Wednesday, November 5, 2008

America, The Beautiful

Last night, I went to bed with visions of Liberty dancing in my head

overcome with indescribable joy. I was so giddy with excitement that I actually that I woke up about three hours before I needed to this morning. The emotions coursing through my veins recalled a time in which I had no worries, a time of innocence. A time of hope. I watched the news and was stirred by Jesse Jackson's tears. I sauntered around the house in a daze, replaying the events of the night before and couldn't help but think of James Brown

while picking up the camouflaged cans of the Champagne of Beers scattered across the living room.

As I showered, birds chirped, and bees buzzed, and the sun shone brightly with puffy little white clouds floating harmlessly in the sky. And as I left the house to walk to work for the pleasure of it, the wind blew gently across my cheek,

cooling it ever so slightly.

From high above in the sky, a bald eagle slowly glided towards me--circling kindly--and gently came to rest on my shoulder, and as he nuzzled his head against my cheek, he began to sing...

Upon finishing his song, he told me that he thought I'd been doing well in my life and to keep up the good work. Then he said he had to go save a puppy that was going to get hit by a car and flew off to do good.

As I walked into work, I jumped up on the counter and sang

while everyone started dancing

just like that.

I wore myself out, though, and had to take care of business. When I rose from the throne and went to wash away my refuse, I was shocked to find that roses had sprung forth from my excrement, and it was at that point that I knew,

well, you know...

Upon returning to the counter to help the endless line of smiling patrons, I belted out the following:

and they all wept tears of joy.

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