Man on Film: Piranha 3D

All right, first things first:  Does anyone else think it's ridiculous that the studio doesn't seem to acknowledge that the first two Piranha movies existed?

I can categorically say that the reason two of my friends (Chad and Peter, for you Austinite readers) were as excited as they were for Piranha 3D was that they were such big Piranha and Piranha 2* fans.  Why not exploit their fandom?

*Aquarena in the house!

Moving on...

Piranha 3D successfully executes what it sets out to do.  That is to make a trashy horror movie with tons of nudity and its tongue placed firmly in its cheek.  The cast is likeable.  The proper nods are made to the iconic films it owes a debt to, particularly the intro with Krippendorf.




Did I mention there's tons of nudity?

Oh, you want an example?  Well, Jerry O'Connell's* severed cock is eaten by a piranha, with the fish making its own slider.

 *And if for some odd reason, you harbor a soft spot for Kangaroo Jack, don't worry.  He is essentially playing the loathsome Ron Francis.

There's also a ton of Kelly Brook nudity.  I speak for humankind and probably a large chunk of the animal kingdom when I say that this is not a bad thing.

But what really works is that this film doesn't take itself even remotely seriously.  It is superbly cast with one glaring exception, its star, the charisma-less grandson of Steve McQueen.  Other than his utter lack personality or charm (think somewhere between Paul Walker in The Fast and the Furious and Chris Klein in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li*), the film is littered with a great supporting cast.  Adam Scott is woefully underused but still great.  Elisabeth Shue, in addition to still being very attractive, is spot-on as the local sheriff.  Christopher Lloyd is funny in what boils down to a cheeky Doc Brown cameo. 

*Witness the brilliance of Chris Klein here...


Ultimately, all Piranha 3D needs to do is entertain, and between ridiculous fish deaths and rampant nudity, it delivers.