Thursday, January 8, 2009

Diversions: Bacon

So the best cook I have ever met in my life just sent me an email that contained perhaps the greatest thing in the history of time. Now when I call him "the best cook I have ever met in my life", I do not want to be misunderstood. This is not some fey chef who sets his tiny little creations on a plate with three-quarters of the plate being open space.

No, this man does not fuck around when it comes to food.

Hell, the reason our friendship began was because he happened to be at the counter where I was working at the time--a place I shall never again mention in this blog--while I was talking about how Mark, Chad, and I had gotten drunk on untold pounds of bacon and brats fried in the bacon grease and then stuffed and wrapped in bacon the night before while watching Burt Reynolds films. This was a story that impressed him, which obviously means that this man is a man's man.

The meat he cooks is otherworldly. By otherworldly, I mean that he will salt-cure a pork shank for six days and then smoke it for six hours, and his prodigious gifts yield the most absurdly outstanding meaty goodness that to go back to other meat is a tragedy that knows no words. He candies bacon. He whips up stews that explode in your mouth, fill your stomach, yet do not do insane damage to your lower gastrointestinal tract. This man is a demigod.

So, the email I received today--after stopping by where he worked to pick up a bit of perhaps the best bacon I have ever had in my life--contained this link, followed by the apt line: best use of bacon ever.

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