So I knew it would be a weird day when I got out of the shower and sat down to put on my socks only to look up and see a Neil Diamond sex scene on the TV at nine in the morning. Little did I know I'd be in for a gaggle of soaped up cocks during a YMCA montage in a PG-rated movie from 1980. Lucky for me, they were there. A bunch of bare ass, a few sudsy cocks, and a pair of buoyant tits later I was struck with shock and awe.
I'm of course talking about Can't Stop the Music, the fictionalized account of the rise of the Village People starring Steve Guttenberg and Bruce Jenner--well, maybe starring is too strong a term because neither of their performances a worthy of a star. I've now seen a few Guttenberg movies from the early 80's over the past few months, and I have to say he's the gayest actor I think I've ever seen. And I'm not meaning that as the slang "gay" for bad or undesirable. I mean that in the sense that he acts gayer than anyone else has ever acted before. He acts more gaily.
And then there's Jenner. What a cheesy tool. Terrible actor. Shoulda stuck to decathlons. There is a great scene on the street where they're on their way to the Y and Jenner is wearing a crop top and cut-offs and the Gutt is in very short shorts and a tight T-shirt (alas, it was not a crop top...). Then they go into the Y and there's all that cock and male ass and I woke up a few hours later with a sour taste in my mouth, unable to sit.
Whatever.
I guess now I know how all those teams that the referees screwed on UCLA's path to the Final Four feel like.
If you want to know what I feel like, here's a snippet.
I hope you feel violated now, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment