubbier Branson back in the mix regardless of my <i>Downton</i> doubt. The burgeoning race car fixation is fun. You see Josh, he used to be the lowly car guy at Downton way back in the early days when the show was engaging rather than just a habit.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> So it took five minutes for Sergeant Willis to make an appearance. The busiest cop in Yorkshire. The only cop in Yorkshire. This shitbird who screwed Baxter over must possess a silver tongue and a golden rod what with his ability to get women to do his dirty work . As his name was Mr. Coyle, we have to assume that Julian Fellowes is giving a sly nod to Brendan Coyle, don't we? What does this say about our dear Mr. Bates in real life?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3WO4vTl00dPBZYl_5b9mhAzML5ayNh6AJzjyN2JkMFv_OURpRQzx-NEBmkTGgpy3V4FJPkUg-KEvUB3Z11-W0wfJzs2XeVmjFl_r0oZEMmrXKyvsgIGPSc6fSba-yWsReh1DFXSLvQz4/s1600/bates.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3WO4vTl00dPBZYl_5b9mhAzML5ayNh6AJzjyN2JkMFv_OURpRQzx-NEBmkTGgpy3V4FJPkUg-KEvUB3Z11-W0wfJzs2XeVmjFl_r0oZEMmrXKyvsgIGPSc6fSba-yWsReh1DFXSLvQz4/s400/bates.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>WG:</b> You know all you need to know about Brendan Coyle by the way he makes your thighs tingle when he prowls through a scene. The man exudes a powerful sexual magnetism. Fellowes saddled him with a leg brace and then a cane in a futile attempt to dampen Coyle's natural sex powers lest they distract viewers from the finer subtleties of the plot. Now in the final season, Fellowes is throwing a Hail Mary via a thinly veiled name-check. It's like trying to put a spigot on Niagara Falls.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> "'All that's needed for evil men to triumph is that good men do nothing.'" Molesley's roughly quoting Irish philosopher and father of modern conservatism Edmund Burke there. It's funny that Fellowes has one of the middle-aged folks living quaintly in servant's quarters quoting a man whose ideology would want to protect the institution that has largely kept poor Molesley down.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Nice legwork. I've heard that quote many times but always assumed it was a post-WWII response to Hitler, or maybe Don Wakamatsu and Pedro Grifol discussing Ned Yost's proclivity to bat Alcides Escobar in the lead-off spot. More astonishing to me is the continued hot streak that Moseley is rolling on. He hasn't fumbled anything in several episodes. Carson hasn't shamed him for months. He's tutoring Daisy and even acting as Baxter's consigliere in her dealings with the buffoon Sergeant Willis. By season's end, he'll be shirtless on horseback.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> In one of the most unexpected developments ever, Molesley has become the heart of the show at this juncture.<br />
<br />
Seriously fuck Daisy. How badly did you want her to get sacked this episode? I was hoping her head would be on a pike the next morning. A little bit of knowledge in dimwitted hands is a dangerous thing.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> That would have been pleasurable.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Patmore was straight bringing it this episode. "You couldn't be harder on those potatoes if you wanted them to confess to spying." "She knows the mystery of life by now. Which is more than I do." "I wonder if Karl Marx might finish the liver pate?"<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> One of the rare times that Patmore removes her head gear too. Release the ginger Patmore. Release it!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Phone sex may have been foisted upon a minor during the making of this film</td></tr>
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<b>OMD:</b> I have to say I'm looking forward to Branson being the pit crew leader to Henry Talbot. He'll be the Diane Lane to Henry's Kenny Rogers. Maybe love can turn all of them around. Of course, I can't imagine Mary will be jonesing to get in bed with a race car driver after Matthew's run-in with a lorry. Hopefully Tom and Henry's love bug will keep their fuel pumping.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> <i>Downton</i> as Kenny Rogers vanity movie project <i>Six Pack</i>? I love it. Jesus H. Christ I love that song. I love that movie. I love Erin Gray. I'll look forward to seeing Lil' Georgie Crawley working his magic with a wrench and a socket.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Can you imagine how great it will be when Leech's hands are at Matthew Goode's ankles ensuring the quality of his sit-ups?<br />
<br />
How much do you think Thomas's balls shriveled when he saw Branson and Gwen supping with the aristocrats?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Shriveling so severe it made an audible noise. Like when Mario dies in Donkey Kong. Why must Daisy be so damn dumb? Why must Thomas be so damn unlikable? Once upon a time, Fellowes would go out of his way to make Thomas almost sympathetic, or Daisy almost honorable. I assume he's still got those moves in his playbook, but at this point, it seems stale and steamless and all too predictable.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Gwen coming back into the picture was nice. Showing the entire family not knowing who Gwen was made me chuckle at their classist tunnel vision. Her story of Lady Sybil changing her life made me long for the days before preeclampsia (and three-year contracts) robbed us of much of the show's heart. If this reminder makes Mary look beyond herself a bit more, it can't have been a bad thing. Edith lamenting the family's not having spoken to someone who'd been in their employ for so long speaks to her own growth by leaps and bounds. <br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The best scene of the episode. It had some emotional heft.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> With as many times as Robert and Anna were doubled over with abdominal pain, I'm shocked they both made it out of the episode alive. One of them dies this season, right? With lip service being paid this episode to George being heir to Lord Grantham's title and Lady Rosamund joking about Violet being at Robert's funeral not vice versa, his number seems all but punched. Does Ryder's stitch keep Anna with child, or does another key female character die while trying to bring life into the world?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLKdS-OUr5L1jW8fCvUKvY4prOZW3fdeaUgEXnur8rXFjdSGnx_AHp8HNTTtsvxyHDSQ88YkgywlHDx5oQqyVCLKL1izCbtScbLJNY6poukAm9kWXROYbQX2du5hqKbqGSN-tVxE-1a6c/s1600/mast-da-s4-unsung-heroes-isis-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLKdS-OUr5L1jW8fCvUKvY4prOZW3fdeaUgEXnur8rXFjdSGnx_AHp8HNTTtsvxyHDSQ88YkgywlHDx5oQqyVCLKL1izCbtScbLJNY6poukAm9kWXROYbQX2du5hqKbqGSN-tVxE-1a6c/s400/mast-da-s4-unsung-heroes-isis-01.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>WG:</b> I think Anna is doomed, as she has been from Isis's first ass shot. If the show had any guts, they'd all die in some wonderfully boring way.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Dysentery hits the Abbey.<br />
<br />
Robert wondering what time Mary would get to London was hilarious in its complete missing of the point.<br />
<br />
I wonder what sort of train station grab-and-go sandwich Branson ate. I'm sure it was as delightful as Robert suspected.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> A hilariously odd detail. As long as you are putting it in there, why leave the audience hanging on the exact nature of the sandwich? Melted Cheese on Toast? Ox Tongue? Sardine? Egg Salad? I want to know what the sandwich choices were in mid '20s England.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> It would be considerably nicer if Mr. Mason's good fortune didn't owe at all to Daisy. Her dumbfuckery should have been his undoing.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> How about blithely overlooking the misfortune of the poor fucking Drewe family in the equation?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Isobel asking Violet if she had her passport to visit the kitchen was possibly the highlight of the episode.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> It's always jarring to see the swells hanging around the servants quarters. Just as unusual to see Isobel land a crisp jab like that. She usually works in more civil territory than the Dowager.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> There was something a bit sad about Carson taking one last look at the meager accommodations in which he'd lived for somewhere north of four decades. It was sad more for his not having experienced than it was that he'd be leaving that tiny-ass room.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> And sad that he was going to miss it.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I do have to say this was another relatively strong episode that has me hoping that the show ends its run on a high note after a few rough seasons. What your guess on when Robert croaks? Next episode?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Not soon enough. A little death is just the tonic this show needs.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PQO4hvmdGtM" width="480"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-22236275385852608522016-01-18T21:49:00.002-06:002016-01-18T21:49:46.900-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode Three<i>The denizens of the Abbey prepare for the wedding of the century while Lady Edith is away becoming an editor.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> After a particularly dismal second episode to the sixth run of <i>Downton Abbey</i>, at least this one was better.<br />
<br />
<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> This season has been across the map. A strong opener. A dud. Tonight's episode somewhere between. At this point, <i>Downton Abbey</i> is a yappy dinner guest who catches second wind and obliviously sails into an anecdote they have already shared twice. Are you overstaying your welcome? Hahahaha. Don't be silly <i>Downton</i>. I'm riveted. Still, Fellowes can occasionally bring the tingles. In his hammy hands, issues of class have the not so faint whiff of aristocratic dick waving. It was nice to peer through the fog and see the proles win a battle or two, namely Hughes at the helm of her own wedding.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Indeed. He still does succeed when it comes to delivering a small, meaningful moment for a character whose life isn't otherwise filled with meaning.<br />
<br />
I still can't believe Fellowes wants the audience to care about this fight over the control of the hospital. Maybe there's some historical context that I'm completely missing here that makes this more meaningful, but I did cursory searches to see if there was some larger development in the practice of medicine in the UK in the mid-to-late 1920s, and there didn't seem to be. The NHS didn't launch until 1948, so it's not tying into that at all. In other words, it's just another way for Fellowes to show the tired, aged hand of privilege trying to cling to something, only here it seems only so negligibly relevant as to render the whole to-do pointless.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The hospital kerfuffle is a flaccid attempt to wire up some tension for Isobel and the Dowager. They need some reason to trade bon mots. It serves the dual purpose of further emasculating Sir Dick Grey and Doc Clarkson, a trick Fellowes uses as a shield so that he doesn't end up looking like Archie Bunker. I wish they'd all just end up in the sack together already. Regardless, the faux hospital angst can't be as portentous as Lord Grantham's scene stealing indigestion?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> There are at least two moments every season where Robert expresses discomfort and I become certain that he's going to croak in the next episode.<br />
<br />
So fuck it, I don't want to wait for it. At least the Ghost of Branson looming over the first three episodes emerged from the shadows.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdy6zB3zk6yUZLmVCx0HAVUb1TFhEWtZbAjpLwaVXpQoloUQdjX21HXfrJsAb9N0tTCeCLQ2MCrFhZa8IDuZRWo0YHeKTctHJXCQ34K6li46o1-rAaDPxfHHoc9tzk4ty43QwMWtTPr4I/s1600/63489.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdy6zB3zk6yUZLmVCx0HAVUb1TFhEWtZbAjpLwaVXpQoloUQdjX21HXfrJsAb9N0tTCeCLQ2MCrFhZa8IDuZRWo0YHeKTctHJXCQ34K6li46o1-rAaDPxfHHoc9tzk4ty43QwMWtTPr4I/s400/63489.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>WG:</b> That was fast, eh? Do you think he caught wind of the Catholic priest abuse scandal and moved back to England for Sybbie's protection? If <i>Spotlight</i> teaches us anything, it's that nowhere is safe from the pervy hand of the Catholic Church. Welcome back to Downton, Branson, but you can't hide. The sun never sets on the Papal empire.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> If Fellowes is using this pregnancy as yet another way to pull the rug out from under Anna and Bates, I'm going to flip my shit.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Prepare accordingly.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> This Daisy bullshit with the farms has got to stop. Take her out back and put us out of our misery, Fellowes.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Another empty-headed Fellowes prole. No amount of tutoring from Professor Molesley can compensate for that unfortunate breeding. Lack of social grace allows her to cause problems, and she doubles down on the error by wishcasting a solution that may or may not exist. Will the benevolent aristocracy bail her out?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> That the goings-on downstairs at Downton have rendered the ground for story so fallow that we have to suffer through these little exchanges between Denker and Spratt speaks to the depths to which the show has fallen. Holy shit, it's like I'm having to sit through Seasons Two and Three of<i> Game of Thrones</i> all over again. Every moment they're on screen I keep wishing that there was something going on that I cared about at all.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I bristle at all attempts to humanize Denker or Spratt. I prefer viewing them as a physical manifestation of the tradition-laden, shitty, snide, snobbish aspects of the upper class.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> It is becoming abundantly clear that Thomas's skillset is one that will have been learned just a bit too late. These job interviews are not going so well for Mr. Barrow. If he wasn't such a shitheel, I'd feel bad for him.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9x-OP5CqEJLHZtZTBZhczoQ98vxK9dV99C5TeJMcLKiSNlFhJgOGMHSwrzjY9SXeAIwGgwvmewKk6YCVZcCqSN_Or8n6QkUBHAUTA-D5YdBCV42yOVlEujG1wz5HHgFw2_dfxWdr2Q4/s1600/d419e9959a5754684b62981de07348b1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9x-OP5CqEJLHZtZTBZhczoQ98vxK9dV99C5TeJMcLKiSNlFhJgOGMHSwrzjY9SXeAIwGgwvmewKk6YCVZcCqSN_Or8n6QkUBHAUTA-D5YdBCV42yOVlEujG1wz5HHgFw2_dfxWdr2Q4/s400/d419e9959a5754684b62981de07348b1.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>WG:</b> That formerly grand house was jarring. Bear skins and animal heads. I thought <i>Downton</i> was heading into some exciting <i></i> territory. A little Killer Bob action might liven things up.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> If only.<br />
<br />
Thank Jesus Edith fired that toolbag Skinner. I couldn't tell if he was sweating out his liquid lunch or in dire need of air-conditioning. Still, while this development could have happened last episode and made me happy, at least Edith is finally getting to realize her potential outside of the stricter bounds of what's expected of women in polite society circa 1925 to make no mention of the fact that she's clearly got a mate lined up now, though I doubt she knows this quite yet.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> It made me nostalgic for my high school yearbook days. Who knew putting magazine layouts together would make such great TV? Like watching a documentary about Ken Burns making a documentary. <br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Is it just me, or is it insane that Sergeant Willis is the officer dealing with every police inquiry in the show? Is he the only cop in Yorkshire? Wasn't he also dealing with the death of the odious Mr. Green which happened in London? What the hell is his jurisdiction? Is he the only cop in the UK from 1924 on?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The show badly needs a laugh track. Every time Sergeant Schultz/Willis enters a scene, he should look at the camera palms up, shrug his shoulders, cue laugh track.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Has there ever been a scene less in character in the show's run than when Cora flipped on Anna, Patmore, and Hughes? Honestly, I can't remember a single situation in which Cora reacted to anything anywhere close to that angrily and I don't recall when it was ever misdirected like that. It was so uncharacteristic that when she proffered the overcoat as a gift the gesture was lost in the ham-handed manipulation that showed a complete deafness to character.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Right? Everything seems compressed. They aren't creating enough space between some events and reactions to make them seem remotely believable. Anachronistic soundtrack suggestion for the unauthorized dress up with Cora's overcoats: "Fashion" by David Bowie.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> The wedding was nice. I'm sure the wedding night was debauched. I hated seeing that old shit Reverend Travis. Screw that guy.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I had a bet with my wife that Hughes would utter the line "we've waited long enough Carson, get your cock out." I think you can plausibly infer that it happened off screen.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Molesley's lamentation that he'd "missed everything" was probably the saddest moment in the show's recent memory. Why he wants to help that simple fool Daisy is beyond me, but Molesley's quietly the show's hero.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> He's filled the yawning void left by whatever happened to the husk of Bates's character. From class clown to hero. Anachronistic soundtrack suggestion #2: "Heroes" by David Bowie, played over montage of Moseley alternately tamping tar into potholes, dropping tea service, smashing rounders on the cricket pitch, and learning Daisy her comparative history.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GA27aQZCQMk" width="480"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-7510494456942251602016-01-10T22:27:00.001-06:002016-01-10T22:27:59.869-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode Two<i>This week, the denizens of Downton Abbey do little of interest while dealing with wedding plans, hospitals, and bastard children of nobles.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Maybe the passability of the first episode this season did too much to cleanse my palate, but this week's episode really made me question playing out the string with this season. We're too close to the end to hang it up, though. I can say I'm looking forward to this being done, so we can hopefully tackle what we talked about via text earlier this week--a <i>Deadwood</i> rewatch.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The show we wish we were watching</td></tr>
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Contemplating the deep and abiding love between Dan Dority and Al Swearengen, the best small screen power couple since Mary Tyler Moore and Lou Grant, will be a welcome respite.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> How many storylines this episode did you like?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> One. The storyline that involved Carson caking his pants at the thought of uttering the word "no" to Grantham.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I liked Carson and Hughes wedding location back and forth. That might have been it.<br />
<br />
The first words uttered were at the dinner table about cast members who have moved on. Mentioning Tom--one of the last characters worth caring about on this show--so early really draws attention to what elements the series is missing in its sixth time out. It sort of felt like a "we're going to trick you into remembering how you used to like this show so you'll be more forgiving of the dreck that's about to come" moment.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Good point. Reminiscing in a television series is probably a sign that shit has gone south in the writers room. Did you notice that Mary and Anna also tripped the wax nostalgic, callously laughing at the time they carried poor Pamuk's lifeless husk down the stairs? Cause of death? F2FA.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I guess there was also the element of Mary taking ownership of her role as agent of the estate. Full-circle feminist progress, small though it may have been.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> As far as Fellowes is concerned, apparently, you put a few assertive lines of dialogue in Mary's mouth, dress her in Diane Keaton's clothes from <i>Manhattan</i>, and you are practically setting fire to the patriarchy.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I liked Hughes giving Carson a friendly little jab about not being able to say no to Lady Mary. I do tend to think that Carson's desire to have the wedding at someplace that matters to them carries more water than Hughes having it at the schoolhouse because it's not Downton, though I understand her desire not to feel like a servant.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Carson being a man who badly needs jabbing. He's honorable in a devout, straightforward, trying his best sort of stilted way. But Jesus H. Christ he needs to loosen up.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Does Lady Edith not realize that she owns the fucking magazine? Skinner's a shit? Fire his dumb ass. I get that she needs to grow into her role at the magazine, but she's the owner, and there's no reason she would put up with this piece of shit hollering at her and forcing her to make the trek into London only to get yelled at more.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Is it possible she hasn't seen <i>The Devil Loves Prada</i>? The template for how a woman runs a magazine has been established. Alas, Lady Mary is the sister with the undeserved self-confidence.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Anna went from being this quiet but confident badass to someone who's a nervous wreck over everything. In the continuous wringer that Fellowes has put Anna and Bates through, he's basically ruined her. And her belief that despite Bates's assertions to the contrary she must provide him with a child of his own is so irritating. The shittier thing is that the way Fellowes shits on this duo--presumably because they represent the hope of the proletariat--you know that Anna's stitch will go horribly wrong, she won't tell Bates, he won't know why she's sick from infection, and she'll probably die from sepsis. I'm half kidding there, but it wouldn't surprise anyone if that happened, would it?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Drastic misfortune is most certainly on the horizon for Bates and Anna. A stitch in the neck of the womb? Don't even need to come down to the doctor's office, we'll just do it in the comfort of your own room? Nah, nothing could possibly go wrong. Fellowes pissing misery on the proles is spot on. He's like Jim Nantz.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> What about anything that Bates has ever done supports Anna's assertion that Bates is tribal? It's like everything that's happened before this doesn't matter.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I didn't understand that shit at all. Is it related to his exploits in the Second Boer War somehow? Perhaps the gnarly jailhouse tribal tatt he scored in Season 3?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> This hospital nonsense makes me wish I was watching <i>The Force Awakens</i> again, which I didn't even really like that much. Hell, it makes me want to watch <i>The English Patient</i>, which I tried to watch somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 times (no joke) and have never finished.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> My thoughts drifted to <i>Chi-raq</i>. The best political movie I've seen in a long time. Just your standard issue reboot of a Greek drama, complete with rhyming couplets, that takes dead aim on the gun culture in this country, and Chicago in particular. That old threadbare genre. Includes a heaping dose of humor, education, sex, guns, Wesley Snipes for fuck's sake, John Cusack, and Nick Cannon, and the whole glorious mess is bracketed, quite literally, as an emergency notice and a wake-up call.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> The instant the shit with Mrs. Drewe came bubbling back up, it was pretty obvious that the Mr. Mason would be getting their tenancy. Still, having Margie's dumbfuckery taking up screen time was the apex of mindnumbingly melodramatic tedium.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Worst telegraph since Isiah Thomas threw that inbounds pass to Larry Bird in the 1987 NBA Playoffs. Will Mason keep the pigs, or do they exit with Drewes? I've often felt the one thing <i>Downton Abbey</i> lacked was pig related storylines. So, understandably, I was heartened by this week's episode. I hope we see Mason researching boar bloodlines, with Daisy's new found academic prowess at his disposal, spending hour upon hour at a tastefully distressed cottage table pouring over reams of piglet birth weights, weaning weights, loin eye and back fat data, hoping to identify just the right sire. Perhaps he'll purchase a large quantity of semen straws, and they'll get mixed up with Patmore's grocery order. The possibilities are very exciting.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Or maybe the Crawleys will dispose of a slew of corpses with these pigs now being cared for by a trusted friend who owes them. First corpse? Margie.<br />
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Thomas's interview with Mr. Moore was about what you'd expect at this point. Too many responsibilities for one person? Check. Thinly veiled homophobia? Check.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Who does Fellowes despise more, the proles or the gays?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Alternate answer to that question to follow shortly.<br />
<br />
When Lady Mary told Anna that she wanted to help Anna, tell me you didn't immediately assume that she wanted to bone Mr. Bates and be their surrogate. Anna surely would have turned down the offer, but only because she knows that having sex with Mary is as likely a cause of death as simply being a tree on Long Island waiting for Billy Joel to take you out with his car. Also, they shared a hearty laugh at carry the corpse of the buttsexer Mr. Pamuk down the hall to his room. Oh, how we honor the dead!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lady Mary as The Visitor</td></tr>
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<b>WG:</b> The only way to save this season would be to turn this into a British version of <i>Teorema</i> with Lady Mary in the Terrence Stamp role, where she systematically seduces and screws every member of the cast. Final shot: a naked Hugh Bonneville walking a peat bog screaming primal.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'd be much more excited to see that.<br />
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The kidnapping of Marigold was like the exact opposite of <i>Raising Arizona</i>. Not fun, lacking in Cage, incredibly tedious, and lacking in a cute kid who someone would miss. Apologies if I've said this before, but is it just me or does Marigold look like the titular alien in <i>Mac and Me</i>? Also, did Margie summon superhuman stealth and speed to abscond with Edith's hideous baby? She made off with the child in less time than it takes to slap cream cheese on a bagel. I would have given anything for Mr. Drewe to take a hammer to her head at that moment.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> <i>Reversing Arizona</i>. I thought Drewes might take a hammer to his own head. As a parent, there is nothing more irritating than when some relative gloms onto your infant/child and won't give him/her back.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> One last thing before hanging it up for this week: does Fellowes insist that every single character that is going to irritate the audience endlessly be cast a redhead? It's a near certainty that every time you see a new redhead in the cast they will be the most tedious character that you could ever imagine within three episodes. If you didn't have anything against gingers before <i>Downton Abbey</i>, Fellowes is making damn sure you develop a Pavlovian desire to gouge your eyes out every time you see one.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Cue Read Head Walking, by Beat Happening.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LpTlbnUKhS8" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-7400336651954073992016-01-03T21:22:00.000-06:002016-01-03T21:46:51.412-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Six, Episode One<i>As </i>Downton Abbey <i>kicks off its final season, the first episode finds Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes fretting over their approaching nuptials with Mrs. Patmore as their go-between while Lady Mary faces a ghost from her sexual past. The family Bates awaits their fate regarding the untimely but deserved demise of the odious Mr. Green. The fate of the noble class appears to be endangered as a neighboring estate is being sold to a moneyed commoner and its belongings are auctioned. </i><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> It's 1925, and the more things change, the more they stay the same. We open on a fox hunt, and in a sly nod to the past Lady Mary gets all muddied up whilst jumping the brook, no doubt an Interwar euphemism of some sort. Where first it both shrewdly and lewdly portended an escapade of the anal variety with the Kemal Pamuk, the circle is closed with her forays into the arena of premarital sex coming back to potentially bite her in that murderous ass. Of course, now Lady Mary can not only ride her horse astride--the sexual undertones not lost on this dirty mind--but she can vote and perform the job previously reserved for a man. While the riding astride query from Lord Grantham serves as the quick feminism status check for the show, true to form it doesn't take Robert long to move beyond his regressive inclinations and embrace the fact that his daughter is not entirely encumbered on account of her inward-oriented genitalia.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfcYxm64MPKad7FDnXqfj5FIwz9yaD_I2z1TlPqC0NxAgVeLKtaVcaeBeze86eqxby8UMngIGmJtMb9LcULUkp7zS9_8xwDIwDXpOXZ36a8VC450kdTRVzjR7EGw-WzpL9t-fzJhQco38/s1600/mary.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfcYxm64MPKad7FDnXqfj5FIwz9yaD_I2z1TlPqC0NxAgVeLKtaVcaeBeze86eqxby8UMngIGmJtMb9LcULUkp7zS9_8xwDIwDXpOXZ36a8VC450kdTRVzjR7EGw-WzpL9t-fzJhQco38/s400/mary.png" width="400" /></a>Can we presume that George begging to lick the bowl is a harbinger of what's to come for the moneyed nobility? The next generation of gentryfolk will be reduced to begging for uncooked table scraps before mistaking the devious underbutler for a horse. Of course this all occurs while the old proles slave away, still chained to the ten-square-foot patch of tiled floor in the bowels of a building from whence they're allowed to leave only long enough to get them enough vitamin D to ward off the rickets.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> I'm more comfortable with Li'l Georgie's bowl licking foreshadowing a crumbling class structure than I am in reading into what his incessant horsey back riding on Thomas might mean in Fellowes's ghoulish hands.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> There's little chance Thomas isn't implicated in something untoward with those children. It's not like Fellowes hasn't taken a mostly Old World route in making the only gay character in the principle cast the underhanded villain. Fellowes surely sets head to pillow every night and with the last pre-slumber, quasi-subconscious thought slipping through being, "But Thomas is a gay. I can't let him be too human."<br />
<br />
Where Lady Mary's concerns are turned to sex of the premarital variety, Mrs. Hughes's are turned to the marital. So late to get on the horse that she entrusts Mrs. Patmore to serve as her sexual consigliere in a sitdown with Mr. Carson. My first thought was that there may not be a person less suited for such a task amongst the servants, but the pickings are so slim as to have only Anna as a more desirable prenuptial dotter of 'i's and crosser of 't's than Patmore, and she's got her B-story plate full with the still quite dead Mr. Green and the prospect of an uncooperative womb. Clearly the poor dolt Daisy cannot be trusted to handle any situation that doesn't arise within the confines of a kitchen. That leaves Baxter, who is simply too busy planning the next time in which her foot will furtively brush against Molesley's under the table. Patmore it is.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> If Patmore is the right answer, what the fuck is the question?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Who best to fashion a dildo from a gourd?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Both Carson and Hughes are so sexually cloistered, you know regressive kink is on the horizon once they become the least bit comfortable with the missionary position. How many episodes until Hughes is asking Patmore to ask Carson if he wants to wear a diaper and a bonnet and to drink from a bottle? I was glad Carson committed to a full red-blooded marriage and all of the carnal goodness that implies. On the same hand, exploring the sexual tension of two repressed 60-year-olds did strike me as perfect fodder for the PBS crowd.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The tote holders clutch their <i>Mr. Selfridge </i>bags close to their chest, upper lips trembling and dowsed with sweat.<br />
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I, for one, am shocked that Patmore's first conversation with Carson wasn't completely disastrous. Sure, it was as awkward a conversation--what the hell does "Do you expect to share your way of life?" even mean?--but there were so many different ways in which this conversation could have been singly responsible for the fall of the British Empire, that it was a relief to have come out on the other side without shrapnel embedded in every person from Ripon to Thirsk. Patmore downs Carson's proffered port and retreats with no one maimed.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>WG:</b> The idea of Patmore and Carson talking sex was so batshit crazy it made for a strangely tense scene. It wasn't Christoph Waltz turning the crank in a Tarantino movie, but I quivered like a bunny just the same. It was sweet release when the convoluted three-cushion bank shot that Patmore set up finally hit the pocket, and that flicker of understanding dawned across Carson's face.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The sheer prospect of having been indelicate would surely result in soiled drawers for our dear Mr. Carson.<br />
<br />
"I'm completely whacked. Don't tell your mother." Can this mean Robert is unwell, or is this just an existential malaise set upon all of the marginal Lords of the Interwar Period?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I think it means he's just finished masturbating.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Is Rita Bevan the most Fellowesian of all of the wretched rogues who have slithered through the halls of Downton? He barging through the halls with little concern for manners makes me long for a different time. The time I'm wishing for, of course, would have seen Bevan's head on a pike.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Reminded me of a shittier Sarah Bunting. I kind of admired her ballsy contempt for normal boundaries.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVcn3Pu3E6Xa11EBuG9HrA0SqYIjx4xP-OKiN7f8WhMAzrw6xWAyAZfkCMcEFaZhT2ZQ03177Ki94tdqe604eAfbvS8KUXLR-UwAfnXMfEafL78aEdW3YJGwHbMY4-iC7gwRj6ATBMuPU/s1600/I_Saw_Him_Standing_There.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVcn3Pu3E6Xa11EBuG9HrA0SqYIjx4xP-OKiN7f8WhMAzrw6xWAyAZfkCMcEFaZhT2ZQ03177Ki94tdqe604eAfbvS8KUXLR-UwAfnXMfEafL78aEdW3YJGwHbMY4-iC7gwRj6ATBMuPU/s400/I_Saw_Him_Standing_There.jpg" width="398" /></a><b>OMD:</b> That was the single quality of Miss Bevan's that was anything less than loathsome. And Mary still told her that just because the worker bees would have their day, didn't mean that she would.<br />
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With news of the killer of The Rapey Mister Green coming forward, Officer Krupke--er, Sergeant Willis stated that "she saw(r) him standing there," which hilariously repainted Tiffany's gender-reversed Beatles cover "I Saw Him Standing There" in my head. I thought of young Tiffany pushing rapists into oncoming traffic and a smile swept across my face. Of course, that led me down the path to tracking down the song, listening to something that I had remembered rather differently, vomiting, reading the lyrics to find that the link between Willis's description and the Tiffany tune ended at its title, and regretting that the connection was ever made. Then I came back to a time-traveling Tiffany shoving rapists under the wheels of trolleys and lorries across Interwar Britain and reconciled the conflicting emotions with a smile. I will not listen to that song again, though. Never again.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Christ. That sounds like some kind of hellish Lakota vision quest. Or maybe the time Erlich went off to the desert with a bag of mushrooms trying to come up with a better name than Pied Piper on <i>Silicon Valley</i>. What other gender-reversed song covers would you like to see? How about Joanna Newsom covering the Rupert Holmes classic "Him," or more precisely "Her" for our purposes?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Maybe Linda Ronstadt doing Nick Cave's incarnation of "Stagger Lee."<br />
<br />
While I'd be more than happy to see Hughes and Carson marry, a big part of me wants him to only call her Mrs. Hughes while engaging in sexagenarian humping. It'd be a shame for him to lose his grip on tradition while in the throes of passion.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Mrs. Hughes, beg your pardon, I'm going to cum.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Carson and Patmore's second conversation was sweet. While Carson's love for Elsie--start swishing it around in your mouth for taste, Carson--was touching, the real person to feel for here was Patmore, whose closest brush with love was with that boorish milkman (or whatever the fuck he was) who was groping everyone in sight at the fair when Mrs. Patmore's attentions were turned elsewhere. To be closing in on present-day retirement age without being able to say you've loved another while giving your life to the service of a family who knows little about you past your surname and your dead nephew Archie is really quite sad.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I had the same feeling. Patmore recognizing the loneliness inside herself, perhaps highlighted and revealed by Carson's earnest love for Hughes, made for a sweet and sour scene.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2q1JILIWSd1EABsdPZgPRj_CY4UWWluhaX6oEzm4qRfkbgLiJZmN63ZN_IgEIUoyuu9vdj18W0zBj40pLIG8dBy_xmaktk_oek0dzX07m1Ie6Fa_zr1vA-sZpYy9TKkBtDaF0_u9vXlI/s1600/freddy+rumsen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2q1JILIWSd1EABsdPZgPRj_CY4UWWluhaX6oEzm4qRfkbgLiJZmN63ZN_IgEIUoyuu9vdj18W0zBj40pLIG8dBy_xmaktk_oek0dzX07m1Ie6Fa_zr1vA-sZpYy9TKkBtDaF0_u9vXlI/s400/freddy+rumsen.jpg" width="400" /></a><b>OMD:</b> Since it happened, we probably have to talk about Denker's shit-stirring amongst the servant-class at Grantham House and Downton Abbey, but this should not take precedent over the fact that I just learned that Joel Murray long-lost once-identical cousin Mr. Spratt possesses the most excellent first name of all time: Septimus. Septimus Spratt. Holy shit. Judging by his name, he'd be just as likely to be a stodgy, British Transformer hellbent on invading Hogwarts to dispatch of Slytherin House.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The new Defence against the Dark Arts professor is Freddy Rumsen.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> As for Denker, while I expect the show's final scene to be something with Bates and Anna finally finding happiness after more than a dozen years of false hope and interminable misery because Julian Fellowes is a sadist, I'd be just as happy if it was the Dowager Countess hitting Denker over the head with a fucking shovel and gesturing to Spratt--positively beaming with a shit-eating grin--to tend to the mess. Violet turning the table on the conniving Denker was delightful. That Denker is so foul as to make one root for Spratt in every situation speaks to the malodorous air left in her wake in each scene.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Denker and Spratt perfectly represent the dark side of the Dowager's remorselessly privileged soul. Spratt's lips should have their own show. I'd watch 30 minutes of him purring and saying words and phrases like "plum" and "plume" and "droll poltroon."<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> If the Bateses cannot, in fact, conceive, there have to be even odds that one of the Crawley girls' predilection toward sexual impropriety will yield another child, right? If not that, then surely Anna will stumble across a child in a basket floating down the very brook through which Lady Mary's sexual dalliances come to bear in a cyclical fashion. Then after raising the child as their own for years, John and Anna Bates will be charged with kidnapping, and their lives will be torn apart once more by a crime that they didn't commit because Fellowes hates when the proles get even a morsel of happiness.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The celebratory champagne flowed. As soon as the needle dropped on that gramophone (admit it, just like me, you were expecting to hear "Close your Eyes (and Count to Fuck)" by Run the Jewels come blasting out of that tin ear horn), I knew that Bates and Anna would be back in the shit soon enough.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I think everyone assumed it was going to be that.<br />
<br />
Lady Edith seems likely to butt heads with William Randolph Hearst, right? He buys a castle in the UK in 1925. I'm guessing she makes an enemy of him and eventually hires Orson Welles to take him down a peg only to have him blow up his own career and never again have final cut.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> If it means we see Gerald McRaney on <i>Downton</i> this season, I'm all for it.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Playing son to his previous father. Let's hope.<br />
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Robert's handling of the churlish Miss Bevan was nice. Handed her ass to her without dirtying his hands much.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Yosting. I didn't think he had the skills to pull a move like that. And I'm a little skeptical that little bulldog Bevan would be satisfied with a paltry 50 pounds.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> That or jail time? She'd never be able to handle the rigors of the laps 'round the courtyard.<br />
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With the demise of Mallerton Hall and the impending doom about to descend upon the United Kingdom on the whole, the future of Downton Abbey would certainly seem to be less than bright. Can we expect Carson to be wandering the halls in tatters, wits left a decade in the past, muttering to himself about servants long since kicked to the curb to fend for themselves as typists and sock-darners on High Street? The future sure seems like it's writ large across this episode.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fucking Nazis.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PkGwI7nGehA" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-85941960905989222962015-03-01T22:06:00.002-06:002015-03-01T22:57:22.959-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Ten, The Christmas Special<i>Rich people shoot grouse at Hogwarts. A butler is a dick to Branson. Lord Grantham has chest pains. Rose saves the day. One couple calls it a day while another gets serious. Bates tries to take the heat for Anna. The house says goodbye to Branson.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> As Lady Mary stepped through the doors of the ladies' prison to visit Anna, do you think the pondered what would have happened if the world found out about her criminally inclined anus?<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> I believe exactly that pondering accounted for her face, drained of color yet flush with trepidation. That heiny is like an atomic bomb in a suitcase. No wonder she's so damn cocky.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> When Molesley made hilariously anachronistic mention of tea gowns when detailing how the rigors of being a Lady's maid for three Ladies would overwhelm him, I immediately thought of him becoming Mary and Edith's confidant and then jumped to wishing that was the show we were watching. This has increasingly become a problem for me watching this show. My mind wanders more and more as I long for it to be something it's not. This was not a problem in the first two seasons.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It's a shame, isn't it? It would be pretty easy to shift the characters on the show like moving around a Rubik's Cube and come up with more favorable scenarios. Pratt running a Pub. The Dowager and Kuragin on the run like Steve McQueen and Ali MacGraw in <i>The Getaway</i>. Daisy reprising Eddie Redmayne's portrayal of Stevie Hawking in a made for TV 1920's British take on <i>The Theory of Everything</i>.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> All of those would be beautiful. I, for one, am glad Susan MacClare was not invited to Brancaster. I need not look at her puckered mug again.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Screw her.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It is amusing that Mary is the only one that hasn't figured out Marigold's origins, as she's the only one so self-obsessed to have paid the whole situation no attention whatsoever. Is it just me, or would Mary not look upon Edith much more sympathetically if she were to divulge the bastardly origins of Marigold to her? Nevertheless, here we find ourselves in this labyrinth of barely interesting familial intrigue.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I don't know if there is anything Edith can do to wring compassion out of Mary. She is capable of compassion, but you are right, she's too self-absorbed to notice much of what happens with her sister. And, she's still pissed at Edith for dropping a dime about Mary's fatal F2FA murder of Kamal way back in Season One. Season One! Let that shit go Mary. More jarring: Seeing Edith with her golden ringlets unfurled prior to her genuinely feel-good I know what's up chat with Grantham, or seeing Kermit ride a back in <i>The Muppet Movie</i>?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Kermit, because that shit ain't supposed to happen.<br />
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Mr. Stowell makes Carson look downright jolly. What a stodgy piece of shit. You're still The Help, douchebag, serve, and that means Tom.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGlL2iCKQsk_roFe1gWrC-elSDRh_uQ92FFPfG_FgDN7LB0Q2IIIdQXAPD6VdrQ1OOL4OHwng5g4wP9iqXspJCeWiRVAcLBzzv9SGan9w29UEpbye_f49UnXEvNGuPCBPNkgMC9nBxD5s/s1600/36+chambers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGlL2iCKQsk_roFe1gWrC-elSDRh_uQ92FFPfG_FgDN7LB0Q2IIIdQXAPD6VdrQ1OOL4OHwng5g4wP9iqXspJCeWiRVAcLBzzv9SGan9w29UEpbye_f49UnXEvNGuPCBPNkgMC9nBxD5s/s1600/36+chambers.jpg" /></a><b>WG:</b> Downton Abbey Clan ain't nothing to fuck with. It was fun to see Thomas, with the help from those who previously would have preferred to gouge his eyes out with salad forks, completely wreck those fools in Brancaster, from Sinderby all the way down to the comically loutish Stowell. Is there any sweetness sweeter than comeuppance?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Probably not.<br />
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Little sidenote, Brancaster Castle is actually Alnwick Castle, which serves as a primary location for Hogwarts in the <i>Harry Potter</i> series. I thought it looked familiar, and it does for a reason. As Jack and I like to jokingly call out during movies when we've either visited a place--say, Independence Hall in <i>National Treasure</i> or Duart Castle in <i>Entrapment</i>--or obviously not ever been within thousands of miles of the place--Phuket in <i>The Beach</i> or Istanbul doubling as Tehran in <i>Argo</i>--"Been there."<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Awesome. Odd variation on that theme specific to this Christmas Special, Mrs Wordy Ginters kept hollering out "BATES!" during the last 20 minutes of the show, presciently expecting his triumphant return. We debated whether or not he'd reappear in a Santa costume, perhaps drunk and disorderly style like Dan Aykroyd in <i>Trading Places</i>, or just springing from the shadows with standard issue black stocking cap, black turtleneck, <i>Hogan's Heroes</i> type gear. I was secretly relieved he showed up as regular old Bates.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Any mode of return was possible given Fellowes's recent history.<br />
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The firing back and forth of pot shots and minor acts of sabotage between Denker and Spratt couldn't go away fast enough. Both share a fundamental lack of redeeming or humanizing traits, but Fellowes chose to spend unreasonably large segments of this season's run focusing on one, the other, or both, leading me to wonder if he holds his audience in contempt.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Would it be too simplistic to suggest Fellowes finds petty squabbles and disputes a defining feature of the lower classes? They're dumb and mean like ill-tempered livestock.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It's certainly possible, though the most grounded, wholesome people in the show tend to hail from those lower ranks.<br />
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Apparently retroactive injury had to be added to insult and injury paid unto Anna. Of course, he had to have been molested as a child. Clearly the only way people will keep watching is if Anna and Bates are stabbed with pen knives every few episodes. Nothing fatal, of course, but flesh wounds must be inflicted for fear of loss of audience interest.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> That story line is the one that wears me out. Ridiculous. That shit is so sadly common in real life, and also sadly ignored, that it's shitty to use it like Fellowes has, without being able to treat the subject matter sensitively or in a way that helps anyone anywhere.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The shot of Stowell underneath the snarling mounted lion head on the is a comically obvious metaphorical juxtaposition.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I noticed that too. Pretty sure that head belonged to Scar from <i>The Lion King</i>.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Jesus, Princess Kuragin is one dour old bitch. Violet is a cockeyed optimist and blinding ray of sunshine by comparison.
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<b><br /></b>
<b>WG:</b> I still dig that guy. He brings a wholly different vibe to the proceedings than any character before him. I don't know if it's the acting or the character, but he's sprung from something more tangibly believable than the soap opera he's been stuck into.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> True dat. Robert's late night conversation with Edith was an oasis in the midst of the barren desert of niceties that is Edith's life. She doesn't get many bright spots, but his overwhelming acceptance of his granddaughter was heartwarming.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Agreed. Grantham was obviously more concerned about his chest pains than he let on. He was in non-oaf mode. Which is nice.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Lady Mary siccing Thomas on Stowell is the aristocratic equivalent of using a Panzerzug to get rid of a zit. Stowell certainly had to pay Branson more respect, but an entire family was almost done on account of Thomas's handiwork. Talk about invoking the nuclear option.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It was a thing of beauty. Just when you think those at Downton are sheltered or soft, they turn loose Thomas and he sets the place on fire inside of 48 hours.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> "We can't all be as unselfish as you, Mary. (beat) Just joking." I laughed so hard at Allen Leach's delivery of that line.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I hope they still make room for Branson next season. I suspect it's the last of him, but maybe it's better for him to get written of the show before he was completely emasculated. Who the fuck am I kidding? He was neutered long ago.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It seems odd to introduce Henry Talbot as what superficially amounts to a suitor for Lady Mary, but it would be surprising for Matthew Goode to actually join the cast as a regular, as he surely can't fit <i>Downton</i> into his schedule while he's a primary cast member on <i>The Good Wife</i>. As far as Henry being into racing, that's probably a harbinger of what's to come in the Season Six premiere. Mary and Talbot will have had an off-screen affair, only for him to run into the business end of a lorry.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> After the Bates/Anna/Bates murder plot twists, two car crashes isn't out of the question. Just what <i>Downton</i> needs, more hot car action.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> <i>Molesley & Baxter, Private Dicks</i>. Another show I'd rather watch.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Absolutely.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Violet's admission to having run away with Kuragin only to be stopped by the Princess was something everyone had expected since he first popped up in Yorkshire, but her failing to eliminate other instances in which she may have strayed may mean that we will be so lucky as to have a different septua-/octogenarian suitor risen from the dead each subsequent season. I hope next season's vier for Violet is played by Sean Connery.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Was that Fellowes underlying theme this season? Old people can still live life? I'd love to see a shirtless Sean Connery in the cast. Michael Caine? How about Roger Daltrey? Is Tom Courtenay still alive? Benny Hill? This is starting to become a lot like what I imagine <i>The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel</i> is like.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Have we come to that? Wishcasting a version of <i>Downton Abbey</i> that more closely mirrors <i>The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel</i>? Jesus.<br />
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Branson running interference on Robert's drunken attempt at speech delivery was a fun bit of business. If this was a true farewell (and with Branson not actually dying, perhaps he'll make occasional appearances), the show has had worse. Lord Grantham's fond farewell showed how far the two have come. His speech to the house got me a bit choked up, but who knows how much of that is related to Branson's departure leaving little to root for in the house.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> At that point, I would have enjoyed it more if Branson would have been forced to continue finding ways to cock-block Grantham from getting off his speech. "And now, Mr. Moseley will entertain us with a version of Silver Bells in the style of STOMP!"<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'm glad Carson was able to put aside the airs they'd been putting on and just propose. Mrs. Hughes's sister sapping her of her money need not be a hindrance for Carson's happiness. The upright proposal was the nicest moment of the Christmas Special. The most tear-inducing moment of the finale.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Hughes is a mensch. Another spin-off I'd rather watch. Carson and Hughes with an unending river of entertaining characters coming and going from the B&B.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> And we end on Bates returning to presumably impregnate Anna only to have Fellowes fuck with the pair once again. It seems like the show is heading irreversibly down the path toward irrelevance, especially given Fellowes's inability to restock the show with rich, new characters who are able to draw the concern and affection of the audience. What spin-off would you rather watch than another season of this dreck?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fellowes and Mary on <i>Naked and Afraid</i>. What are you going with?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'd have to say I want <i>Molesley: Once, Twice, Three Times a Ladies' Maid</i> to happen most. Well, if this is the last time we venture down this road, it's been my pleasure.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The feeling is mutual.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/B4dl6JSf-bc" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-24219537392177492892015-02-22T22:18:00.000-06:002015-02-22T22:18:25.494-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Eight<i>Rose and Atticus are wed. Anna gets taken away. Daisy gets drunk on London. Denker gets drunk.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Well at least some stuff happened this week. Sure, one of the things was the most predictable and tedious development of the season, but the pre-Christmas Special [for those of you not privy to <i>Downton Abbey</i>'s airing schedule on ITV in the UK, this was the season finale that aired in the fall, and then next week's installment will be the special that aired on Christmas Day] season finale wrapped up things and kept an eye toward the future on the cast members who may or may not be moving on to greener/different pastures. I will say that Julian Fellowes did a better job dealing with the possible departures of actors this season than he did in the past. He threw out some red herrings and built both Daisy and Branson up for possible exits. Better than Matthew's absurd run-in with the lorry.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> As <i>Downton</i> finales go, this was definitely one of the better versions. Which is odd, because as a whole, this may be the weakest season ever.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Agreed on both counts.<br />
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"Don't call me 'Donk.'" Pretty sure that one's set in stone there, Robbie boy.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Donk, forevermore. It fits so nicely.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I haven't seen the Christmas Special yet, but it does seem that Fellowes has left the door open to possibly having Branson stay because the dynamic of his relationship with Mary could suddenly change. I doubt it does, but it wouldn't surprise me if it happened, as they've quietly become partners in crime/confidants. If for no other reason, she may attempt to reel him in to avoid the eventual sororicide charge that she'll face when she murders Edith.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Mary and Tom, eh? I'd be surprised if Mary could do that to Sybbie, but we've already established she doesn't respect the sacred bonds of sisterhood like most human females. I'm glad to see her lonely at the end of the season. I'm petty like that. Just a few episodes ago she was gallivanting around the beautiful English countryside, riding sidesaddle like a boss, with a devil's haircut, leaving a trail of boners in her wake. Sweet comeuppance!<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Is it just me or did young George look like they were grooming him to be the model for Cracker Jack? Clearly his wardrobe was inspired by Sailor Jack's. Now all they need is a dog named Bingo. Oddly, the real-life Bingo, a stray named Russell--who the hell names their dog Russell?--outlived Robert Rueckheim, the boy who Sailor Jack was modeled after. Little Robert died from pneumonia at the age of eight shortly after he became the face of Cracker Jack in 1921. Russell lived until 1930, twelve years after being introduced to the world as Bingo.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> A spittin' image. It's weird to see Fellowes throw the kids in the random scene from time to time. Speaking of which, what the hell happened to Isis?? I could hardly sleep all week, laying awake at night wondering what happened to that damn dog, and Fellowes leaves me hanging.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I think we're to assume that when Robert said it would be Isis's last night, it was her last night. Or at least that's what the pet memorial stonemason would have me believe.<br />
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Molesley, the appreciator of the arts. Loves all small museums. Especially if he's not been to them. Or even to the country in which they reside. Still, you can't help but root for the dope to find happiness with Baxter.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Molesley waxing poetic about museums he'd never been to was hilarious. There's a true renaissance man buried somewhere inside that guy. He just needs some guidance to bust him out.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Prince Kuragin yearns to be inside the Dowager Countess with such boldness that it is nearly impossible to not admire the fortitude behind his courtship. At this point, I think he would batter down my defenses and leave me helpless against his advances.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I would have curled up with Kuragin about four episodes ago. And I'd still be there to this very day. It's been a cold winter where I'm living. Dude's got bad-ass hair for an old man.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> While Denker is a shifty old bat who I wouldn't trust to polish the hood ornament on my Rolls-Royce, I like that she and Violet ferreted out Spratt's sabotage in a mere moment. I like when Thomas can show a bit of humanity and compassion, and Denker provided that opportunity in this chapter. His complete screw job on Denker at the casino was delightful.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I'm resentful that Denker ends up making Pratt look sympathetic. I was hoping Thomas had found true love. That he recouped some cash and dignity from small-time grifters was almost as satisfying.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> What wasn't delightful was any moment that poisonous bitch Susan MacClare. Lady Flincher is wholly repulsive. The tart set-up. The divorce announcement. One almost wishes for Shrimpy to have her offed rather than suffer the ignominy of divorce. "Do you have any English blood?" What a shrew.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> She's what my Grandmother used to call "the shits." Alienating her daughter might be the most appropriate punishment though. How do you come back from that one?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I like that Violet has become more supportive of Isobel and Lord Merton's relationship. Obviously her hesitancy arises from her fear of losing her closest friend, but the public show of support is nice. Strangely, I find myself much more drawn to the romances surrounding the septuagenarians than I do any of the young ones--with the exception of Branson, of course, who seems nowhere near embarking upon a second whirlwind romance. Maybe Fellowes should dump the rest of the cast and just focus on the olds.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I would be wholly in favor of more olds and less everything else. Seeing the possibility of autumn romance between Isobel and Merton has surely pushed Violet into "why not me?" territory. Plus, Kuragin has the look of a man who can light a match in anyone's crotch.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Daisy's turn to being amongst the enlightened continues down its improbably--nay, illogical path. It was touching when Patmore was crying by herself for the loss she was expecting to endure. Of course, dim Daisy failed to pick up on why Patmore was going to miss her. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, especially in the head of a dullard like Daisy.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I was thinking back to your comments from a few weeks ago, incredulous at Daisy's turn from simpering, drooling, dolt to budding socialist philosopher. It is a radical whipsaw turn for her character that borders on the hilarious. I've heard that she unveils her new invention, the Microwave Oven, during the Christmas Special. <br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Atticus's stag party was a bit disappointing. Where was the donkey (and I don't mean Robert)? That originated in London, not Tijuana, right? How the hell did Atticus not pick up on the fact that there were people taking photos of the plant and himself in vaguely compromising positions? It's not like they were taking them through peep holes or anything.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The idea of stag parties has always seemed like meathead juvenalia to me, from the same place that generates "man caves" and other misguided efforts at extended adolescence. But fuck yeah, if you're going to do it, do it with the proper debauchery and danger. Atticus is a swell guy, but with his brow-beating old man hammering his self-worth all these years, I don't blame him for being a beat slow on the drop.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The disapproving parents angle was predictably tedious. Making a true villain of Susan wasn't objectionable, but the high society prejudice gets a bit dull, even if it surely exists/existed. Susan reminds me of Bebe Glazer, Frasier Crane's dubious agent, but only if Bebe were slightly more depressive. They're certainly equals when it comes to connivery and scheming.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I felt silly that I instinctively went for Atticus's old man as the likely blackmailer. Rose's character arc has generally been confined to exploring choices that pissed off her elders. Early on she was caught smoking behind the convenience store in Ripon. There were several episodes where she debated getting a tattoo. She's still breaking all the rules. I've never seen one episode of <i>Frasier</i>, but I have enjoyed a YouTube clip of Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage dozens of times.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I shit you not, <i>Frasier</i>'s really good. People like to conflate the status of its lead character and his brother with a wholesale endorsement of rich dipshittery. It's not that at all. And it's really funny. I swear.<br />
<br />
When Denker was singing and dancing in the servants' dining quarters, I thought for sure she was going to break into "It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll." Just once, I want Fellowes to throw us an anachronistic curveball with a knowing wink.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Hilarious. Maybe the only move that could bring back the show from the brink. How about a little Andrew WK? Bringing up The Stooges tender paen to love and devotion, "I Wanna Be Your Dog," underneath Gillingham's shameful pleading with Mary a few weeks ago would have been a nice jolt. Give things a different hue.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Lady Sinderby laid down the law with an emphatic stomp of the foot and clenching of balls in fist. Sit down and shut up, Lord Sinderby, your wife is running the show and knows what's good for you.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The men on <i>Downton</i> are more or less buffoons. Tom gets a pass. Bates, of course. Other than that, the buffoon vibe is strong.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Anna gets arrested. Of course. Is this the biggest fucking eye-roll of the series's five-year run? There have been many, but this may be the worst. It's probably even more insulting than her being raped last season, and that was almost unanimously considered Fellowes's biggest misstep thus far. It's like he has no idea what to do if he's not fingering Bates and Anna's wounds. How fucking boring will it be to watch Bates visit Anna in the clink? Will she also have to walk in circles in a 12-by-12 "courtyard" for her daily constitutional?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> It's ridiculous. I want to view it as bad ass pro-Fem <i>Death Wish</i>-type justice. The whole Scotland Yard noodling around thread has been a yawner. Fellowes didn't even give the detectives oversized magnifying glasses.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Big misstep on the lack of magnifying glasses. Ya dun fucked up, Fellowes.<br />
<br />
I loved Cora putting that old racist broad in her place by reminding her that her father was Jewish.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The post-bon mot chuckle she shared with Donk was even better.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> When Carson tells Lady Mary that Tony wasn't good enough for her, one cannot help but wonder what he'd think of a Branson/Mary pairing. The obvious match-up is between her and Blake when he returns from Poland, but the hints have certainly been there, and Mary seemed awfully distraught at the notion of Tom's departure.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Tom and Mary would put Carson in a tough spot. Can Carson overlook Tom's humble origins as a grease monkey? Or, furthermore, as an Irishman?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Robert's memorial to Archie was a nice if obvious touch. The show is at its best when it gives the proles a little ray of sunshine in their otherwise limited lives.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Fellowes gets a tingle in his thighs when he showcases the benevolence of the swells.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Marigold looks more like the alien in <i>Mac and Me</i> than Gregson. Wouldn't that make for a better show, anyway?<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Holy shit. That is spot on. I was thinking the little Gregson was a bit off physically. Perhaps like the baby picture that elicited a shriek of agony from Joaquin Phoenix in <i>Inherent Vice</i>. But the alien in <i>Mac and Me</i> is obviously the same actor playing Marigold. Put that alien in a pub, knocking back pints as fast as Spratt can set em up, is a show I'd look forward to seeing.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD: </b>That shriek would have been perfect.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LEC_lkpD3rM" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-10360904134532113252015-02-15T22:14:00.000-06:002015-02-15T22:14:48.657-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Seven<i>Edith is found in London. Lord Merton's sons are dickholes. Other stuff happens.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> "He's a man. Men don't have rights." Or Robert would totally overreact to the news of Edith having let a man's penis penetrate her out of wedlock. He'd certainly be institutionalized or worse if he knew that Mary's bloodthirsty rectum killed Pamuk. It's entirely possible that the news of a bastard grandchild would send him running into the nearest brick wall at full steam.<br />
<br />
<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Just hearing the word "bastard" at the dinner table gave Grantham the vapors. I assume death by brick wall running is not outside the realm of possibility. Being fragile is one of Grantham's most irritating faults. Doesn't take much to knock him off balance. Sex seems to elicit shame beyond reason in most societies, I can only imagine how acute that shame must have been in early 20th Century London amongst the swells.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I liked it when shortly thereafter Violet put her son in his place. "When I say we need some air, we need some air." Sails, say "au revoir" to that wind. Followed shortly by a swift rebuke of her own son's offer to take her for a walk when Mrs. Drewe arrived, Robert must have longed for the love of a mother who had no concern for him. Fellowes certainly likes to paint Robert as a blustery buffoon once every few episodes, but I like it more when he renders him impotent and inconsequential as he's done in this week's episode. Go worry about the dog, Robert, let the women run things.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Excellent point. I also prefer castrated Robert to to bumbling Robert. The many faces of Robert remind me of the various Rob Lowe characters in those DirecTV commercials. Blowhard Robert. Dressed in War Red Robert. Soft Paunch Robert. Pouting Robert. Self-satisfied Robert. Genius Investor Robert. Carrying a dog corpse in a tasteful throw Robert.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Tony Gillingham's game is woeful. Blake is running circles around him, patching things up for Tony with the admittedly comely Mabel Lane Fox, and laying the groundwork with Lady Mary while making it seem like he doesn't really give a shit if they end up together. He clearly reads her much better than the one wearing the dunce cap.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Another bumbling buffoon, Gillingham is the perfect dunce in waiting at Downton. Does he really think he can't abandon Mary because he porked her? How quaint. Mary might as well be walking around with toilet paper on her shoe.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I guess it's sort of endearing that Daisy cares about something more than intrastaff longing, but her turn from scullery maid to Labour champion is beyond absurd. Her starting point was waking up to a note card stapled to her hand reminding her to breathe. Worrying (correctly) about Labour's short run in power is a step too far.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Typical Fellowes, the dolts and the blowhards are the Labour supporters. Daisy reminds me of that loveable stoner high school buddy everyone has, who reads Noam Chomsky for the first time, trades his hacky sack for a subscription to <i>Z Magazine</i>, and then traps you for hours at parties talking about manufacturing consent.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> She's pretty much exactly that.<br />
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Rose: "Of course! How clever you are." Atticus: "Heh. Seems rather obvious to me." Get used to that Atticus. That no one sussed that out before is a bit absurd, where the hell else is Edith going to land? It's not like she has businesses the world over where she could make ends meet comfortably.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> I liked the Detroit option.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> So Tony can't leave Mary because the stank she left on him hasn't worn off? I'm sure Mabel would be able to detect Mary's scent once Tony's drawers his the floor.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> He's been marked.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Everyone is buying houses.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> <i>House Hunters, Downton Abbey Edition</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Mary tells Robert that Tony isn't the one and promptly avoids any instance in which Robert can dole out advice. He is pretty much entirely neutered in this episode.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Is Fellowes suggesting this is a good thing or a bad thing? The growing emergence of feminism, and recognizing women as equals? Or does he have Mommy issues?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I'm pretty sure he thinks this is a good thing. So much of the early goings of the show centered around the inability of Lady Mary to inherit the estate that it's nearly impossible to think that he'd think otherwise.<br />
<br />
Branson is tentatively planning to go the way of Miles Standish and plant his flag--albeit an Irish one--at Plymouth Rock. If he goes, what the hell will be left to keep me watching? Of course, his conversation with Li'l Syb at the creek laid just enough foundation for a decision to stay.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Not many reasons to watch, other than to see Mary get some kind of horrible comeuppance, or the Dowager between the sheets with Kuragin. I wouldn't mind seeing Branson go Bronson on Merton's shitheel son.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> That Mary doesn't understand the relationship dynamic between Isobel and Violet is a little dumbfounding. What a self-obsessed dolt. Violet's confession of what Isobel means to her, even if only to Mary, was touching. She needed someone to challenge her while being her friend.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Mary is pretty hard to take these days. Villainously self-absorbed. <br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Baxter is content to play the martyr. So tiresome.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Baxter and Edith are kind of bound by their own shame. Break the shackles ladies.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> For people who go to church like twice a year, they all seem inordinately preoccupied with interfaith marriage.<br />
<br />
That Mary doesn't think Larry Grey was going to be a prick again speaks once again to how dim she is. The <i>Downton Abbey</i> <a href="http://downtonabbey.wikia.com/wiki/Larry_Grey" target="_blank">wiki page</a> gives the following background for Larry Grey: "The Honourable Laurence "Larry" Grey is the elder son of Lord Merton and is a dickhead." Spot on. Dickhead. Twat. Shitbird. Fuckmook. If that's how their mother was, then that's as big a statement against arranged marriage as Fellowes has ever made, and that is with full knowledge of how terrible Lady Rose's mother is.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> On the <i>Downton Abbey</i> list of those who deserve a punch in the mouth, Larry occupies the top spot.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> The ol' Let Them Catch Us Necking gambit worked like a charm. Now that Blake is heading off to Poland, I'm sure that he'll learn tons under the wise advice of Wladyslaw Grabski, whose introduction of the zloty as a single common currency in 1924 helped curb hyperinflation without foreign aid making Poland the only such country to do so.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fellowes is setting up another death by Hitler. Blake just needs to get out of there by the Fall of 1939. The non-aggression pact is meaningless, Blake. Don't let it lull you into a false sense of security, and for the love of Mary, don't retreat to Belgium or France.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The Too Poor To Care For The Orphan gambit, however, is sure to blow up in their faces. Robert's complete indifference to the whole situation because DOG is kind of hilarious.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Isis means far more to Grantham than Edith. Fellowes hits us over the head with that one on a regular basis.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Isis has cancer. I'll cop to getting a bit misty when Robert laid Isis down in the bed, despite my not really caring about animals. He did look absurd with Isis blanketed in his arms, though. Hopefully they get a Siberian tiger to be called Zeke to replace Isis.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> A dead dog in the bed is pretty symbolic. I look forward to meeting Zeke.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/41lqQ4brvK4" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-16535839205338503672015-02-08T21:00:00.000-06:002015-02-08T21:00:01.994-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Six<i>Gregson's death is official. Edith copes by absconding with Marigold. Rich people race horses. Bates confirms our worst nightmare--that he didn't avenge Anna's rape by murdering the odious Green. Molesley gives Daisy a book.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> We kick off the episode with bad news, and it's not just that Robert and Cora are separate-bedding it. Of course, Mary shows that she hasn't changed much when it comes to her sister. Unsympathetic even when it comes to official news Gregson's death in the fracas of the Beer Hall Putsch. If there's one thing that Lady Mary and Hitler have in common, it's that they give zero shits how their actions affect Lady Edith. What dicks.<br />
<br />
<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Other commonalities between Hitler and Lady Mary: stylish haircuts, a passion for sketching, and underestimating Russian winters. The hysteria over Mary's devil's haircut cracked me up. Her pernicious need to needle Gillingham by attempting to be more desirable was nefarious. She's definitely a closet Dom.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> When Robert tried to cheer everyone up at brunch with drawings, my mind immediately leapt not to work-ups for the new Downton development but to untoward drawings of Isis pissing on the Brownshirts.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Isis got some serious screen time this episode. I kept thinking they'd find her dead. I still maintain there is a grand thread and meaning signified by Isis appearing on the screen, I just haven't figured it out yet. I do hope they find her dead and not merely listless sooner rather than later. I like dogs, but Isis seems too cocky for her own good. The attention lavished on Isis dwarfed the concern for Edith, which is entertaining.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Of course, the finality of the news just has to send Edith off the deep end. She'll use that sweet money from The Sketch to finance the homeschooling of the sure-to-be-loneliest girl in England Marigold Cumberbatch. That will surely be the pseudonymous surname upon which Edith will land, right? Edith and Marigold's landing spot is pretty sparse. I'd imagine it's what Mitt Romney felt like when he lived in that one little basement studio apartment that one time in college.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> She's gotta have a decent nest egg coming her way though, right? Much like Mittens, she'll forever have a twisted ideal of what "roughing" it is really like and won't understand how those without Lords or Governors for daddies can't pull themselves up by their bootstraps like they did. Fuck Jeb Bush too. On the other hand, glad to see Edith go Amber Alert and take her baby. Good for her. Marigold Cumberbatch rolls off the tongue rather nicely.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Please, do me a favor. Don't use that word. You may not use that word. It's off-limits to you. Only those in this house who understand it might use it. And don't use any part of it either. Don't use 'nest,' don't use 'egg.' You’re out in the forest you can point, 'The bird lives in a round stick.' And and and you have 'things' over easy with toast!"</td></tr>
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<b>OMD:</b> Now that there's a trace of Gregson's body that came up found, I somehow feel like Fellowes is more likely to narratively exhume his corpse, having him turn up after being held captive for a decade by Hitler's henchmen.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> So eventually they find Gregson's corpse in the Fuhrerbunker as a Hitler body double? Leaving Hitler free to escape by submarine to Argentina? Where he still lives today, as a humble trainer for the River Plate football club? Plausible. Now we know how Greg McDonald came up with the plot for <i>Fletch</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> God I love <i>Fletch</i>. The book is better than the film, of course, though no one reads anymore. <i>Fletch Won </i>is also awesome. I hope they go with the more adult tone of the novels and less with the tone struck in the Chevy Chase vehicle, which I loved but is not as engaging as the book.<br />
<br />
I'm shocked that Mrs. Denker and Spratt don't get along. Spratt not coexisting with the fellow help? Does not computer. I love that Isobel enjoyed the staff in-fighting at the Dower House, which reassured her of her choice to live a middle-class lifestyle.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> The spin-off series I'd love to see the most involves Spratt running a pub.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> At least Bates stumbling across Anna's Interwar contraception that she was holding freed the cat from the bag on the Green front. It took, what, a year and a half? I knew the Brits kept their feelings close to the chest, but Jesus, talk a bit. It also means that the door for the second wrongful prosecution of John Bates is wide open, though I think it'll be Anna who falls if anyone does.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Reviving the who killed Green story line is still goofy. The more ridiculous the perpetrator the better. I'm sticking with the adorable Marigold Cumberbatch as the most likely culprit. <i>The Bad Seed</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> Fellowes is really stepping up his septuagenarian courtship game this season. Kuragin and Violet reconnecting is nice in that it gives Maggie Smith something to do other than slinging quips and handing out her weekly morsel of sage advice. It's nice that Violet is actually going to miss her luncheon companion, Isobel.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> Great scene. Actually some heartfelt heat. I completely agree, it's refreshing to see the Dowager do things other than throw shade. Kuragin was making me tingle with all of his honest talk and naked longing.<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I guess that's bound to happen when we're subjected to five seasons and more than a decade of repression.<br />
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I'm glad Cora laid down the law with the "out of hand" flirtation line. Eat a buffet of dicks, Robert. Stop acting like a petulant child. Sleep with your wife.<br />
<br />
<b>WG:</b> No doubt. Jesus, Chubs, no one likes a whiner. The power move would have been to kick Cora out of the bedroom if you were going to make that kind of play. Slinking off to one of the guest rooms was petty. Did Cora ever know about Grantham's almost persuaded moment? I seem to recall him smooching a servant a few seasons back. Was Cora giving him the those without sin cast the firs stone ultimatum with that in mind?<br />
<br />
<b>OMD:</b> I think there was a growing divide between Robert and Cora while he was lusting after the war widow, Jane, but I think she never knew fully what he'd done.<br />
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Isis seems to be ill. Isis is well over twelve years old. Somehow I doubt she pulls through. Into what kind of terrible downward spiral will Isis's death send Robert? He'll surely mourn the loss of Isis more seriously than the departure of his sad-sack daughter.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The contrast between the Isis scenes and the Edith scenes is no accident. For whatever reason, they literally treat Edith worse than a dog. Is it because of her nose?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> At least Mary's hair was better than that tragic do that Sybil wore in her last days. It would have looked better had she chosen to ride her steed astride rather than sidesaddle. When her horse leapt over the hedge, I assumed she was a goner, sure to fly forty yards from her untrustworthy steed.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The racing scenes had me anticipating a spill as well. Riding side saddle over jumps seems batshit crazy, but we know Mary has some skills in the saddle. I loves me some female jockeys, especially in route races. Rosie Napravnik, Greta Kuntzweiler, Rose Homeister, Julie Krone. Mary would be at home in that group.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It's shitty to think that Molesley had to leave school at 12. Makes sense that he cares about Daisy's matriculation. What might Molesley have been with the benefit of a full education? Surely, man would have traveled to space decades earlier.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Probably breaking codes with Alan Turing.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I love that Blake has sicced Mabel Lane Fox on Tony Gillingham's dull dick. A dog with a tired old bone if you will. That Gillingham called Mabel a "positive centaur" infers that he, not unlike Alex Rodriguez or the Priest in <i>The Life and Times of Tim</i>, fantasizes about being a centaur and likely has commissioned artwork to have himself depicted as one. I guess Mary has found her Matthew 2.0, though only in the sense that he challenges her.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Gillingham's centaur fixation is all over the series. It's one of the great things about <i>Downton Abbey</i>, the inexplicable surreal/fantasy flourishes that Fellowes drops in from time to time.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Edith's parting words to Tom echo the recurrent through-line this season wherein ladies ask Branson to be true to himself. Are they calling him a sellout? They better watch out, or he'll stand by and watch the proles throw them from their castle in the uprising.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> "Don't let them FLATTEN you, Tom." Ominous.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The churlish Mrs. Drewe got her comeuppance. Don't fuck with the gentry, farm lady, or they'll come back and take their dumbly named bastard children.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> She went from "Ah Hell No" to resigned acceptance pretty quick. Other than that, the main thing I took from that scene was admiration for Mr. Drewe's fabulous vest. Again.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> "There's always something, isn't there?" Violet, Violet, Violet. I'd say join the 20th Century, but there was the whole Holocaust thing. And there's a spike in anti-Semitic attacks in France of late. Is it weird that I just do not understand anti-Semitism at all? It's just so bizarre to me for a group that's basically been shit upon for centuries to have so much hate thrust upon it still to this day. Then again, I don't really get why anyone buys into organized religion other than to try to deal with the looming specter of death, so what do I know? Back to Violet's comment, Isobel's dumbfounded glare was priceless. It was that "get with the fucking times" look that so many shoot her, but from Isobel there's the understanding that we're from the same time and still you utter such nonsense.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I don't get it either. My wife and I are dabbling with the lengthy WWII documentary <i>World at War</i>. Excellent series. Narrated by Larry Olivier so that's a bonus. The inhumanity aimed at Jews is hard to fathom. A shitty coda new to me was that even after concentration camps were liberated, many people were still stuck there for years because other countries were not willing to allow them entry, including the U.S. Brutal.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'm glad Fellowes saved a nice moment for the end of the show. Carson's overture to Mrs. Hughes to spend their retirement years together was nice and precisely what one would expect of him. It wasn't exactly romantic, but it spoke to the platonic love they have for one another in a touching way.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> A companion elderly hook-up to mirror the Dowager/Isobel flings upstairs. Good for Fellowes. Old people need to fuck just like everybody else. Shout it from the mountain tops.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aa3rBVb3v4g" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-84303053603721558902015-02-02T10:48:00.001-06:002015-02-02T10:48:12.920-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Five<i>Lady Rose meets a suitor in the rain. Branson says goodbye to one in the rain. It rains.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> In the opening scene we have two references specific to the time. The first is in reference to the Moonella Group, the first nudist colony in England started to home the English Gymnosophy Society, gymnosophy apparently a name for nude philosophers. The second reference is to Ellen Terry, the acclaimed Shakespearean and comic actress who at the time was very similar in stature to a present-day Maggie Smith, so it's fitting that she's making the reference.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> I'm as baffled about a nudist colony located in soggy climes as much as the Dowager. Actually, nudists colonies baffle me in general. What is Fellowes trying to accomplish by bringing it up? Largest penis on the show? The Dowager? <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It seems weird to just throw it out there without any cause. Mrs. Patmore asks Mr. Carson for investment advice, which makes no sense until she reveals her rationale for asking his help: that he's a man. Ugh. I was curious as to whether Carson's advice was going to get Patmore nicked for insider trading. I guess her plans to be a slumlord nix that.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Carson, even moreso than Lord Grantham, is Downton's prized old-fashioned buffoon. Nice how he blithely passes off such solid "advice," you know, the kind gleaned from hearing 20 seconds about a topic you know nothing about. How very kind to pass forward such sterling wisdom. The areas of Carson's expertise are dwindling.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Jesus Christ, this Edith / Marigold / Mrs. Drewe subplot is terrible. It seems every season has at least one subplot that is drives me to question whether I should keep watching this show. This season seems to be teeming with them. The Marigold Conundrum might just be the most awful of the lot. If only Lady Edith had let some young, handsome Turk charm her knickers off, we might never have had to deal with this horseshit. Instead the supremely British Mr. Gregson liked his sex acts to not fall under the category of acts subject to prosecution under sodomy statutes, and we're left to deal with the fallout. "I gave up ten months of my life to make sure she came safely into this world." I feel like I gave up ten years of my life watching Edith lurk in the background scaring the shit out of Mrs. Drewe.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Agreed. This shit be getting stale. I'd favor Edith actually getting more brazen, showing up at the Drewe's frequently and without warning. Cape Fear type shenanigans. Smoking a cigar out by the clothesline and laughing maniacally. What irritates me most is how Edith is always the victim. Grow a pair of ovaries Edith. Yes, life has dealt you a brutal hand. Show us some of that classic Brit stiff upper lip and whatnot and seize what's yours.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The Branson / Bunting love story had me scared for a moment. When he said he was contemplating a change, I was damn close to throwing in the towel. Thank the gods he elected to stay, at least for the time being. She needed to go and go fast.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Next up? Tom flees to the States and begins working with Fighting Bob La Follette?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> He'd only have about a year to learn how to coiffure his hair just so. I like that Branson's got the onions to walk around without an umbrella. Sack for days.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Umbrellas only serve the interests of capitalism.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Speaking of irritating storylines, when the fuck will this investigation into the righteous death of Mr. Green be done with so that we can move on with our lives? It's like Fellowes knew Anna and Mr. Bates needed to be together, but once he got them to that point he decided he needed to find a new way to bungle the handling of their relationship each season. Kudos, Mr. Fellowes, you've succeeded once again.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The series, like most series who make it this far, is having a tough time keeping it interesting. Reheating old storylines leaves me cold. Bates talked dreamily of a household with Anna and children around a fireplace. Yes! Give me that Fellowes. Don't just wedge that BS in there as an obvious fulcrum to turn the Bates household on its ear.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The pogrom in which Atticus's grandparents were driven from Odessa was apparently (according to Wikipedia) spearheaded by the Greek sailors on the ships in the harbor and then the local Greeks happily joined them. The next one in 1871 saw the Russians join with the Greeks in trying to drive. This was the first one (of the three at that point) that saw the Russians and Greeks join together in the massacre of Russian Jews and was sort of the turning point for the Jewish community in Russia, as integration into the culture became increasingly unimaginable.<br />
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So Nikolai is a racist. Glad Kuragin has his manners. Lady Rose, of course, has no such racial hang-ups.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fellowes did much better with the Russian angle than he did with Edith and the Anna/Bates/Green murder triangle. Lady Rose, however, is among the least interesting characters on the show. Another courtship. Yay.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> With the increased moments in which Lady Mary and Tom play confidante to one another, one can't help but wonder if groundwork isn't being lain. It's probably nothing, but it does seem a bit odd to have them understanding each other so well. Obviously, Mary's got a suitor at hand that can match her wits and challenge her in the form of Mr. Blake, but it wouldn't shock me if Fellowes took the show down that path.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'd welcome that development. Let's spitball a list of suitors, in order of preference, that we'd like to see Lady Mary matched with: Italian train timer Benito Mussolini, Washington Senators right-hander Walter Johnson, Jelly Roll Morton, Molesley, Patmore, Tom, George Bernard Shaw, Manchester City centre forward Frank Roberts, an imaginary pony named Horace, Gillingham, and leastly, the over-confident little terrier Blake.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'm not necessarily anti-Blake, but either Mussolini or Walter Johnson would be great. I think a letter-writing campaign needs to be started posthaste.<br />
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"I'm afraid you've read somewhere that rudeness in old age is amusing, which is quite wrong, you know." Rosamund, you're winning me over this week.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Not very often that someone gets over on the Dowager. Retribution will be had.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Fucking Bricker. What a dink. I'm so bored by his attempt to woo Cora that I don't really want to commit too much time to it. The bedroom brawl was pretty lame. In his uniform, it looked like Robert the bellhop was taking it to Bricker.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Typical Fellowes. Makes Grantham a heel one week, and then damn near makes him likeable the next. You are the MMA expert, but it looked to me like Grantham had side control and was set to choke him out with a triangle, until Edith happened. What must have been going through her mind? Dad is really giving Mom the what-for tonight? I better check? That outfit was hilarious. The only thing missing was the matching red ball for his snozz.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I think he was going to get Bricker into a mounted crucifix from side control and pummel him into next week with some medieval ground-and-pound. This surely isn't the first time he's practiced his MMA moves in the bedroom. Edith probably just wanted to make sure that<br />
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While Branson's non-umbrella-using onions are cause to give an appreciative nod, the brass balls on Blake to try to get Mabel Lane Fox to jump back onto the Gillingham wagon was something to which one needs to stand up and give applause. Fortune favors the bold, Blake. "But what should we do with your food?" That scene made sitting through the mind-numbing first fifteen minutes of this week's episode worth it. The shit-eating grin he's wearing as she recounts his proposal is outstanding.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> He's ornery. Personally, I'd like to see more of Mabel Lane Fox.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'm sure Violet and Rosamund's plan to get Marigold out of the picture will go off without a hitch.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Spoiler: Marigold killed Green.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Good call.<br />
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I'll be honest, I'm not sure how Fellowes is going to be salvage something good out of this season. It's been rough and just seems to be getting rougher. How feel ye?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> <i>Downton</i> is headed to suck town. It's a great challenge for shows to stay fresh and to sustain viewer interests in characters. A whole lot of flailing going on.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-gOyeGC6-d4" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-76093831927002992132015-01-25T21:37:00.000-06:002015-01-25T21:37:17.363-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Four<i>In this week's episode of </i>Downton Abbey<i>, Robert pitches fits while ignoring the value of the women around him. Sarah Bunting enrages Lord Grantham with her thorny persistence toward forwarding her agenda. Lady Mary rather unsuccessfully tries to refuse Lord Gillingham's proposal. Lord Merton asks for Isobel's hand in marriage. Shrimpy and Bricker play the part of house guests of the week. News of Gregson's presumed demise draws near.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> So Thomas looks like shit. That no one<b><i>--</i></b>other than Carson, whose wide-eyed silent registration of horrified indignation at Thomas's appearance undermining the decorum of lunch spoke volumes<b><i>--</i></b>was shocked at the ghastly pallor of his skin and the fiery bags 'neath his eyes speaks volumes to the degree to which everyone else in the house is indifferent at best to Barrow's well-being. There is of one thing that we can be sure: Thomas's attempts to rid himself of the burden of homosexuality through tinctures and elixirs will be about as successful as praying the gay away.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Those colors don't run.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It's a damn shame that Thomas wasn't just a bit more sympathetic, so that this story line could resonate a bit more deeply. As it is, we feel bad for Thomas, but he's such a conniving prick 80% of the time that the modest steps made toward his redemption that Fellowes has taken from time to time probably won't be enough to draw the emotional blood from the viewer that it would have if, say, William or Alfred were the one who was gay in a time in which that was not an option. I guess Thomas would be little more than an evil caricature without the homosexuality as a partial explanation for his devious nature, and concocting a suitable alternative explanation that would conjure feelings of sympathy for such a bastard would be difficult, but still, it's a shame that the horrors of being gay in the early 20th Century couldn't have been explored with a character who doesn't simultaneously fit the bill of the classic heel.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It's shitty that Fellowes makes Thomas the gay character. Look at <i>The Wire</i>. David Simon made the most interesting character (Omar) gay. Fellowes on the other hand, makes the gay guy a sneaky cheating back-stabber. The progressive female teacher is a thorny blowhard. He's working from his 1920s stereotype handbook. It's a dusty fucking tome. His politics suck. To be fair, he's been more enlightened with other choices, but he fumbles badly with Bunting and Thomas.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It seems like the theme of this episode lies in the evolving notion of the non-permanent nature of marriage in 20th Century society. Shrimpy wanting a divorce from his insufferable shrew of a wife, Susan. Widower Lord Merton proposing to widow Isobel. Mary thinking better of being wed to Lord Gillingham after having been dissatisfied with how they fit together (please, read that however you'd like). The traveling salesman trying to worm his way into Cora's heart/pants with adulation over her appreciation for art. The revelation that Kuragin begged Violet to abscond to some upper crust love nest on the shores of the Black Sea. Is Julian Fellowes having some marital woes?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Apparently so. I need more Kuragin. I'd pay to hear that guy read the Austin phone book. Speaking of pro-fem pop culture, did you realize that Hall and Oates sizzling chart topper, "Adult Education," is written from a female point of view? I knew Daryl Hall had more facets than you'd guess from his choice in music, from his smash home renovation show <i>Daryl's House,</i> and from his bold hair style, but I didn't know he had more nuance than Julian Fellowes. Don't actually read the lyrics to that song.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I had no idea, but between the gender-bent perspective on "Adult Education" and the anti-anal dance anthem "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)," Hall and Oates are nothing if not ready to venture into challenging territory for a songwriting team.<br />
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Violet's recounting of Kuragin's attempt to lure her away from the deceased Lord Grantham was quite nice. "Like all Englishmen of his type, he hid his qualities beneath a thick blanket of convention, so I didn't see who he really was at first."<br />
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<b>WG:</b> An elegant way to get that sentiment across. Fellowes, you complicated fucker.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I wanted to make a joke about how nothing gets me randier than [near] septuagenarian widow/widower courtship, but Lord Merton's proposal sincerely brought a tear to my eye. Damn you, Fellowes.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm looking forward to the honeymoon montage, a la Bates and Anna. Tangled sheets. Tasteful cleavage. Meaty thighs. Merton cross-eyed. I was hoping when he left, his heart and head buzzing, that he would have put on Isobel's gardening hat.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Would've been perfect.<br />
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It surely looks like Gregson was killed in the Beer Hall Putsch of November of 1923 that landed Hitler in jail for treason after the Brown Shirts failed in their march to set up an oppositional government to the Weimar Republic in Munich. The ensuing trial of Hitler gave way to the rise to prominence of the Nazi Party as he was given a public platform from which to espouse the tenets of National Socialism, so Fellowes has done a fine job of incorporating the Crawleys into the periphery of the fabric of world history once again.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I've got a twenty against your ten that Carson spouts some shit that shows him sympathetic to Hitler at some point.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> As long as he can find a way to qualify Hitler's changes to Europe as attempting to honor the tired old class system, that could happen.<br />
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Robert's continued marginalization of his wife and her opinions cannot possibly be to his long-term benefit. His childish petulance in this episode is dialed up to eleven until the closing seconds of the installment. It does at times become tedious, though his protestations at Bricker's transparent attempts to sweet-talk Cora's Interwar undergarments to the floorboards are not without their merits.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I laughed when he blew out dinner. I'd rather see him in pissing contest with Bricker than Bunting. What was with the public show of interrogating Daisy and Patmore? That was horseshit. He should have just asked them to flash their tits. Or maybe asked Daisy if she knew what 2+3 was.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> To be fair, Daisy may not know the answer to that question, and I don't think it has any relation to Lord Grantham trying to keep the serfs in their place.<br />
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Lady Rose's assertion that she'll only marry a man to whom she's enamored can only be followed by one thing: enter Suitor Number One. At least her unhappily married father will not be the one to block her from a union borne of happiness.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> She's been significantly less horny and more prone to social services this season, she's do for a romp. I say pair her up with Tom.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Tony[!], Toni[!], Tone[!], whenever will you learn that women don't like being told that they love you and will come to their senses while disabusing them of the notion that they get to choose such feelings after having been jabbed about Liverpool by your dick? I just re-watched the episode of <i>Black Mirror</i> featuring Tom Cullen, and I'll admit to having had a bit of a hard time divorcing Tony Gillingham from the shitbird ("Jonas") he played in that episode. Perhaps there was a statue better suited to dumping? Could he have really challenged her assertion at Trafalgar Square in front of the raised, majestic visage of the virile Lord Nelson atop a phallic Corinthian column?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> How emasculating to flunk your fuck test with a potential fiance, get dumped in a garden. I think Gillingham's secret is that he's loud in bed. Lots of high-pitched squealing and wheezing. I've only seen one episode of <i>Black Mirror</i>, and it was sadly Cullen-less. Does he have a spit curl?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> "Here, look at these plants growing in the fertile soil. You certainly won't be planting your seeds in mine." Keep going on <i>Black Mirror</i>. It's good shit.<br />
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Anna done gummed up the works with that trip to Piccadilly. Bad Mrs. Bates!<br />
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<b>WG:</b> So she is a suspect now? That would be hilarious and potentially interesting to me. And hot.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Some <i>Caged Heat</i> circa 1924 action would be cool and fitting. Of course, they'll probably just be walking in circles in the prison yard, doing calisthenics, and getting their letters withheld by the guards.<br />
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On a separate but related note, the green screen/soundstage work on a few of the London scenes looked pretty bad this week, though I understand that it's be damn near impossible to shoot at Piccadilly on a British TV budget and have everything look like it was March of 1924--Hitler's trial transpired between February 26th and April 1st of 1924.<br />
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Sarah Bunting strikes again, this time leading to Robert storming out and Branson looking the part of someone who sharted thrice in quick succession at the dinner table. Holy shit is she unable to bite down upon her tongue at opportune times. It must be exceedingly tedious to be her co-worker, as every sentence she utters is in the service of a cause.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> She's brutal.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Someone with more fine art chops than I possess could surely assign an importance to the shot framing of the painted maiden in the stairs outlined by the Jacobethan balusters of Highclere Castle as Mary ascends the stairs to console Tom before heading off to bed.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Nice catch. Tis not I. I'm more at home with Rance Mulliniks.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Less than a month of proper book learnin' can't possibly make Daisy's letter on behalf of dear Archie a readable one. I'd be terrified to read it.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Cuz fore he got his head rattled on a count of the horors of warz.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The Dowager Countess owes Princess Kuragin the debt of reuniting wife with husband? Do spill the lurid beans, Violet.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Anything is possible. Speaking of historical guide posts, is the whole Russian/Kuragin story somehow related to the Anastasia story?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> And the episode closes with Robert pledging to build his field of dreams. Or tasteful housing developments. Perhaps there will be a home for the fallen Shoeless Joe amongst the homes. He would surely be a fine ringer for the village cricket squad.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Now there's a proper ending to <i>Eight Men Out</i>. Shoeless Joe smacking belters all over the pitch in Ripon. Molesley polishing silver in the stands, leaning over in a knowing whisper to the guy in front of him, that guy used to play for the White Sox.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/1wZZu93VsNA" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-82382052311308619212015-01-19T21:00:00.000-06:002015-01-19T21:00:45.546-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Three<i>[This week's delay was the direct result of Comcast blowing goats and the abysmal internet connectivity at OMD's parents' home. Wordy Ginters took the reins this week, thankfully, and the delay, while painful, should not repeat itself this season.]</i><br />
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<i>Lady Mary works on her post-coital glow, Spratt drops a dime on her sex filled romp in Liverpool to the Dowager, Bates looks to get measured for pinstripes, again, Edith wears out her welcome with the Drewes, Baxter gets an ultimatum, Thomas is lying about something, Cora considers the art consultation business, Bunting shits in the punch bowl, Daisy does her maths.</i><br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> I've never been to England, but I imagine it doesn't get more romantic than Liverpool. Did you see the abs on Gillingham? I'm guessing those abs aren't historically correct. Regardless of his marbled midsection and impossibly full-bodied hair, he's already coming on a little needy, with the creepy "I notice everything you do" shtick and the unannounced arrival at the Russian Tea Party. I don't blame Mary for having second thoughts, but the self-absorbed "who will she end up with?" cliffhanger BS left me cold the first time around, as will its redux.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Screw these dinks.</td></tr>
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> One of the worst days of my life had Liverpool as its lowlight. Travel nightmare on the day they arrested the terrorists in London who had been planning hijackings leading to heading deaf, dumb, and blind to Liverpool in the hopes of catching a ferry to Dublin to be able to eventually catch our flight from Ireland back to the States. Screw Liverpool and all its 'pudlians who couldn't tell me where the goddamn ferry line was.<br />
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As for good ol' Gill's abs, put your goddamn shirt on, you're making me randy with your abs and your lats, Tony Hunkingham. The Ham's got a 21st Century bod in the Roaring 20s. Good on him. You'd think with that package he'd be a little less desperate for the cavalier and anemic Mary Crowley. I'm not looking forward to getting to suffer through Lady Mary's hemming and hawing betwixt two suitors who frankly lack the charisma and draw of Matthew.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I don't know what was more humorous: the idea that Carson could be wheedled into allowing a soldier shot for cowardice to have his name on the Downton War Memorial, or how PUT OUT he was when Thomas asked to use the demon telephone?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The incredulity in his eyes at Thomas possibly needing to use that infernal contraption when writing a letter would surely have done the glacially paced trick was a look of which only Jim Carter may be capable. His look upon having his office door shut behind him was priceless. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just Falking around</td></tr>
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<b>WG:</b> I thoroughly enjoyed the Dowager's stone cold lady balls when she effortlessly deflated Spratt's potentially embarrassing news with an extemporaneous cover story. It's those grace under pressure moments that make her coming undone at memories of Prince Kuragin more meaningful. The only thing that seems to rattle her is naughty sexy dirty blood sugar sex magik. And hey, I just watched Maggie Smith as a younger women in Neil Simon's barely watchable <i>Murder by Death</i> a few weeks ago, she was a total dish. Speaking of movies, isn't the dude who plays Prince Kuragin the same guy who rented Cruise his costume in <i>Eyes Wide Shut</i>? Those scenes at the costume shop were fantastically creepy.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Yes, Rade Serbedzija, who was also in <i>Snatch</i>. As for the young Miss Smith, I've seen none of her earlier work, much to my own chagrin. There's not a good reason for not having seen <i>The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie</i>. The old dame was quick on the draw with the fabricated reason for Mary's having been seen red-assed and sexually exhausted on the curb in Liverpool with her illicit lover. Spratt's inability to spew out his gossip in a way other than stilted was tiresome. Is he supposed to be affecting a Liverpudlian accent?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I always dig it when Fellowes takes the production off Downton and films in London or other locales. Bricker humping Cora's leg up and down the museum corridors and the twilight sidewalks of London was visually striking. Despite the hash, rehashing, and re-purposing of many plot threads, the visuals have always been top notch on <i>Downton Abbey</i>.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The show is definitely at its best when mixing up the locations and showing that they're not just beneficiaries of preying on a flagging real-life manor. I simply cannot divorce Richard E. Grant from his role in <i>Hudson Hawk</i>. It makes it really hard to watch his neutered faux courtship of the married Cora Crowley. Grant was born in Mbabane, Swaziland.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Spotted dick reference? Fellowes throwing a bone to the millions of middle school <i>Downton</i> devotees. The tragedy is that it's a damn fine dessert.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Good old Jules. Never above dipping his pen in the gutter inkwell and dropping a cheeky lewd reference.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Sympathy butters no parsnips.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Nor is it reserved solely for the holy. But Carson could stop being a dick and just put dear cowardly Archie's name on the memorial.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> As much as I'm not looking forward to the Battle Royale among Lady Mary's suitors, I'm even more not looking forward to the idea that Bates is going to end up back on the hook. It's like peeling off a scab. I know you have a hard-on for shot framing, did you notice as he walked forlornly down the hallway after speaking with Anna about their predicament towards episode's end that he was tightly framed in by woodwork and windows with lattices and such? I get the jailhouse blues just remembering on it.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> If Bates ends up back in the clink, that may be the nail in the show's coffin. Good catch on the filmic representation of Bates's looming imprisonment.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> What jumped out at you?<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Cora's fitting with Molyneux was with Edward Molyneux, whose last name was apparently pronounced much more similarly to Rance Mulliniks, not in the fashion that Cora employed while namedropping her hoity-toity French pronunciation. Despite blindness in one eye on account of a war wound, he ran the go-to fashion salon in Paris and later Monte Carlo, Cannes, and London for the upper crust women who wanted to look unpredictably fashionable, at least according to the internet and historian Caroline Milbank.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Thank your for conjuring visions of Rance Mulliniks and fine French fashion in the same paragraph. Have they ever been in such proximity before? Doubtful.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I like that free will as applicable to the boudoir escapades of the rich, famous, and gentrified is nonexistent in the eyes of the Dowager Countess. No, Mary, you were seduced. There is no other explanation. Of course Violet doesn't know that her granddaughter is the possessor of a mercilessly bloodthirsty anus, a fact that would certainly color her beliefs on aristocractic sexual determinism.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> For being relatively pragmatic, the old old old fashioned views on sex from the Dowager are a tad surprising. The only way to know about the fatal anus is to cross the rubicon. To experience it is to perish. Gillingham used up 8 of his 9 lives and half a spit curl surviving that weekend. Little known fact: locking pliers, AKA "vice grips," were invented in 1924. This is obviously related to Mary's anus, I just don't know how to connect the dots properly.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> You are definitely onto something here. Is Tony Gillingham the man to invent them? Guessing so.<br />
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Mrs. Drewe's freak out was dumb. Of course Edith got the old heave-ho. It didn't take long for the helicoptering fairy godmother to get the heave-ho.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Speaking of fashion, I kind of dig Mr. Drewe's threads. The man knows his vests. What he doesn't have is any idea how to execute a plan to get Edith reunited with her daughter. Whatever "plan" he had going, which was essentially visit us into submission, gives half-baked a bad name.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man. Hell, I'm crazy about him. But mastermind schemer? That's not Mr. Drewe.<br />
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I really loved Tom and Mary's fireside confidante scene. "Are we talking about your so-called sketching trip? Because I never believed in that for a moment." It was nice that the two of them could speak freely with one another. Perhaps Branson's lower breeding makes for easier to cut to the chase rather than dance around whilst employing tedious high society conversational conventions that endlessly skirt saying what is actually happening.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> If history has taught us anything, it's that Irish firebrands know all about fucking.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> That cannot be argued. It is historical fact.<br />
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How is it that dipshit Miss Bunting can never bite her tongue and always ends up offending company? Let these Russian dopes mourn their dear dead Tsar without bringing up the policies of the forcibly and violently dethroned.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fellowes portrays Bunting like a hysterically right-wing over-the-top version of Hillary Clinton.\<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>I was driven by her residence just yesterday.<br />
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Baxter's bad influence was Mr. Coyle. I wonder what this says about Brendan Coyle's relationship with Julian Fellowes. I'm assuming this is a tongue-in-cheek nod to back-scenes shenanigans. Brendan Coyle, ever the bad influence on set, mucking up the works with his pranks and smoking of cigarettes.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Excellent catch. No doubt a reference to the seductive ornery manliness of the powerhouse behind Bates.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/AsWR0CTWazQ" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-74372014916180960662015-01-11T22:39:00.000-06:002015-01-11T22:39:12.512-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Season Five, Episode Two<i>Lord Grantham and Carson differ on where to place the war memorial. Violet and Isobel visit Lord Merton. Molesley is given details on Baxter's past. Mary makes Anna take a trip to the prophylactic dispensary. Edith becomes her bastard child's godmother. Murder police come to the Abbey.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> I'll be honest. Jimmy's farewell to Thomas got me a little choked up. You have to give Fellowes due credit for being able to gain audience sympathy for a character who should by all means be entirely unlikable. Of course it takes five minutes for him to turn heel again and poison Molesley's relationship with Baxter--at least temporarily.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Fellowes is adroit with the emotional manipulation, making it easy to flip-flop from disgust to delight on characters. He's done that before with Thomas. I remember thinking he was almost human for a few scant seconds when he was slinking around the battlefields during WWI. In fact, Fellowes has complicated most of the cast. It's what makes <i>Downton</i> worthwhile. That scene revealed some pro acting chops from Rob James-Collier.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> This whole war memorial subplot is thoroughly uninteresting this week. Shall we skip the nonsense?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Death to the Cricket pitch.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Molesley is all the footmen.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> When Carson wants to bust balls, best keep your head down. Poor Molesley just asks for it time and again. Walking around with his dunce hat, his hair dye, and his heart on his sleeve. Footmens beats the shit out of asphalt tamper.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Back to uninteresting subplots, Robert's bristling at the concept of having a radio in the house despite Rose's protestations was pretty dull. The only good part of the whole sequence was Robert's assertion that the hadn't previously ruled on the matter. I suppose the reflexivity of people sitting around a box getting dumber is amusing, too.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fear and disdain for new technology is a go to knee-slapper for <i>Downton Abbey</i>. Carson confronting a toaster for the first time a few seasons back reminded me of the "dawn of man" scene from <i>2001</i>.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Anna fetching the contraception for Lady Mary was awkward. Obviously, it serves a greater purpose--not unlike the wireless subplot which was helping to show the days of great change--as why should anyone get to judge another for what they do in their private sexy lives. That old bat in the apothecary--or wherever she went--can shove her abstinence up her prude ass.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> If abstinence is the answer, I don't want to know the question. And yes, fuck that nonsense. The old bat surely sees a river of dripping, oozing, pus-filled, and morally obtuse maladies every day. No sense in getting all churchy about contraception. Jesus Christ, she wasn't working at a pharma in Ireland.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Miss Bunting won't go away, will she? I suppose it's best to have Tom rediscover the revolutionary within, but Bunting is a bit tedious.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fellowes can't help himself, can he? The "progressives" have to be irritating shits in some way. At least she has the social skills to steer clear of Rose's ham-fisted dinner invite. Kind of looking forward to Tom and Grantham crossing swords. Sure seems like they're setting up a politically based fall-out.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Simon Bricker seemed inordinately interested in Cora. Will this be a mini-trial on their union, much like Robert's with the war widow maid, Jane? More importantly, how will Bricker's possible affection toward Cora affect his attempt to piece together da Vinci's machine making alchemy possible and his plan for world domination. But in the meantime, I guess he needs to stop flirting with Isis. What a dunce Robert is.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Bricker is definitely running game on Cora. And why not? You remember Elizabeth McGovern from the Penn/Cage WWII nostalgia piece <i>Racing With The Moon</i>? She is still wholesome and fine. Robert is a dunce. His comfortable fat ass deserves a kick. Everyone got all horny about James Gandolfini parlaying his girth into a character trait for Tony Soprano; same props to Hugh Bonneville for his aristocratic flab. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I've not seen <i>Racing With The Moon</i>. I'm ashamed of myself. Hugh's aristoflab is spot on.<br />
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Baxter refusing to give anyone the whole story regarding her history in thievery is getting a bit ridiculous. Spill, woman.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Care to speculate? I'll go first: she needed the jewels to pay for labiaplasty.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Maybe vaginal enlargement surgery? Too tight. Or she needed the dough for contact lenses that gave her cat eyes.<br />
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Fellowes does deserve credit for generating two suitors for Mary who seem genuinely interesting. Blake is an able foil for Mary, which she probably needs.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> That stuck me as presumptuous on Mary's part. I wish Blake would have shut her down. What happens if Gillingham perishes from F2FA? Best to keep a second teamer warmed up on the sidelines.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Anyone who watches the show must know that the chances of Gillingham dying after a few rounds of premarital sodomy are alarmingly high.<br />
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And in comes Sergeant Willis. The death of Mr. Green won't go away, and now there's a witness. I guess this plot line will never be over.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I don't know if I want to go back there either. Two episodes in and the Bateses are apparently getting the Job treatment again.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/g_SWP3qI7Rg" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-3215259146620948372015-01-04T22:36:00.001-06:002015-01-04T22:36:33.815-06:00Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Series Five, Episode One<i>Robert and Cora celebrate their anniversary. Carson is selected to chair the War Memorial Committee over Lord Grantham. Baxter's past comes to the fore. Molesley tries out a magical hair treatment. James's former employer comes clawing back into his life. Tony Gillingham makes advances in the umpteenth courtship of Lady Mary. Violet runs interference on Lord Merton and Isobel's burgeoning friendship. Edith carelessly disposes of a book in a tiff.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> So we pick up now in February of 1924. Six months have passed since last we glimpsed a new installment of <i>Downton</i>, and last year's Christmas Special marked a jump ahead of a year from where the proper fourth season left off. I'm no baby expert, but Marigold--bringing the percentage of female characters named after flowers to what seems like 75%--seems bigger than a child who should be around one year of age.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Farm living will do that to a toddler. The chores. Fresh air.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Ramsay MacDonald's reign as Prime Minister does not last long, as I'd imagine we'll find out this season. While Lord Grantham is right to be concerned about the place of the title-holding elite in 20th Century England, MacDonald's Labour Party is ousted after a scant nine months, so his concerns about MacDonald will largely have to wait until the General Election of 1929. Given how eager Fellowes is to advance the time-line of the show--bearing in mind that we're now twelve years down the road from where the series started--that will probably be sooner than one would normally expect.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> A raging hard-on for class structure and libertarianism is certainly Fellowes milieu. Not surprising he's eager to flash forward to the uncertain upper crust terrain of pre-WWII.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Good ol' Donk. An apropos sobriquet given the not infrequent occasions in which he makes an ass of himself, though little Sybil could hardly know of his repeated bunglings of the fortunes of the estate or how much he drags his feet in childlike protestations against progress.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I didn't know a nick-name could be big enough to expertly sum up Lord Grantham and Mike Moustakas at the same time.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Yet here we are.<br />
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How dense is Mrs. Drewe? Given the fact that Lady Edith visits with alarming frequency, it had to have occurred to her that the child is Edith's. I mean I'd let Mr. Drewe throw on his fire brigade gear and chase me around a burning barn, but I'm not gentryfolk. "Don't be daft" indeed. <br />
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<b>WG:</b> You raise an excellent point. Where the hell do they get that awesome fire brigade gear? You don't go running around trailing sand from your bucket unless those helmets are shined and the brigade jacket buttons are gleaming. Can't go putting out fires looking like a ruffian. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> You need to impress the fire with your flashy attire. That's Fire Brigading 101.<br />
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"He just wants what all men want." "Oh, don't be ridiculous." The subtext there is F2FA, right? Given Fellowes's predilection for getting his characters' asses in trouble--non-figuratively speaking--I think Isobel's reading of the lay of the land is spot on. Lord Merton wants a "companion," and in Fellowes's world, we can only assume that going Turkish would be in Isobel's future, at least if Violet were not so meddlesome.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Delicious. I sensed F2FA would be on the menu.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I have to say, I don't like the cut of Mrs. Wigan's jib. While I have no issue with the selection of Carson to chair the War Memorial Committee, she sure dealt with Carson in a less than desirable manner, as she was rather demanding, wasting nary a breath between committee business and instructing her hopeful committee chairman how to best prepare her tea.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmOCiSe3rhnedLdjGLaE_qxrs6uf_gD9DIMEFQRFxkK_Xm1j3HXF7lSMFBdCg7TDyy0ZrYqw1-GR_g_6pPhJya_QVZf1Ax0zn6z_6wiM97HafHxScvj2fGzpzWjfoDCFZWhH_bP7xjpt8/s1600/boomerang-movie-poster-1992-1020470777.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmOCiSe3rhnedLdjGLaE_qxrs6uf_gD9DIMEFQRFxkK_Xm1j3HXF7lSMFBdCg7TDyy0ZrYqw1-GR_g_6pPhJya_QVZf1Ax0zn6z_6wiM97HafHxScvj2fGzpzWjfoDCFZWhH_bP7xjpt8/s1600/boomerang-movie-poster-1992-1020470777.jpg" height="400" width="281" /></a><b>WG:</b> The commoners be getting uppity. We get it Fellowes.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Must Lord Grantham make so much of each incremental neutering? He gets butthurt over every perceived slight, as if not being the first choice for the chair of every committee is something at which to take umbrage. Has there ever been a character in anything so beset upon by the simple passing of time?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> He does seem spectacularly unable to exist outside of that world. Just when I feel the bitter bile towards Grantham rise in my throat, that bastard Fellowes will go and make him do something valorous, or failing that, decent. Watch. He'll go from pompous ass to sensible sympathetic like a boomerang.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Viscountess Gillingham. Stateside, we'd have no reason to know this, but Viscount is a step down from an Earl, which is obviously what Matthew was in line to be before his run-in with a lorry. He seems to be a fine chap, but it's probably safe to assume he's got a nasty secret. My guess is that he's a foot fetishist. Maybe he can only get off if balloons are popping.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> You're voting looner? I'll go with crushing. Hear me now, Mary will take him on top of a tamworth piglet before the curtain closes on the Christmas special.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Bold and precise, like everything nice.<br />
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Daisy can't do her maths. What with her fear of electricity, it's hard to imagine why she can't get a grasp on elementary mathematics. At least the dimness of Daisy gave Carson yet another reason to champion his classist beliefs in trying to keep the proles in their place.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> "Math is hard." - Barbie<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> When Molesley was applying that horrifying amalgamation of tar, caviar, and black oil from <i>The X-Files</i> and looked in the mirror, he was the spitting image of my archenemy Ray Milland.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Why don't they just have poor old Molesley wander around in a dunce hat? Fuck Ray Milland.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Fuck Ray Milland, indeed. There was a freshfaced kid sitting at the servants' table beside Molesley. I'm assuming his position is errand boy. Maybe Thomas's errand boy.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I've got big hopes for that kid.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Maybe he'll take on the role of Peanut in <i>The Wire</i>.<br />
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Mr. Spratt really is a piece of work. Shitbird won't serve a doctor and a Major?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Spratt might be my favorite character. Doesn't say a word. Looks like he's got a plum in his mouth.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It can hardly be classified as surprising that Mary wants to buck tradition and get to know her suitor biblically. Hopefully for Gillingham's sake he's not so well endowed as to scare her off. It's also in his best interest that he doesn't have an urgent need to encroach upon Lady Mary's alternate entrance, as we all know how that ends up for the too adventurous. Where do you think they'll head on the illicit sexcapade? My guess is Germany, where they see Gregson's head on a pike.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Gregson can't be dead. I fully expect to see him wearing a brownshirt and intimidating slavs and unionists, or perhaps submitting scripts to Leni Riefenstahl. I'd like to see Mary and Gillingham fucking the days away on a beach in Jamaica.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Baxter the jail bird. I'm surprised that she served time, though for the poor such property crimes as theft were enough to get them thrown in the clink. I'm curious as to what the circumstances behind Baxter's thieving were. Surely Fellowes will shine a light upon it in the next few episodes.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Seemed like a pretty harsh penalty. Baxter ain't all bad.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> That's how the poors got done, though. Thankfully Thomas is no longer able to lord the bit of her backstory over her, though he surely has another object upon whom to heap his scorn. I loved Thomas getting caught in his bullshit. What a dickhole.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Still hoping that a blue-haired Molesley touches him up with a cricket bat. Of course he saved his crooked ass by hoisting Edith out of the flames. Like the fabled phoenix. Thomas is back in Lady Grantham's good graces.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Bates's inquisition on the subject of Tony's valet seems like he might have been opening himself up to a bit too much exposure. Obviously Tony knows, though I don't think Bates knows this.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> What the hell is he trying to accomplish? Asking questions seems reckless. When Bates threw that leg brace into the bog a few seasons back, he gave away a core part of himself. The part that smelled like beef jerky and authenticity and manliness. And common sense and wits. He ain't the same.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Let's pour one out for John Bates.<br />
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So Lady Anstruther is a randy bird. Glad to be rid of her dead husband, so as to give her cause to travel the countryside preying on the presumed slew of pretty-boy footmen that have dispersed amongst the servants' quarters of many a country estate. I'm sure this was not the first occasion in which she has been thrown to a state of coitus interruptus by the hands of a house fire. The pheromones that pour out of her surely turn everyone on their heads. Maybe James can screw his way out of a sacking.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm certain that her ravenous red hot vagina had a significant role in the fire that took place at episode's end. The book carelessly tossed by a grieving Edith was merely tinder.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'm glad Tom got to tell Robert that he'd not shtupped Miss Bunting. That bit of business between them passed for far too much time without clarification, at least for Branson's sake.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Bunting was not shtuppped. Full stop. I never understood Branson's reluctance to reveal that fact to Grantham either. It bothers me that Fellowes has made Bunting more irritating than plucky.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Such is his want as his sympathies lie a bit to heavily in the camp of the aristocracy.<br />
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Jesus Christ, Edith. Get your shit pulled together. I know the lack of closure on Gregson has to be eating at you, but arson by way of carelessness is no good for anyone. To his Lordship's dressing room with you.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Report to Dad's closet and think about what you've done.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Tom and Robert channeling their inner <i>Backdraft</i> was nice, but I'll be damned if that wasn't a weak-ass hose.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I found the idea that there were only TWO loaded sand buckets equally galling.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The depression and social upheaval of the 20th Century didn't sap the gentry of their power. It was their poor preparation for fire prevention/fighting.<br />
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So this is a bit ridiculous, but I was wondering how everyone seemed to be walking around as though the weather were totally pleasant in February in the UK. My suspicion was validated when I decided to look up the weather across the UK in February of 1924. Aside from a warm first week--and this episode is meant to take place in the second week of February--it would have been on the cold side of things, despite the fact that no one was dressed for it. The weather on the night of the fire would have presumably been in the teens, as overnight lows on the 15th and 17th in Wales, southwest of Yorkshire, reached single-digits, Fahrenheit. No one looked nearly cold enough when Edith's dumb ass tried to burn down the Abbey.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Awesome. Cue "Stone Cold" by Rainbow or "She's So Cold" by the Stones.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/8WukfC-6Gpc" width="640"></iframe>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-88152216558616664402014-10-27T19:06:00.003-05:002014-10-27T19:06:57.165-05:00Wordy Old Men on Boardwalk Empire: Season Five, Episode Eight "Eldorado"<i>"Eldorado," the series finale of the wonderful </i>Boardwalk Empire<i> was penned by creator Terence Winter and executive producer and Winter's right hand Howard Korder. The fantastic Tim Van Patten fittingly directed the last episode.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> With no benefit of the opening credits to which we have all become accustomed, we open on Nucky--stripped down, both figuratively and literally--wading into the ocean and swimming against the tide. The tide, of course, brought him his fortune. The oceanfront brought people and their money to Atlantic City, and to its shores came the booze to keep America drunk through the Prohibition. Obviously, the tide also represents the force of Nucky's past--his actions, their consequences--and as he later relates to Eli, he is unable to tell how far is far enough to never come back. The weight of a lifetime's worth of actions in pursuit of wealth and power cannot be counterbalanced. A quiet shot starting with the symbol of his material empire--clothing, shoes, cigarette case, lighter, and iconic hat from the credits, all clearly a nod to what we didn't get to start the episode--in the sand, stripped from his body just as his empire had just been wrested from his grip, and the man adrift attempts to head against the grand force of the ocean. Loaded, powerful opening shot, complete with underlying music that strangely made me think of the introductory measures of the <i>Star Trek: The Next Generation</i> theme, until it took its minor turn.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Buscemi swimming naked against the tide. A nimble remix of the traditional opening credits, and a pretty apt coda for the series in general. Plus, Buscemi shirtless. Love it when Winter throws a bone to the ladies.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> After Nucky's insistence that he could be of use to Commodore Kaestner, his palpable disgust at the Commodore's delight in having young girls recite Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's "The Secrets of the Sea" to him. "Ah! what pleasant visions haunt me / As I gaze upon the sea! / All the old romantic legends, / All my dream, come back to me." After some cursory re-education on the subject of Longfellow, his first wife died after a miscarriage when he was just 28 years old, and it came while they were travelling abroad in a year-long voyage through Europe all for the purpose of furthering his career, so there are cursory similarities between the two men. While I cannot speak with certainty, I do not know that Longfellow procured underage tail for Josiah Quincy III, the man who brought Longfellow to Harvard.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Don't fret, historians and English scholars alike have wrestled with the dark rumors of Longfellow's role in 19th century sex trafficking for decades. The theory that dactylic hexameter is the metre of the sexually deviant becomes more accepted each day. Even here in stodgy old Nebraska.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Definitely perv meter.<br />
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Margaret turning stock-manipulating mastermind, outwitting and playing Kennedy in the process, was beautiful. She even managed to rebuff his advances while securing him as a client. Cagey.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Winter didn't spend much time constructing the female characters on the show, but he rebounded nicely with the way he wrapped up Margaret's thread. I especially loved the line she stuck on Kennedy, "Imagine all that you want in life and then picture yourself in a dress." Rumor has it that Winter and Scorcese are developing a prequel to <i>The Wolf of Wall Street</i> based on Margaret's ability to get filthy rich on morally questionable German stock positions during WWII. Jonah Hill co-stars as a Young Sergeant Schultz.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> While I'd absolutely pay hard-earned cash to see that, my real desire is still to see Nelson and Eli hold down the fort in Cicero during the seven years we missed. I'd also like to state that I really wish I had the time to make that <i>Wolf o' Wall Street</i> artwork happen, but that would take me forever.<br />
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The last time we see Mabel, she is unable to tell Nucky that he doesn't disappoint her immediately after having a miscarriage.
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<b>WG:</b> Kind of a bad day for Nucky, wasn't it? Punched Father? Check. Father points shotgun at his head? Check. Wife has miscarriage? Check. Fired from job? Check. Asked to aid and abet pedophile in return for career advancement? Check. Flat tire? Check. Forgot to pay cable bill and service disconnected? Check. With the broad strokes on Nucky's backstory finally all filled in, is it enough to make Nucky a sympathetic character? I don't know.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Good question. I think he clearly wants to repent but doesn't have the mechanism by which to make that happen. As he eventually finds out in a very hard and final way, money is not the answer to every question, though it's the best answer he knows.<br />
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Capone's scene with his son does a nice job of re-humanizing him. It's been a long time, and Stephen Graham has been relegated to playing the brazen, larger-than-life caricature of Capone for the past couple seasons, but there has always been a striking dichotomous nature to Capone on the series, and with his contemplative last shot in the back of the car before he puts on his game face, it's nice to see Winter, Korder, and Van Patten bringing this part of Capone back to the fore.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Loved it. These types of pro moves are why I loved the show so much. How tricky would it be to write a show based on these larger than life historical figures? The mobster genre has been done to death. <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> was able to bring a fresh angle to the genre by having the balls to meander a little, and show these criminal icons as human from time to time. Sure, they were badasses, and brash, and cartoonish many times too, but taken all together it made for a sweet little nut roll. Jesus, Capone on the courthouse steps aping John Barrymore? Beautiful.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Weird note that only I would care about: as Margaret is walking into the open apartment in the Eldorado (its name having obvious significance, of course), the radio broadcast is talking about the market roller coaster ride and then breaks into talking about Jim Weaver and the Yankees having beaten the Philadelphia A's 3 - 2. Weaver faced the A's once in a Yankees uniform and the Yankees lost 16 - 4.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Christ, what a couple of degenerates. I immediately paused the show and spent 15 minutes on baseball-reference searching for said game. I was kind of bummed I didn't find one that matched that score from 1931. I wonder what the significance was? You think someone on the production team was related to Jim Weaver or something? You notice that Yankee line-up in 1931? Ruth (+218 OPS with a .495 OBP). Gehrig. Chapman. And they finished 13.5 games back in 2nd place. To think our beloved Kansas City Royals will soon be taking their rightful place alongside past World Series champions, a notch above has been teams like the '31 Yankees, seems just.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I sure fucking hope that happens. I'm concerned now. Zero wiggle room for the Royals (who were responsible for the delay in this post, of course).<br />
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The framing in the opening of that scene was nice. Nucky started on the opposite side of the divided floor, a gray area if you will. He steps across the line on the floor and to the checkered floor, presumably a world that's more black-and-white. Coming over to Margaret's world, meaning to leave his old life behind, they dance, but they're ripped from the momentary fantasy by a happy couple looking at the suite. Their past is obviously too complex to leave behind. He's left to look at the ground, the other world into which he is trying to make the transition, and cannot help but feel out of place. Their silence speaks volumes.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Nice catch. I'm convinced repeated viewings will be rewarded, especially for things like this. Fundamentals guaranteed to make film buffs weak in the groin.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I liked that there was just enough vagueness surrounding who they were killing to lead one to believe that maybe Nucky was going to get offed. A sly misdirect from Van Patten with the shot over the shoulder of two men wearing hats, seemingly walking together. Then he meets The Future. Into the darkness he heads, and inside he finds the television, the device that would change the world forever, highlighting an amusing reflexivity in that his story is being told on a device that shows him that he's a misplaced relic an antique ready to be left in the past.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Probably my favorite scene of the season.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Nucky's father puts the shotgun to Nucky's head in their kerfuffle. The past that he's trying to leave behind, of course, will not let that happen.<br />
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It's interesting that Nucky, in his quest to break good, goes farther than he ever had as a kid in swimming against the tide. The power of the life he yearned for was always greater than his will to do good. The goodbye between Nucky and Eli is bittersweet. Of course, Nucky doesn't know why this is actually their farewell. Both men are torn down, but at least Eli, whose actions, at least of late, were borne out of necessity, may have a shot at a future and a fresh shave. Brother speeders / Let's Rehearse / All together / "Good morning Nurse!" / Burma Shave.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Ahem. I think I called my shot by predicting Eli would shave in our last recap.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Indeed you did.<br />
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Narcisse? Done.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> And a pretty spectacular death scene by Jeffrey Wright. That was gratifying. The extended ongoing sermon/rhetoric he was spinning prior to his demise fit just as nicely as the kids reciting Longfellow for the Commodore.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Nucky's visit to Gillian in the nut house is loaded with double-meanings and subtext. His insistence that "the past is past" shows that he still doesn't know that he can't outrun his. When she gets up after he tries in his own way to get her to absolve him for misdeeds for which absolution are not possible, the true horror of what she's undergone is obvious. Thankfully we don't get to see the butchery up close. Jesus, Dr. Cotton was a fucking lunatic. He should've been in the loony bin himself.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> That was a powerful scene for me. Jesus. So rare for Nucky to show emotion. And he should have. If he wouldn't have steered Gillian to the Commodore, maybe she wouldn't have been so looney tunes. Gillian was just as dangerous as the gangsters, maybe even more so. Does she ever get out? Doubtful.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> She's surely missing the bulk of her innards if she does make it out. I think it would take a fire to spring her. It wouldn't be a release on account of her being a good girl.<br />
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Nucky gets into his old quarters at the club, sees the postcard young Mabel sent him, and gets another call requesting his presence at the Ritz. The past is going nowhere.<br />
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"Mrs. Thompson said you want to be good. But you don't know how." That's the key to this whole show, isn't it? As he leaves Gillian on the boardwalk to answer the Commodore's call, a call to relieve him of his duties, only really to tear him down and have him do his bidding and cater to his every depraved whim. To get the Sheriff gig, he has to deliver Gillian, and in delivering her, he promises to take care of her. A loathsome act. Vile. Wretched in his own eyes, yet in the pursuit of power and wealth, he swallows that bitter pill.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Absolutely the foundation the show was built on. He was willing to debase himself and others for wealth and power. And he never stopped. Of course he had to die in the end.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Back in the present, Nucky sees Neptune on the billboard atop the boardwalk, and then Princeton college boys--serving both as symbols of the privilege he never had and the surrogate son that he murdered in cold blood--confront him and one begins reciting Robert Service's poem "The Spell of the Yukon." "I wanted the gold, and I sought it; / I scrabbled and mucked like a slave. / Was it famine or scurvy--I fought it. / I wanted the gold, and I got it-- / Came out with a fortune last fall,-- / Yet somehow life's not what I thought it, / And somehow the gold isn't all." Setting aside the extreme improbability of this happening in the real world, the poem is clearly on the nose.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> And I lapped it up nonetheless.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Same here.<br />
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Back to the past, he weighs his options. Present, Tommy reveals himself. Past, he assures Gillian he'll look after her. Present, he pays for his misdeeds. IRS agents nab Tommy after the damage is done. Young Nucky grabs the coin in the water. His symbolic fate was sealed from jump street.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Loved that final shot. Young Nucky floating innocently in the sea, snatching the coin. Some Cormac McCarthy type shit going on there. The simple act of playing footsie with greed sets in motion all kinds of horrible dominoes we can barely comprehend. Also nice homage to Nirvana's <i>Nevermind</i> album cover.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Thankfully no baby dick.<br />
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It feels like there's a lot still to talk about. I think it makes sense (to me at least) to flip the controls over to you here. What are your overall feelings about this all coming to an end?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> For me, <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> is in a trinity of all-time great serial dramas along with <i>The Wire</i> and <i>Deadwood</i>. It didn't have the breathless mayhem and corkscrew plot action of <i>Breaking Bad</i>. It's not as sexy as <i>Mad Men</i>. Not as balls out fun as <i>The Sopranos</i>.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>I don't know where I'd put it. I'd say the artistry is on a level that I don't know another show has ever reached. I'd still defer to someone championing <i>The Wire </i>or <i>Deadwood</i>. I say without hesitation that I prefer it to any of the others mentioned, though I'd certainly have to add a handful of hour-longs to the mix, namely <i>Justified</i>, <i>Terriers</i>, <i>Carnivale</i>, <i>Friday Night Lights</i> and <i>Veronica Mars</i>, not to mention shows currently in production that have to be considered as potential contenders for such categorization like <i>Broadchurch</i>, <i>Hannibal</i>, <i>Masters of Sex</i>, and <i>True Detective</i>. Yes, I know I didn't list <i>Game of Thrones</i>, anyone lobbying for its inclusion in this list can start their own fucking blog.<br />
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<b>WG: </b>I don't think there has been a more cinematic show on television. Beautiful to look at. Lots of critics bag on <i>Boardwalk</i> for the multitude of threads and plots that moved too slow. To them I say: Bah. I hope there is always room for series that take their time. That allow productions to have a vision and follow it through, if nothing else for the entertainment derived from watching badass craftsmen do what they do.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I've seen every episode of the last three seasons at least twice, many of them more than that. The painstaking attention to detail, the incredible production design, the symbolism that runs rampant through each episode, hell, the fucking shot framing, all of it sets the show apart. I think nearly all of the criticism comes from people who either didn't find Nucky compelling enough or worse from people who were viewing each episode as its own thing, which a show like <i>Boardwalk Empire </i>was never going to be able to withstand as it is so serialized as to render such criticism pointless.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'll definitely be watching the series again. I think it's hard to grasp the towering scale and scope of what Winter created, especially fresh off a satisfying final episode that managed to finish some telegraphed final touches without being too hokey. <i>Boardwalk Empire</i>, it was good to know ye. I'll be seeing you again.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Indeed. We'll miss you, Nucky, Nelson, Margaret, Eli, Chalky, et al, but we'll probably rewatch you over and over.<br />
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<object height="360" width="640"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/v/p5kcBxL7-qI?hl=en_US&version=3"></param>
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> With most of the secondary plot lines having resolved themselves or come back to the central arc, we get a pretty damn streamlined episode this week. Winter, Korder, & Co. made the efficacious move to advance the war between the Mustache Petes and the Young Turks--it's a goddamn shame they've not been using these names, by the way--by way of montage and press clippings to its conclusion. While the denouement for Nucky is still a week away, the war to overthrow Maranzano is reaching its own denouement this week, thankfully.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Surprised Timmy Van Patton wasn't manning the helm this episode. Surely he'll get the call in next week's finale. You suffering from some Maranzano fatigue? That's been fixed. His character arc seemed a little tacked on. I find the role of Torrio much more interesting.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'd like to think that Nucky's extinguished cigarette in a glass of Bacardi is a grander statement upon the standing of rum amongst other almost universally superior liquors. Fuck that bat. Fuck rum.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Fuck that bat. Fuck rum. Also a goddamn shame that nomenclature hasn't crept its way into the script.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The actress they got to play young Gillian did a shockingly good job of channeling Gretchen Mol's take on Gillian. Their casting in the origins timeline is really quite breathtaking.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Look, this show is a fucking gem. All facets. Casting has been outstanding all the way around, with the most counter-intuitive home run being Buscemi as the lead. Only one episode left. I don't know if there has been a prettier show to watch. The writing is top notch, too. It's not sexy, it's just fucking solid. Speaking of the origins actors, I just realized the lady who plays Young Nuck's wife, also plays a wife on <i>The Knick</i>. On that show, she is on the receiving end of some rather drastic cutting edge for the time psychological assistance via John Hodgman. It's deviant, brilliant, and shocking at the same time.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I've still got the entirety of <i>The Knick</i> sitting on the DVR unwatched for no good reason other than not really knowing what it is. I should rectify that.<br />
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Nucky is never served well by indulging in impatience. The move to grab Bennie Siegel seems at first to be a way in which Nucky might be able to swing some momentum his way. So much for that. Willie getting kidnapped erased that advantage. Of course, Nucky should have been playing chess and figuring Luciano and Lansky had a counter to his move.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I couldn't fathom how the kidnapping was going to work out in Nuck's favor. When Siegel queered the hand-off and ultimately painted Nucky in the corner, it just underlined, for the millionth time, that Nuck is a stranger in a strange land. Not born of the silver spoon, and not tough enough to roll with the real gangsters, it appears his only remaining moves are murder for hire and insider trading.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> The smoke ring settling in over Willie's crown while Lucky was on the phone arranging for the meet with Nucky was a nice touch.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm glad you mentioned that. Was it not badass?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> So what in the hell is going on with Mabel? Is it merely her fear of what dear Enoch is going to become, or is something more at play here? She's scared of something, according to Gillian, and her distractions and midnight pie-making seem to allude to her later suicide. Somehow I doubt it's merely manic-depression given the tenor of everything that has preceded this.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The Big C? Depression? I'm telling you, the parallel's between Maya Kazan's character on <i>The Knick</i> and <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> are many. The two shows could share their psych ward sets.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I guess Sheriff Lindsay drew the line at the umpteenth adolescent girl returned to her parents, services rendered/agreement terminated. Charitable acts. "Schooling them in the domestic arts." Jesus, Leandor could have represented Michael Jackson astonishingly well.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> That shit was grim. Terence Winter isn't painting a pretty picture of those in power, is he? Not too hard to read that as a grand point of the show: revealing the seamy underbelly of the "American Way."<b><i> </i></b>Not that pedophilia is the American Way, though it does seem to rear its head with disturbing frequency. <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> tends to make a mockery of the kind of down-home bromides that are plastered on the billboards behind Eli as he leaves his disheveled street meeting with Willie. In other words, hard work, honesty, free enterprise, and democracy are much easier to swallow in theory than in practice.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Indeed. Power corrupts and the most corrupt were probably sexual deviants from the get-go.<br />
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Mickey finally got what he wanted. Then I got what I wanted. He was always such an annoying shitheel. Unfortunately, the totally badass Arquimedes went down too. I'd have loved to see one last ear trophy.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Archie was another in a long line of unfortunate deaths on the show. Spin off? Archie and Gillian open a restaurant specializing in Cuban sandwiches and erotic massage. Archie's catch phrase? Shut you fuck up! I get it though, Nucky is isolated down to the last drop. Mickey was a classic shitheel, he lived so much longer than I ever thought he would, I was kind of hoping he'd be the last man standing. We also haven't seen the last of that creepy young buck who may or may not be Darmody Jr., have we?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Can't imagine that we have.<br />
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I liked the fake out from D'Angelo meeting with the federal judge to the IRS agents coming into Maranzano's office. I totally thought Nucky was screwed until they started stabbing Maranzano. Glad Eli was the trigger man if for no other reason than that it means the brothers Thompson might be riding again, if for ever so brief a time.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> So much stabbing.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Torrio can't be too excited about being thanked for his help and then dismissed. Of course he's a eunuch at this point, but still.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Another cool scene. When Lansky and Luciano rebuffed his idea to arrange the "one big family" mob meeting, Bugsy and a gaggle of party people came bubbling in ready to celebrate. A deep focus shot showed old man Torrio standing solo on one side of a pillar, and the new turks cutting a rug on the other side. The chasm between old and new couldn't have been any chasmier.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Joe's curiosity about watching someone die would seem to have a larger purpose. I don't think it's as easy as him being the person in whom Nucky sees his younger self. I still don't know what his endgame would be if he were Jimmy's son, but it seems like it has to bring the story full circle, doesn't it?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Absolutely. He's cooking up something. Mustering. Pro tip: It's in the eyes. Mustering is always in the eyes.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Take note of that pearl, kiddos.<br />
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What gets lost in the shuffle of all this is that Nucky still has the Mayflower play in place. If we've learned anything during <i>Boardwalk Empire</i>'s five seasons, it is that no scene is wasted. Clearly this angle must come into play in the finale. Can he parlay that into showing that he still has value to Lucky and Meyer? Is it enough to keep Nucky alive?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'll be astounded if he lives. If Winter had any balls, he'd end this one ambiguously just like he and Chase did on <i>The Sopranos</i>. MAYBE, a different Journey tune with an abrupt fade to black. "Feeling That Way/Anytime."<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> It should be noted that Meyer isn't exactly pumped to hand over Atlantic City to Pinky. Mightn't this play into Nucky getting a reprieve from them? After all, Meyer is the calm, measured one of the two. All that character work is unlikely to be for naught.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQS729P6mmC-Aea7V1Hh9nZXbkg99bNN31n-h6T-AR-ROpyPEf0ySxuKGzDLN8cwNNf9klyTRb6NWnzolSKzNpvK_-leJmcqiSkY7boum064U6gompOztsln-NPN9qPAqjIrYLzklHlas/s1600/radio+birdman+lp2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQS729P6mmC-Aea7V1Hh9nZXbkg99bNN31n-h6T-AR-ROpyPEf0ySxuKGzDLN8cwNNf9klyTRb6NWnzolSKzNpvK_-leJmcqiSkY7boum064U6gompOztsln-NPN9qPAqjIrYLzklHlas/s1600/radio+birdman+lp2.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a><b>WG: </b> They're telegraphing Pinky and wide-eyed virtuous milquetoast maybe Darmody Jr. pretty hard. I'd have to agree with you.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> There were some surprises in Gillian's letter. I honestly thought that Nucky hand-delivered her to the Commodore, but it surely appears as though she made the decision on her own, though she shouldn't be held responsible for such decisions. Will helping Gillian be the redemptive salve for which he has been longing all season long?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm eager to see how that connection gets made. Their was a montage scene that worked, so fuck off Trey Stone and Matt Parker. You fucking cowards. Bush takes us to war in Iraq for reasons still unclear to me, and you make a movie that picks on Alec Baldwin and Sean Penn? Goddamn it. Ummn. Where was I? Oh yeah, that montage was a great way to encapsulate Gillian's descent in the maelstrom - - which also happens to be a great Radio Birdman song.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> While I hesitate to make predictions in general, this is the last Wordy Old Men on <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> before the series finale. Do you have any?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Nucky dies from a cleaver to the head. Eli shaves. Gillian seduces and kills her psychologist. Royals in 4.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> All of that would be wodnerful. I'm thinking Meyer convinces Lucky to keep Nucky in place in Atlantic City only to have Joe off him as revenge for Jimmy's murder. Oh, and Dr. Giggles has gutted Gillian, who is a shell of her letter-writing self and basically a vegetable, because it's far too late for Nucky to have rescued her.<br />
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<object height="360" width="480"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/v/H0RFpXrPv2g?hl=en_US&version=3"></param>
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<embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/H0RFpXrPv2g?hl=en_US&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="360" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-55136903156907609672014-10-13T00:36:00.002-05:002014-10-13T00:36:54.790-05:00Wordy Old Men on Boardwalk Empire: Season Five, Episode Six "Devil You Know"<i>This week's antepenultimate episode penned by Howard Korder and directed by Jeremy Podeswa features a couple of conclusions to character arcs in a very </i>Boardwalk Empire<i> kind of way.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> Anyone wondering how so many storylines were going to get wrapped up in just six episodes got some answers tonight. And all this happened while Nucky was playing hooky and Chalky moved all of maybe four feet.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> It began on the gallop with Chalky at the Harlem Cathouse. Kind of unusual for <i>Boardwalk</i> to get rolling so quickly. I made a mental note that fucking around was apparently not going to be tolerated.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> We pick back up with Daughter Maitland, Chalky, and Althea, right where last week left off. Clearly Althea is Chalky's. It must have been a rough seven years for Daughter, as her gift went without professional implementation thanks to being blackballed by Narcisse.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Hey, I get the pushback against those who fetishize vinyl culture. The sound is warm. The cover art was integral to the experience. You have to listen to the whole damn album. I know, I know. But I'll be damned if Daughter's voice didn't sound fantastic coming out of that vintage turntable. Even better was seeing it saw Chalky in half.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Indeed. The look on his face was tragic.<br />
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In the flashback, we have perhaps the first inkling that Mabel may be a bit moody, as she's up in the middle of the night making pies. She seemed to have just a slight undercurrent of emotional fragility that she'd then underplay by speaking in that faux Southern accent.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Homage to Crispin Glover in <i>Wild at Heart</i>. "I'm making sandwiches!"<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> While we're in pre-WWI Atlantic City, we may as well talk about Sheriff Lindsay delivering young girls to the Commodore with their mother's in reluctant tow. The look on that mother's face. What the fuck was she thinking? And how the hell does Sheriff Lindsay sleep at night?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> On piles of memory-numbing cash. You can't be a cog in the cynical wonderland that is Atlantic City without viewing those not in on the take as less than human.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> As for Gillian, apparently she was always a fucking handful. <i>Around the World in 72 Days</i>. This is where Nellie Bly comes into Nucky and Gillian's story. Funny since she also did that expose on the treatment of the patients at the Women's Lunatics Asylum on Blackwell's Island.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Nothing happens without a reason on this show. The details are on point. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I guess the Depression made hard, crass broads with a knack for rolling Missourians in the alley with the draw of dirty, back-alley threesomes. Those women also apparently enjoy making men recite Longfellow. I have to wonder if Irene, the near-King Neptune's consort, was one of the Commodore's pedophiliac casualties.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Who didn't see that one coming? Interesting to hear Nucky finally put words to the sentiment he's been carrying around from jump street. He can't escape his prole roots. He can hang at the Ritz, but it doesn't suit him. Drunk on rot-gut whiskey, winning a fist fight, and fucking two women in an alley. Three-fiths of my bucket list. The remainders? Royals World Series Champs. Scott McKinney reinstated at Royals Review. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> That old piece of shit should've apologized to the nice--er, breathing--ladies.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Hey, Nucky may be a piney from the sticks, but he's no mouthbreather. A little respect for the ladies shouldn't be too much to ask.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Man, Van Alden and Eli's plan that was foisted upon them was a shit one. Ralph is boning in the count room. Agent D'Angelo is asked to take care of them only to have Al come back with Paul Muni and George Raft with him. Timing went wrong in nearly every possible way. "We're having trouble at home." "I can vouch for that." Even when their lives hang in the balance, Michael Shannon and Shea Whigham deliver the funny.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Those two were magic when they found themselves in the same scenes. Too bad it didn't happen earlier and oftener.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> In his final moments at least Van Alden got to be himself again. Crazy, invoking Jesus, insisting wrath would reign down on the man he was strangling.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It was interesting for no other reason than I've always kind of wondered how Van Alden could stray so far from his extreme straight-edge religious vibe. Did he cotton to the dark side, or just get swept along in the tumult that was his story arc? I don't remember if it was this week, or last, but I was glad to see a pre-episode " previously on <i>Boardwalk Empire</i>" clip of Van Alden drowning the crooked prohee from way back in Season One. That batshit brutal baptism/drowning revealed to me how fucking awesome this show is. Shannon was fantastic in this series, it was good to see him going out in a blaze of biblical righteousness.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Yeah, if he's got to go out, it was nice to see him revisit his roots en route.<br />
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Eli says it's Ness gunning for him, and Al unwittingly hands the damning evidence to D'Angelo. Eli is released to return east, presumably to eventually help Nucky.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> A little too tidy. But what the hell. Sets up some interesting possibilities for the last two episodes. Shea Whigham was awesome as per usual. Right after Van Alden got popped, and Eli thought he was next, he began nervously mumbling and apologizing over and over to his wife? That was powerful.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I guess Narcisse's being neutered at least made him amenable to releasing Daughter Maitland. Chalky clearly knew what his fate would be, but he got to hear her voice again, and that was all that mattered. As he stepped into the light of day, he knew what fate awaited him. He still got to do right by his daughter and Daughter, who Althea confirmed did love her father.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pSwpXoXTkrBfnMx0R-3XIcs0Rj7Sw0AuYlWnepqxTMN0ViFCka6VpCaBY38Ovm2Ql57NT7kNx2NmRD4prQPjV5KmroSUu__Jr86iwcWobDTi8RR2SyFzL1xTldZy0e84dvd6A8Apreo/s1600/boardwalk14_42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pSwpXoXTkrBfnMx0R-3XIcs0Rj7Sw0AuYlWnepqxTMN0ViFCka6VpCaBY38Ovm2Ql57NT7kNx2NmRD4prQPjV5KmroSUu__Jr86iwcWobDTi8RR2SyFzL1xTldZy0e84dvd6A8Apreo/s1600/boardwalk14_42.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a><b>WG:</b> Chalky went out with some dignity. It was cool that he knew what was up. What a great character. I don't think that Winter quite new what to do with him. Tough episode when you have popular series icons like Chalky and Van Alden both get whacked.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> "You think I don't know who you are?" I'm really starting to think that there has to be more to Joe Harper's story. If he is Tommy Darmody, though, I've got no idea what his endgame is, as revenge could have been taken in the alley.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> It's either a head feint to keep us guessing, or something is up with that dude. Towards the end of the episode there was a split second cut where they flashed to Joe Harper's face. Struck me as odd for a rando extra type guy. He's undoubtedly set up for a bigger role down the stretch. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Regardless, it looks like Nucky is getting his army ready for a war. Unfortunately his legion of allies seems to be dwindling. I can't imagine how he gets out from under this.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> With Mickey Doyle serving as his right-hand man? He's screwed.<br />
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<embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/wTvBkGJY6-M?hl=en_US&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="360" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-14439680012983545842014-10-06T19:53:00.001-05:002014-10-06T19:53:17.628-05:00Wordy Old Men on Boardwalk Empire: Season Five, Episode Five "King of Norway"<i>This week's installment, courtesy of scribe Steve Kornacki and director Ed Bianchi, treats us to a time jump in the story of Young Enoch Thompson--1897, to be exact--where we find him courting Mabel while trying to work his way into the Commodore's inner circle. In the present day, Nucky and Chalky are reunited, June visits Eli in Chicago, dinner is had at the Van Alden/Muellers, and the Young Turks take a shot at the Mustache Petes.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan: </b>Let's focus on the Young Nucky stuff first. There seem to be some viewer complaints about this aspect of the show. I guess if you don't think the show is about Nucky and/or that he's a dull character then this part of the show would stand still. I don't understand either of those points of view, but it seemed like maybe they should be acknowledged. I, for one, am very interested to see from whence Nucky Thompson came. This bookending works for me.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> I've got a small issue with the novelty teeth used by the actor playing Young Man Nuck. The eerie physical resemblance was sufficient to hammer home the flashback vibe without that hornblast grill leaping of the screen. To those faint hearts wounded by the looks back, let's join together and say pshaw. For me, the examination of the boy who became the man is a fresh fucking twist.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Once again, this time in the flashbacks, we get a <i>Ragged Dick</i> reference for Nucky. This is not the first time that Nucky has been compared against Horatio Alger's protagonist. Of course, that middle-class respectability is something that is likely to elude Nucky, given the choices that he's made. Of course, there's an element of damned if you do, damned if you don't in his tale. He comes from such abject poverty that it's hard to fathom the future he desired without cutting some corners.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Therein lies the rub. He wants it so bad, the ends always justify the means.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Adult Mabel is played by Maya Kazan, Zoe's sister. The courtship of Mabel Jeffries includes a scene at the table straight out of any classist father-suitor tale. This, of course, plays into the class issues endemic in Nucky's greater story. The life he wants, the woman he wants, all of these are things which the boot black Nucky Thompson is perhaps too bold to want.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Is Buscemi the shit or what? How does he make Nucky a sympathetic character? The flashbacks help establish a patina of empathy, but ultimately he's a loathsome protagonist. Despite his wormy ways, I typically find myself pulling for him. He's got zero charisma. Physically, he's unlike 99% of what we see in male leads. His character is a schemer, a murderer, a womanizer, a liar, a cheat, a lawbreaker, and all of this is carried out with the low-grade menace of a high school principal. He operates with an offhand disdain that burns too cool to be openly hostile. You can feel his patronizing contempt for the majority of the characters around him, who are two beats too slow to keep up with his thinking. The look on his face is best described as lemon-wedge constipated. Yet, at almost every step along the way, I'm pulling for his schemes to succeed. Perhaps this says more about me than the necromancy Buscemi is able to beam through the character. <br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I definitely don't feel like I should be rooting for him, yet I am at every turn.<br />
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It seems likely that the Commodore wants Nucky's handling of the corpse of Mr. Halligan to be his trial. Though he seems to regard Nucky unfavorably--"mooncalf" is an abortive fetus of a cow but came to mean either a monstrous/grotesque thing (Shakespeare refers to Caliban as such in The Tempest) or later a dullard or fool; one must figure that the Commodore means to apply the latter usage in this situation, though it's hard to see how either really fits here--this must be the Commodore's means by which to evaluate Nucky's ability to do his dirty work.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> "Mooncalf" struck me as a little harsh. Nucky had already demonstrated veteran leadership skills by nonchalantly laying out strategy to keep rivals out of Atlantic City. And he showed plus-plus cigar-handling skills. Obviously, the Commodore wasn't hip to his charms. I think the corpse de Halligan is most certainly intended as an acid test.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I'd watch Stephen Graham clench the Tribune in hand while parked on the shitter any day. Judging by the fact that Agent D'Angelo is hep to Capone's plan to move the whole operation to Cicero posthaste, I'd posit that it's highly unlikely that his rash decision to enlist Eli and Nelson to nab Capone's ledger goes off without a hitch.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Having Capone refer to his own stubborn shit as "fucker" was inspired.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Looks like Al is going to be taking Owney Madden and presumably George Raft (who was Madden's lifelong friend and actor in Scarface). Raft later made sex on Betty Grable, Marlene Dietrich, and Mae West.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Raft makes Derek Jeter look like an amateur. I'd love to see them go balls deep with the Hollywood angle. I want to see someone playing your boy Edward G. Robinson, slamming shots with Capone and pouring over a Daily Racing Form trying to suss out the feature at Hawthorne Park.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Joe Harper, that fresh-faced lad who Mickey Doyle grabbed from the hobo fire in the alley, looks like he'd make a great Mr. Bates. He's got the suit-coat-hold down pat.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Bates! Great series cross over idea. <i>Downton Abbey</i> gets Nucky's Cuban muscle and <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> gets Bates and a footmen to be named later. Hilarity and ear loss ensues.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I saw someone hypothesize that Joe Harper could also by Jimmy's scion, which would make sense.<br />
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With Chalky White so hellbent on revenge against Narcisse, it's too bad that coming to Nucky's aid one last time probably isn't in the cards.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm just glad he's around for another episodes. I felt a pang of doom when Chalky rashly showed up at the Harlem brothel.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Eli's drunken fever dreams are answered. The only man on the show who loves his wife fucked the bitter shrew Mrs. Van Alden Mueller in his seven-year drunken stupor and didn't even know he'd done it until the titular man showed his mustachioed face. Before the key to his nightmares was revealed, that dinner scene was a pretty great snapshot of the shit home life of George Nelson Van Alden Mueller. Their sex scene, whoa. The look on her face. Harpy.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm not going to lie. I'm a sucker for the beautiful cruelty. I'm down with Mrs. Van Alden Mueller, for no other reason than her habit of barking out "Husband" to her man like she was trying to get the attention of a pet. That dinner scene was hilarious. How do you create a scene as cliched as the henpecked husband and marital strife without sinking into the threadbare depths of banality? You turn it up to 11.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> "The event you're thinking about? That was an accident. Plain and simple." "You mean like a streetcar hitting a horse? A man getting his head crushed in a metal press? A gas explosion in which bystanders are literally torn limb from limb? That's what your having sexual relations with my wife was like?" "Look, I don't know about you, but my life is a fucking shipwreck." "Well, land ho." Honestly, I could just transcribe that scene and leave it at that. We need a fucking Michael Shannon and Shea Whigham series. It'd be great if it was Eli and Nelson these past few years, but anything. The scene while the waited for D'Angelo was transcendent.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> The Chicago scenes in general have stood out with a different type of electricity than the rest of the locales on the show. <i>Looney Tunes</i>. A joy to watch.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Gillian's future is looking bleak. Dr. Cotton seems quite the kook. Cutting the crazy out like a loony-bin Mengele. Not from the brain either. Jesus.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm more worried for Dr. Cotton than I am for Gillian.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Daughter Maitland and daughter. Methinks Chalky's got another, younger Maybelle.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I didn't even think about that! You might be onto something. I hope so.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Torrio makes it out of all this unscathed. So do Lansky, Luciano, and Siegel. In Maranzano, it looks like Nucky is betting on a losing horse. And by looks like, I mean he is. It's hard to imagine a peaceful resolution between Nucky and the Mustache Petes. Knowing the fates of the others, it's hard not to assume the worst for Nucky.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I hope Winter has the courage to flout history, and the skills to end the series with the flair it deserves.<br />
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<embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/uFM6R53gui8?hl=en_US&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="480" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-73724220435066448552014-09-29T01:00:00.000-05:002014-09-29T01:00:13.816-05:00Wordy Old Men on Boardwalk Empire: Season Five, Episode Four "Cuanto"<i>Nucky and Margaret share a wine-soaked afternoon, loaded with all the historical subtext one would expect. Luciano visits Capone making for an interesting run-in with Van Alden. Sally makes the rounds for Nucky in Cuba as unrest festers. Having been laid off at the end of the summer, Young Nucky shows Eli the life they're missing. This week's installment is brought to you by writers Howard Korder, Cristine Chambers, and Terence Winter and is directed by Jake Paltrow.</i><br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> Young Nuck in horny sway to lifestyles of the rich and famous. Reduced to wandering around the hotel fondling the plumbing with his brother. Mick Jagger said it best, “you’re just a poor girl in a rich man’s house. Oohew whoe who ew ew ew.” Flash forward, and Contemporary Nuck hasn’t changed. He’s wrapped himself in the lifestyle, but it doesn’t quite fit. He can’t run with Joe P and the Vanderbilts because he’s too dirty. He’s not as visceral and Mediterranean as Luciano and Capone. The existential angst. You could cut it with a statue of the Empire State Building. What does this motherfucker need to be happy? A real dad? Hang on Nuck, Sartre publishes <i>Nausea</i> in eight years.<br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> I wonder how many hours Robin Leach dedicated to pipe-and-fixture fondling. Big Pfister man. It was interesting to see Young Nucky see the life he wanted--and the dodgy pedo who could give it to him--blowing away in the breeze of the Indian Summer. It's clear at that early age that the nose-down grunt work of his father would not suffice. I don't think anyone knows what would have actually made Nucky happy, and that especially includes Nucky. For all of this desire for success, nothing is going to fill that hole that he dug up inside when he got in bed with the Commodore. It's strange, though. Nucky's real desire seems to have been for a proper family. He cries at the table at seeing a proper family, complete with recitations of Keats at the table. His choices rendered that impossible.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Scotch and Rum don’t mix is the smuggest god damn line I’ve ever heard.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>That's those County Wexford fucks for you.<br />
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<b>WG: </b>The reunion with Margaret hit me odd. Relegating her to second team plot status last season meant that we lost some of the punch, immediacy, and history of their relationship. At least I did. The apparent return to the varsity line-up didn’t mean as much to me as it should have.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> I actually dug it. She cut loose a bit. Even she, at this point is at ease drinking. I mean it has certainly been a while, but they slipped back into familiarity pretty damn quickly, and with drink came a looser rapport with Nucky, freely calling him a bastard but without malice. Her "why does everyone assume?" bit when Nucky asked if she'd been sleeping with Rothstein was funny. The "Partners in crime" toast was a nice touch. I like that he saw in Margaret what he'd wanted in himself. Self-made success story, even if she got into a bit of trouble.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Evidently the Kennedy’s have game? Straight up PUA. Only took a few minutes chit chatting in the sitting room for Joe P to work it. Did you see the way Margaret was suggestively bobbing her leg? They were swapping Irish landmarks and talking in Gaelic like long lost lovers. Could Nucky be any more on the outside looking in?<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>It's sort of where he lives, isn't it?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> If you haven’t figured it out yet, Capone is a goddamn loose cannon. Real loose. Watching his own press clippings. Big mistake, if I’m to believe everything I read in the sprots media. I love how the Capone scenes are a completely different world. Barnyard, <i>Animal House</i>, and abattoir.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Goddamn Italian Wallace Beery, who of course was Noah Beery Jr.'s similarly amiable uncle. I don't know if Capone--Stephen Graham or real-life Capone--could have pulled off being Jim Rockford's rig-obsessed pop. Obviously, Capone's game is for a different time than the one Luciano is ushering in. They're old friends, but clearly Capone's loyalties lie with Nucky, and why wouldn't they given their history?<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Thank God Van Alden Mueller escaped Capone’s impromptu execution. Isn’t it about time we get all slack-jawed and goofy about how awesome Michael Shannon is? Mumbling with Capone’s .45 in his mouth. Coolly finding the right words to defuse the situation. And then stiffly walking out, calm but somehow rattled--how can you tell when Van Alden Mueller is rattled? something in the eyes? the usual look on his face like he’s just taken a big swig of sour milk gets slightly more aggrieved?--admitting very politely that he may have soiled his sensible pants? How many series can pull off a scene like that?<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> "I get the feeling my boss doesn't like me." Using Al's vanity, even in a possible blackout, was pretty fucking brilliant. That scene was outstanding. I do wonder if Van Alden Mueller doesn't become the key for the case for the prosecution.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Sally Wheet, what a bad ass. She may have been a good match for Joe P. I got tired on her behalf. The bank clown hitting on her with the purple prose. Doyle trying a similar shtick over the phone. I thought for sure she’d talk her way out of that situation with the soldiers. Of course she created a skirmish and ends up with one of the soldier’s guns. Remember when she ruffed up Nucky last season? I hated to see her dead along the roadside. She deserved a more glorious send off. Put her in a boat, point it towards the Florida Keys, and set it alight with Molotov cocktails lobbed from the dock.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Apparently Mickey Doyle is into Quaker poetry in the style of John Greenleaf Whittier. Wouldn't have pegged him for that. As for Sally, a drunk's Viking funeral would be the appropriate send-off according to Miss Manners. That banker was a putz. So the soldiers were putting down the Gibara Rebellion of 1931 where 40 revolutionaries thought that they could overthrow Machado from Holguin. It at least looked like the officer who stopped Sally may have been one of the three army guys outside of the bank president's office. With the Bacardi family having to go into exile roughly thirty years later on account of Castro nationalizing the company, the resentment amongst The People should probably come as no surprise. I guess all it takes is one dipshit with a twitch in his trigger finger. I would posit that since the officer only chided the dunce for shooting an American out in the open, not necessarily for shooting her, that it was probably in the cards to begin with, what with the Army in the wings at the bank. I don't know, however, how they would have known precisely where she'd have been at that hour. My guess is Don Maxime Ronis is pissing off the wrong people in Cuba.<br />
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<object height="360" width="640"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/v/oIIxlgcuQRU?version=3&hl=en_US"></param>
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<embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/oIIxlgcuQRU?version=3&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="360" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>Old Man Dugganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11092198064040919376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9165386137410379596.post-60248104302202003002014-09-22T00:10:00.000-05:002014-09-22T00:10:08.419-05:00Wordy Old Men on Boardwalk Empire: Season Five, Episode Three "What Jesus Said"<i>This week's episode was penned by Cristine Chambers (who wrote last season's "The Old Ship of Zion") and Terence Winter's right hand Howard Korder. It was directed by the steady hand of Ed Bianchi. This week, we're back to Chalky's escape, the heat coming down on Margaret, the Young Turks go to Dr. Narcisse as representatives for Maranzano, and Nucky trying to make inroads with Joe Kennedy.</i><br />
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<b>Old Man Duggan:</b> In the Young Nuck in the A.C. flashbacks, we are introduced to Nucky's future wife, Mabel. Nucky finds himself thinking back to the innocent woman who first received his love. Chalky in the meantime is forced to think back to his Mabel, Maybelle, the daughter that he lost. I would wager a guess that these two tortured souls--whose journeys simultaneously bring a flood of memories of the deceased treasures of their lives--both lost their Mabels/Maybelles on account of the lives they chose to lead. The symmetry here is clearly not coincidental.<br />
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<b>Wordy Ginters:</b> With friend and foe alike coldly cast aside over the course of <i>Boardwalk Empire</i>'s impressive run, one way to look at what we're left with is the parallel stories of two anti-heroes, Chalky and Nucky. They've got a lot in common. Overcoming poverty. Trying to maintain some semblance of family life despite the occupational hazards of making a living a la Wise Guy. I can only assume they both like to drink their eggs the same way: neat.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Looks like her dealings with Arnold Rothstein are going to get Margaret in a heap of trouble. The Widow Rothstein seemed to have little patience for Margaret's protestations and explanations. At least it gets her back in the room with Nucky. "Mabel?"<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I hope the Margaret thread gets woven back in more interestingly than we've seen so far, Its unclear to me how she still fits. The connection via Rothstein is strained. As far as reunion tours go, I'm much more inclined to firm up over Nucky and Chalkie taking on Narcisse, although it appears that Luciano is attempting to solve that one himself.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>There's very little truth being spoken in the bottle episode within the episode. Or at least if there is truth being told, it's hard to tell from whom it's originating. The daughter, Fern, seems a particularly adept fabricator. Of course, it damn near gets her got, but such is life when you're living on the edge. Chambers and Korder's play on whether or not Milton's remembrance of the past can be trusted is nice, as we the audience are essentially put in Chalky's shoes left to suss out who is actually telling the truth and never really getting a great answer to that question, though that was hardly the point for the greater purpose of the story.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Those scenes crackled because of the uncertainty. I was fairly sure Chalky was going to waste sweet, silly, Milton, but I damn sure didn't have any idea what carnage Milton was going to unleash prior to that. I still don't have any idea what most of the head feints (why did the dress make Mom crack?) and half truths meant, and like you've astutely pointed out, it's irrelevant on the surface. Underneath the exterior, perhaps it serves as a crude mirror of Nucky trying to work with Joe Kennedy, or the statement made by one of the Colonel's cronies (a young Leander?) in an A.C. flashback post murdered white rose aficianado, which in so many words was the idea that you never really know what another person is thinking.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> As far as the dress making Mom crack, I'm pretty sure she saw the dark path that this whole ordeal was heading down with her daughter stripping down to try on her party dress at Milton's behest and had to remove Fern from harm's way at all costs.<br />
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Lucky and Bugsy head to Dr. Narcisse as emissaries for Maranzano. Or at least that's the story they're selling Dr. Narcisse. Given their long play on the Mustache Petes, I'm guessing all is not as it seems. Something tells me they're likely stirring shit up trying to get Maranzano off-guard for when they take him down. Whether or not Narcisse is a casualty of this play remains to be seen, though I'd imagine that the piece of unfinished business between Chalky and Narcisse plays itself out.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Agreed. It would be a shame if we don't get some Narcisse vs. Chalky resolution. Terence Winter doesn't get off on denying viewer expectations as much as his Soprano's partner David Chase, so I hope to see them squared up rather than battle by proxy. I'm not asking for a Deadwood Dan vs The Captain street brawl, but something similarly epic would be fitting.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>In the early years, Nucky was looking to the Commodore to see how the game is played. In 1931, he looks to Joe Kennedy, who claims to have made his fortune without breaking any laws. This is, of course, what Nucky aspires to be in a post-Volstead age.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I'm not familiar enough with history to know if they did cross paths, or if it merely a genius plot twist to tangle Nucky up with the American Royal Family, but either way I dig it. I hope it's not over before the writers have a chance to weave more historical fiction goodness. Nucky is so enthralled by the fat cats that he would literally kiss a pony for a dime. Knowing this, I was surprised he more or less told Joe P. to get bent when Kennedy couldn't see his own hypocrisy. I was also surprised Joe P didn't ask Nucky to kiss a pony. As a horseplayer, I can honestly say I would have kissed several ponies given the opportunity and a green light from said pony. No means No, Josh. At the track, on the beach, wherever. Respect.<br />
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<b>OMD:</b> Respect indeed.<br />
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Milton, that crazy fucker, I was damn near certain--and it sure seems like Marie was, too--that shit was going to get rapey. Dude was no good. Guess that's why he got a hammer driven into his fucking skull. Nothing says <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> like a crude implement being driven deep into some dumbfuck's skull. Still, Chalky's answer to Fern's question regarding whether Maybelle knows what he is is the key here. "She knew what I was." She and Mabel both, I would presume.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Milton fits nicely in the <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> batshit crazy bad guy Hall of Fame. I know he had a short run, but he deserves a plaque. I thought he was too religious to get all up in that. He chastely closed his eyes during the run up to the big fashion show. If you told me that the character of Milton walked right off the set of <i>Being There</i>, I wouldn't quite understand what you were trying to say, but then again I would. <br />
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<b>OMD: </b>The first proper introduction to the future Mrs. Mabel Thompson is a nice one. "'Enoch walked with God and he was no more.' . . . It means he didn't die." Somehow I wonder if that line mightn't be foreshadowing for how the season/series plays out. Regardless, it was a cute scene. Young love, the beach, and a horse. That has the makings of a much more lurid tale.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> Pony kissin! History tell us that Nuck does indeed live, It wouldn't bug me to see him get whacked, but that might be a little stretchy. I definitely got a kick out of young Nuck's sharp take on Mabel's lightweight bible verse interpretation. "It's going in circles". If he wasn't a bootlegger, he'd have a future as a Philosophy professor. Young Nuck looked like he was just sweeping sand off the porch and generally steppin' lively, but his mind was running game on paradoxical thinking.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>Before the cart is placed ahead of the horse, Winter has said that Nucky won't necessarily make it out of this season. That Enoch Johnson and Enoch Thompson's fates aren't necessarily intertwined.<br />
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Back to the lurid, that GM tool who couldn't help from j-ing off under the table at a burlesque show, what do you think came of him? As for Kitty, that's one missile-twister with a special set of skills. I'm guessing she rescues teenage girls from sex trafficking rings in Europe on the side.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> I was ashamed for mankind. Men are animals. Ultimately, it's Mickey Doyle's fault. What the fuck happened to the respectable joint Chalky used to run? And why hasn't he had some blunt instrument planted in his head yet?<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>"I want to leave something behind." An answer which leaves a lot of room for interpretation.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> You can't buy happiness Nuck. However, according to David Lee Roth, you can park your yacht right next to it.<br />
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<b>OMD: </b>The Kid. He's gonna give Mickey half his pay? I'm assuming it's a young Paul Ryan and that's why he became such an advocate of objectivism. There's no way that kid doesn't suffer a horrible fate. He's got red shirt written all over him--unless, of course, he offs Mickey, granting me my wish.<br />
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<b>WG:</b> <i>Our</i> wish.<br />
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