Dear Devoted Reader,
Having been struck with one of but a million brilliant thoughts, I have come to the conclusion that I need a benefactor.
Early on, it was clear that I would leave an impact on the world through writing. My inner greatness was destined to shine through, blinding the world with its import. Of this, I have always been sure. Unfortunately, life has gotten in the way.
You see, no matter the unimaginable literary genius that lies within this vessel, life has decided that there are bills that need to be paid and jobs that need to be worked. I think we can all agree that this is a tragedy of epic proportions.
The World is being denied my genius. Work (and a general fear of grant writing) is getting in the way.
So dear wealthy person looking for an avenue by which you can put your money to use, I hereby hijack the spotlight and shine it down on myself. You--yes, you--can be my Magwitch.
Let's just say that you are an escaped convict, washed ashore upon wriggling free from your shackles. I will serve as your Pip, bringing you food, booze, and a file. Or perhaps a more contemporary scenario plays out, and you would like my purely platonic company. I like hanging out. I like "Frasier". We can sit around watching "Frasier" in between the voluminous writing that I can undertake with your help.
In me, rich future friend, you will find a pretty great guy, and the author that is sure to transform the world as we know it through his writing.
My debt is by no means insane, but the leeway to allow for me to pursue my future unfettered (and I would never consider your kindly sponsorship as anything other than something for which to be grateful) seems especially pertinent in this time in which we sorely need a fresh new voice in the American literary scene.
Do not trample over one another. There is room in my heart for you all. Feel free to contact me via my email address on my blogger profile.
I look forward to your interest.