Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Notes on "Footloose"

The following notes were taken while watching Footloose, which I'd not seen in years; they are in sequential order and alternate between inane, mundane, and profane at random:
  • When the lead actress, Lori Singer, is straddling the center line standing on both the car and the truck, the truck swerves while she's supposedly standing on its door. She totally would have died there.
  • Either Kevin Bacon's short or Singer's really fucking tall.
  • Was Chris Penn trying to play retarded?
  • Nice ADR when they're getting pulled over...
  • Rock confuses minds and bodies?
  • Red boots are only worn by trollops.
  • Chris Penn is most definitely playing retarded.
  • I miss the 80's convention of name-dropping bands in movies. I suppose when they do it now, though, it only pisses me off (see: Juno).
  • He only maintains his air of coolness because he's wearing sneakers.
  • That high school drug dealer is fucking retarded. Worst. Drug dealer. Ever.
  • His uncle is the missing link between John Ford Coley and Sonny Bono.

  • Oh shit! Here comes the big solo dance scene... Emilio Estevez eat your fucking heart out! David Lee Roth, too!
  • The gymnastics though... Gay.
  • What the fuck accent is she trying to pull off?
  • Did Ren just insinuate that Ariel is a tramp?
  • Is he afraid to kiss her because he knows that she won't be attractive by 2008 standards?
  • I never really thought about this, but John Lithgow is kind of a dick in this movie.
  • I keep waiting for my childhood memory of this movie having taken place in Indiana to be confirmed, thus making the mountains in the background hilarious. Nothing yet. Was I combining a memory of Footloose and Hoosiers?
  • Was that old lady with the tinted glasses Kermit's (from "Kung Fu: The Legend Continues") mom?
  • Maybe I was a really smart kid and drew the John Cougar Mellencamp - Indiana connection...
  • There are those red boots again...
  • Chris Penn's unibrow is really something.
  • Hearing "Footloose" makes me want to dance.
  • Was that Allyce Beasley in the bar?
  • "Why don't you just flake off." Really? Was this originally going to be Rated R like I always suspected Empire Records was supposed to be before the studio presumably interfered?
  • Child abuse!!! Lithgow = Dick.
  • Vi? That's Dianne Wiest's name in this? Weird.
  • His wife called him out--will he slap her, too?
  • Whoa, "dumb sonuvabitch fag"? Shit.
  • Male ass! More male ass!
  • I swear I saw a movie within the last week with "Let's Hear It for the Boy". Maybe I'm thinking of something in Fletch or the other Herbert Ross movie I saw this week, The Secret of My Succe$s.
  • She be gettin' slapped. Again? If there's a lesson to be learned from this movie, it is that it is all right to slap preachers' daughters. Sam, if you're reading this, don't get any ideas.
  • They're gonna throw the Bible at 'em.
  • Who the fuck would want to live in this town? Bomont sucks.
  • Was that a bespectacled Brandon Routh?
  • You know, I wasn't sold on dancing, but after Kevin Bacon's presentation to the city council...
  • The Byrds? That's that fucking Rock and Roll?!?
  • Yo, Rev. Jesus wants these kids to dance! Check Yo' Self.
  • She's not a virgin???
  • Book burning? This shit is getting out of control.
  • Lithgow's human? Fallible? Fuck. The walls around me are crumbling.
  • What town big enough to have its own high school only has one church because that's the impression I'm getting of this town.
  • Dianne Wiest looks like Crispin Glover in that doorway.
  • Holy shit! Lori Singer was Don Johnson's wife in Heartbeat.
  • Chuck is a dick.
  • I love that these kids who can't dance by law can somehow dance in step with one another.
  • That rubber-armed guy is at least two-thirds legs.
  • The weird thing--other than my Indiana memory that is clearly not based in fact--is that I had the fight and the dance reversed in my memory of this film with Chris Penn dying at the end of the movie. I must have been on crack when I first watched this.
On a very odd, yet entirely related coincidence, I turned the channel to Short Cuts once Footloose was over and shortly after I turned the channel I was treated to full frontal Lori Singer nudity with Chris Penn peeping through a fence as she stripped down, jumped in a pool, and played dead.

And for your patience:

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Not footloose related, but I thought you might dig this: http://volume-knob.blogspot.com/2008/12/sufjan-stevens-songs-for-christmas-vol.html

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