Wordy Old Men on Boardwalk Empire: Season Four, Episode Eleven "Havre de Grace"

The penultimate episode of the season finds Chalky nursing his wounds in the Pennsylvania countryside while Nucky tries to ferret out who the skunk in his camp is following a midnight call from Gaston Bullock Means. Roy's play with Gillian comes to light.

Old Man Duggan: First off, sorry for the delay, folks. I was out of commission on the Texas Gulf Coast without HBO or a computer to put this together with, so I come to you all cap in hand begging your forgiveness.

Wordy Ginters: Me? I was healing the poor. Giving sight to the rich. Or perhaps blithely endorsing a mini-vacation from the immediate reaction after-episode deadline pressure cooker.

OMD: Moving on past the excuses for our tardiness, this episode seemed to be operating primarily as a set-up piece for what is to come in next week's season finale. The backstory calm before the epic storm. Focusing first on Havre de Grace, where we spent much of the episode, it may not have been the source of a lot of tension or conflict, but I liked a lot of what was going on alongside the banks of the Susquehanna. Oscar Boneau (Louis Gossett, Jr.) was the first time the show has given us a link back to the black side of pre-Civil War America. It happened only in passing, but Boneau's talk of young black girls being sold on Queen Street and skepticism as to what the Civil War was actually fought over provided a nice bridge and historical depth to the proceedings.

WG: Gossett Jr.'s Boneau brings ancient gravitas to Albert's backstory, as well as a little heft to the race issues that Boardwalk Empire addresses in a pretty sophisticated way. I'm basically a slice of white bread in blue jeans and black Converse, so what the fuck do I know? It's pretty obvious that Terence Winter loves him some Chalky. Anti-heroes are about as passe as zombie fucking wives of vampire county reality TV these days, so to me it says something when an adulterous, murdering, Uncle Tom-ish, hot-head like Chalky is so Goddamn lovable.

OMD: "Never trust no buckras, no matter what." Chalky invoking the old Southeastern black word for white man or boss, likely derived from the Efik word for master, mbakara. Oscar's quick response, "Never trust no browns, neither," probably had a bit more relevance to Chalky's traveling companion than Chalky was gleaning from the advice, lending credence to Oscar's preceding statement, "Well, I told you a lot. Don't know what you heard." They also fit in "ofay" at the dinner table scene, just for good measure, dusting off another arcane term of disparagement against white people. Just like Nucky last season when he was entangled with Billie Kent and was unable to hear Rothstein's advice, we find Chalky in the same position, unable to see what people with wisdom on the matter at hand can see.

WG: The heart wants what the heart wants. The scenes in Maryland were beautiful. I watched the episode twice, and the second time around I realized that whenever Daughter and Chalky shared the frame, they were always separated by a window frame, a car door, a stile on the porch railing, or whatever. The composition on this show is unreal.

OMD: Yeah, it's really crazy how deliberately shot each episode of the show is. I guess that's what HBO money affords you. Time.

I also liked getting a bit more of Chalky's origins. The knockdown with some corner boys that he described in the car in the open took me back to The Wire for a split second. More than anything, though, I think this episode served as a moment for Chalky to peer through the looking glass and glimpse his future. For a man cut from his cloth, there is no going quietly into the night. Of course, Oscar probably goes down differently if Chalky never shows up in Havre de Grace, but as Tupac said, when you "live by the gun, [you] die by the gun."

WG: All in the game, yo. All in the game. I had the same Wire vapor trails sensation during that scene. Had to be a sly nod from the writers. If anything, I wish they would have introduced some of that backstory sooner or spent more time with it. Gossett Jr. was fantastic.

OMD: On the Gillian front, I believe I called it, but let's start at the beginning. The scene with Leander and Mr. Ferry on the stairs was nicely set-up, Gillian torn between her desire to hold onto the past or step into the future, the realization that what she needs to do for Tommy is to simply let go and that she needs to sell the Commodore's house, thus becoming unanchored, whirling out of control. Nicely done, Allen Coulter. Her gift of Jimmy's war medals actually seemed to give her a little shred of dignity before the fall. And what a fall it was. It played out like a long con straight out of The Grifters, surely the intention as the sudden influx of cash by way of the sale of the house gave cause to wonder if Roy wasn't, in fact, simply running a con on her. In a sense, I suppose he was. A Pinkerton. Who'd have guessed? Oh, that's right. Me. You can't run from Roger's corpse, Gillian. Ron Livingston will see to it.

WG: Nice call. Old Man Duggan, Plot Hunter.

OMD: I have to say I really liked the framing and composition in the scene in the diner with Eli and Tolliver. Tolliver: the lawman, bathed in light, clarity of face equating to clarity of vision. Eli: the fallen lawman, face obscured in the shadows, the darkness symbolic of the position he finds himself in, no clear way out. Eli's assessment of Nucky showed that he knows Nucky better than Nucky knows himself. Nucky's constant talk of wanting out is just Nucky trying to run from the obvious fact that he is addressing an internal need in his quest for supremacy.

WG: I'm glad you mentioned that scene. I dug the smoke from the table behind Eli billowing over his shoulder on the close-ups. Poor bastard was stooped over his coffee, bent, broken, and smoking. Knoxiver looked like he was being lit for a 1950's toothpaste commercial. Speaking of smoking, have you had the pleasure of viewing Cocteau's Beauty and the Beast? The Beast looks like a cross between Sluggerrr and the Lion from The Wizard of Oz, but he literally emanates smoke in many of his scenes. I don't know how they worked that effect back in the 40's, nail a smoke pot to the back of the costume? Smoke. So versatile. So sexy. So deadly. So visually communicative. So fucking smokey.

OMD: I've seen none of Jean Cocteau's work. My minor in film studies fails me yet again. Damn you, University of Minnesota. Damn you straight to Hell.

Of course, Eli couldn't cover his tracks well enough at the dinner table after Tolliver's visit to Eli's house was inadvertently revealed while they supped. Nucky knows something wicked his way comes. There's no fucking way he's at that meeting with Masseria and Narcisse, right? He could certainly use the meeting to clear the way a bit, conveniently getting held up elsewhere. He's a cool, calculating sonuvabitch, and he clearly knows something is amiss with Eli. Of course, he could just have Harrow take out Narcisse and anyone else who stands in his way.

WG: I think you've probably bagged another plot twist for your trophy room. I'm guessing Willie and Nuck had time to suss out the queer "insurance salesman" anecdote, and Nucky has done the algebra required to solve Means's hilarious phone call. Harrow will have Narcisse in his crosshairs. If only because I don't think Winter can give history the finger. Got to be a denizen of the fictional world.

OMD: That was a fantastic phone call, wasn't it? I laughed so many times during that scene.

So just a few days to wait for this season's conclusion. Any predictions? I got Harrow snuffing out Narcisse, though I hope Leandor Sydnor takes over his Harlem Chapter of the Universal Negro Improvement Association, running it on the up and up. I sure as hell hope Scrapper and Levi come back to the A.C. with Chalky as soon as they send Weems a-dirt-nappin'.

WG: I think one of the "good guys" gets whacked. Harrow or Chalky. Like Abraham offering his son Isaac. Winter has to let some blood to keep things fresh. Leandor administering a regular program of lectures and one-act plays for the Universal Negro Improvement Association is the Boardwalk Empire spin-off yin to Breaking Bad's Better Call Saul yang.

Wordy Old Men on Boardwalk Empire: Season Four, Episode Ten "White Horse Pike"

This week's episode saw Chalky make a run at Dr. Narcisse, Nucky find out that Masseria was using his trucks to smuggle heroin, and Chalky barely escaping the episode with his life after Bader turned on Nucky.

Wordy Ginters: Does anything portend turmoil more definitively than clouds in your coffee? With the opening shot of a half-bearded Eli, his creamy cup of coffee, and a not so subtle nod to Carly Simon, you knew shit was going to get stirred up in White Horse Pike.

You had me several years ago when I was still naïve / Well you said that we made such a pretty pair and that you would never leave / But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me / I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee / Clouds in my coffee… -Carly Simon

Fuck Warren Beatty. And his brother Ned. Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” will forever more serve as the coda for the Daughter Maitland and Dr. Narcisse in my mind.

Old Man Duggan: Indeed. That's at least two episodes this season that started on a close-up of a cup of coffee. I suppose this shot was intended to strike a chord about two disparate things mixing together. Different races working together. Men and women working together. Heroin and booze coming together more fully in the vice-peddling in organized crime. A lot of new political wrinkles getting worked in this week.

WG: The episode was primarily concerned with asymmetrical deal-making. Capone jamming a succession plan down Torrio’s throat. Knox with his hand up Eli’s ass (at the breakfast table! Is nothing sacred? Breakfast for fuck’s sake. The meal that projects the coziest Norman Rockwell vibe of all family feeding times). Rothstein using Margaret to get over on his Anaconda Realty investment. Nucky using the open grave gambit to claim a piece of the heroin pie via Lansky. But by far the most compelling storyline (other than the Harrow/Chalky hand-shake, which was nearly as iconic as seeing Armstrong walk on the moon) was the love triangle between Chalky, Nucky, and Narcisse. Did you think Chalky was going to get out of the episode alive?

OMD: For a second, I was worried, but then I realized there were two more episodes left, which leaves far too much time before the season's end to kill off a character as central to the show as Chalky. I'm not entirely sure how Nucky manages to extract Narcisse from the heroin dealings without infuriating Joe Masseria, however. I loved the alleyway handshake. I can't say I was expecting for Harrow's job to be dishwasher/wound-dresser. The scene I liked even more, though, was tea-time with Margaret and Rothstein. There was something sort of sweet about the whole thing. I, for one, was happy to see Margaret get a little bit of something for herself, and I loved that she saw her boss for the crook he is. Different shades of crooks, but it definitely seemed like there was a message about Wall Street hidden deftly between the lines there.

WG: How bad-ass was Chalky with a US flag for a sling?

OMD: Almost as bad-ass as him strangling that fucko deputy with it. Those shitbirds got what was coming to 'em. I loved that Chalky was concerned with whether or not using the red, white, and blue was gauche. Always concerned with social convention that Chalky.

WG: TV rarely gets more satisfying than the question Nucky levels at Narcisse: “There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you. Who the fuck do you think you are?” It was nice that Winter gave the audience a trail of bread crumbs--Willie with the nicely-timed info, telling Nucky that he saw Narcisse consorting with Bader--to reassure us that Nucky didn’t actually sell out Chalky like he appeared to in his deal with Masseria, Lansky, and Narcisse. Winter has allowed Nucky to be a stone-cold bastard before, namely by offing Jimmy Darmody at the end of Season Two. It would have been ballsy to allow Nucky to offload his relationship with Chalky for 1/3 of the heroin trade. Viewer anarchy. Other than Harrow, I’m not sure there is a more popular character.

OMD: Definitely. Unlike Darmody though, Chalky has always been loyal to Nucky, even if their relationship has been strained a few times. Darmody got too big for his britches and tried to make a move on Nucky. You come at the king, you best not miss. Given Jimmy's transgressions, he had to go. Chalky has had Nucky's back whenever he's needed it. I just hope Chalky doesn't think Nucky turned on him, something he could certainly ascertain from the deputies trying to off him. I'm just glad Chalky was paying attention to where they were going. Were he one of those passengers who simply sit in the car without paying how they're getting where they're going any mind, Chalky'd be taking a dirt nap right now.

WG: I admire Al Capone’s unconventional taste in prostitutes, Torrio set him up, right? I loved how Capone was trying to convince himself that Torrio’s timely exit was good luck rather than skeezy double-cross planning. Right? Right?

OMD: Yeah, I honestly don't know if that was Johnny Torrio's doing or if it was the Irish striking back. I guess given the presence of the Al's line about Torrio being lucky to have not been there, we must assume that the line has more significance than for Torrio to have not had anything to do with the HawthoRNe, sorry force of habit, Hawthorne getting lit up. I'm going to refrain from looking at Torrio's Wikipedia page so as to not spoil anything for myself. As for the prostitutes, different strokes, especially when it comes to Al Capone.

WG: The hotel that got shot to shit was the Hawthorne Inn. Capone’s home base is in Cicero. Cicero remains to this day the home of Hawthorne Park, the asshole of the Chicago horse racing circuit. As a degenerate horse racing fan, the only thing that would tickle me more than some horse racing angle on Boardwalk Empire is if Nucky asks Narcisse who the fuck he thinks he is one more time.

OMD: I know you still light your nightly prayer candle for Luck. I hope Nucky asks Narcisse who the fuck he is while he's capping him. Nucky doesn't get his hands dirty often, but he may make an exception for Narcisse. Speaking of Thompson's capping their aggravators, I wouldn't be surprised to see Eli putting a bullet in the back of Tolliver's head.

WG: Speaking of non-sequiturs, if the scenes from next week are to be believed, Lou Gossett Jr. makes an appearance as Chalkie’s old man. I hope it serves as a launching pad for you to wax poetic about Enemy Mine.

OMD: Now I'm not sure if you're yanking my chain or whether you knew that I had, in fact, written about Enemy Mine before. Sadly, I'm not sure how I can gracefully segue from this episode into a lengthy comparison between Enemy Mine and Brokeback Mountain.

Your Favorite TV Shows: Zombie Edition

Well folks, Craig and I haven’t littered the interwebs with any pop culture psychobabble in a while, so we are making an epic return, discussing some of our favorite TV shows as if they underwent the impending zombie apocalypse. After all, The Walking Dead is hell-bent on shoving ghost Lorie down our throats, so we thought instead of ripping on the flaws of The Walking Dead we would create hypothetical zombie apocalypses of our own.

Craig Scholes: UGGGHHH!!!! Why did you even have to mention Lorie? Nobody even liked that bitch when she was alive; but, yeah, I’m kind of jealous I didn't have this idea to use on my podcast. CROSS PROMOTION! If only we knew famous comedians to plug our work, then we could have a David Cross Promotion.

Stan Earnest: Yes folks, Craig has a podcast. If you want to hear about condors meeting their demise in the grates of Chevy Blazers or vehicles missing their steering wheels in Taco Bell parking lots and the such, have a listen.

CS: Hey, we also talk about dirty toilets... but anyway. To continue with our "theme" as you astutely pointed out to me via text message: a Breaking Bad Zombie Apocalypse has some amazing potential for epic badassery. Hold up, let me get the door… I ordered Chinese for supper. They told me it would take 45 minutes, and it was here in less than seven.

SE: Them Chinese work hard...or should I say wok hard? We are going to be taking bad puns to a whole new level this time around.

CS: Wok Hard: The Ming Cox Story

SE: So should we inform our audience where we have been at lately?

CS: Sure, I've been on an expedition in lower Estonia hunting Chupacabras.

SE: Ok, well then, I can’t beat that. I’ve just been trying to feed my family. Since y’all know us as the Breaking Bad guys we better touch on that show first. We do know that Walt and Jesse have plenty of gas masks, so they could survive any airborne zombie virus, although I'm not quite certain how The Walking Dead virus works. You can basically fuck a zombie without contracting anything, but if one scratches you, you're dead.

CS: Right, can you imagine Walt and Jesse navigating a post-apocalyptic world in the Crystal Ship?

SE: Oh man, Skyler would totally turn to the blue. She wouldn't be able to handle it. Speaking of which... Walt and Jesse would have a whole new clientele. Zombies are typically slow; imagine the damage they could do on meth.

CS: Would this transform, say Walking Dead "walkers”, into superfast running Zombies, say like Rage-induced-28-Days-Later mode?

SE: Flynn would have a hell of a time outrunning those monsters. So is he the first to go?

CS: Cripple McDipshit doesn't stand a chance, but he is the obvious answer. It would probably be someone like Beneke.

SE: Oh, holy shit. Zombie-Robocop-Max-Headroom Benecke. YES!

CS: If Breaking Bad follows The Walking Dead model, they take the two most annoying women and make them last seemingly forever. Is Skyler the Lorie character, or the Andrea character?

SE: Hmmm, she is kind of a mix of the both of them.

CS: Right. Heck she is even a little bit of Crazy Rick.

SE: Walt is most definitely Shane, in that he would understand the situation and immediately celebrate Darwinian science.

CS: I'd say he is a cross between Rick and Shane; or: Walt is Rick, and Heisenberg is Shane.

SE: I would love to see Saul in the zombie apocalypse. He would be hiding out in his lair, freaked to the max, and be forced to sleep with his clerks.

CS: Or Saul could wind up being very crafty in that type of situation. He is pretty sketchy at taking advantage of shitty situations Clearly Gustavo would be the Governor right?

SE: Stole the words right from my zombiefied brain. Problem is that the Governor is so careless. Gus was the antipathy of carelessness. One thing is for sure, Gus is already ready for the apocalypse. He doesn't even need any more makeup.

CS: How would Gale go about making his sweet coffee of the gods in the Zombie apocalypse?

SE: Oh man, he would have a team of zombies brewing it for him. Just like Bernard or whatever the name of that dumbfuck scientist the Governor employs is.

CS: Oh man, Tuco Salamanca... Merle! Zero common sense, kind of a bad ass, and has a hair trigger.

SE: Ok, well, my top 5 final survivors would be: Walt (he would probably offer the baby up for zombie feed before he got got), Jesse (just because we would want never ending "Yeah, bitches!"), Saul (crafty), Hank, and my one wildcard pick: Marie. Marie would be at peace with all the looting she could accomplish.

CS: Seems solid, what if we applied the Zombie Apocalypse to other shows... say Arrested Development. Could you imagine GOB trying to outrun zombies on his Segway all whilst having lighter fluid shooting out his sleeves on the way to the Aztec Tomb?

SE: He could hide for years in the Aztec Tomb. Talk about cross promotion: the Aztek! The Pontiac Aztek already is a zombie though.

CS: How long could Lucile survive in her penthouse with nothing but Vodka?

SE: A long time, that cunt is pickled, and I see the dumb brother surviving out of pure luck.

CS: Well Buster IS A MONSTER, with his hooked hand. We also would get to see Buster making good use of his Cartography skills deciphering maps and ultimately getting them in worse situations.

SE: Zombie The Fonz would be classic.

CS: You know even after becoming Zombiefied he'd still have a greased pompadour. We'd also get to see the classic scene where Zombie Fonz gets hit with a baseball bat, and he falls into a jukebox and it comes on.

SE: What about Seinfeld? Jerry would last forever on his cereal stash. And zombie Kramer would be a riot.

CS: What’s the deal with all these walkers? I mean it’s like they aren't even human!

You know Costanza would become a Zombie in the first 5 minutes of the first episode, probably from licking an envelope.

SE: I don't know, I think he would be crafty like a cockroach and survive, if only to annoy the rest of the survivors. Although they could have a recurring theme where he starts out unzombiefied every episode and then turns at some point in each one.

CS: Costanza would be the guy to get infected in the first episode, but it takes him 7 seasons to fully turn and you get to hear about him bitch about how awful it is the entire time.

SE: Full disclosure: George Costanza is on my Mount Rushmore of favorite TV characters.

CS: It doesn't really matter who is on your Rushmore of TV Characters because Ron Swanson would be the guy to carve it.

SE: Walter White, George Costanza, Al Swearengen, and Omar, carved by Swanson. I have a thing for insufferable bastards. The Wire? We shouldn't even discuss that one; they are all survivors on that show. What about Mad Men? They would have very few tokens to kill off; a main character would die weekly.

CS: All I know about Zombie Wire, is that Omar wouldn't die... ever. Mad Men, I think they are all pretty soft in reality. Roger Sterling and Don Draper are the only two with any stones at all in that show. The rest of them are just a bunch of office yuppies. Pete wouldn't last a day. Lane would have bare knuckle brawled his way through some shit though.

SE: Betsy is clearly the Lorie character and would last about 50 episodes too long.

CS: Peggy is a survivor. I just hope we at some point in Mad Men Zombie spinoff still get to see epic Alexis Bledel sideboob.

SE: Evil, droopy, zombie side boob.

CS: Seems like we would at least have to mention Zombie Full House.

SE: Cut. It. Out.

CS: Zombie John Stamos would still be a solid 8 on the man pretty scale

SE: If there is TV in the zombie apocalypse, it would be nothing but Full House reruns. I mean it is about all you need: family oriented with a little spank material and you can always bag on Bob Saget.

CS: Can you imagine how much nasty saggy titty they would show on The Walking Dead if it were on HBO? It would be a thousand times worse than all the dudity and awkward boob shots that they show in Game of Thrones.

SE: You just gave me a horrifying thought: Zombie Girls.

CS: [SHUDDER]

SE: At least they could sew Ned Stark's head back on, and he could remain in rule. I would pay pay-per-view money to see Ned Stark behead that guitarist from the band fun. that the girl from Girls is dating or whatever.

CS: The band fun. makes me want to kick puppies...shelter houses full of puppies. There actually would probably be less killing in Game of Thrones if it were a zombie show.

SE: It drives me crazy that there are no animals on The Walking Dead. I want a fucking zombie squirrel goddamnit.

CS: ZOMBIE DRAGONS! Also I can't believe The Walking Dead hasn't snuck any Cranberries into the soundtrack. Could you imagine Zombie Office? At least then we would have Andy Bernard singing some Cranberries.

SE: I think we are missing possibly the greatest crossover show ever: Zombie MacGyver!

CS: Wouldn't MacGyver be able to solve the Zombie Apocalypse problem with some toe nail clippers, a wet napkin and an empty tube of toothpaste?

SE: I'm thinking he would become the all-time zombie death total leader.

CS: But it still wouldn't be as epic as Woody from Cheers crossing paths with Woody from Zombieland.

SE: They can cure themselves from zombiefication by pickling their bodies with expired Hostess products and Old Style.

PS:
CS:  If you care to check out my podcast you can do so here

Tube Steak: Terriers News, Catch The Hour Sunday

I usually don't post anything on weekends, and I sure as hell don't post something as brief as this, but these things matter too much.

First off, it looks like Terriers may get a second shot after all. Two-hour movie. Series. Whatever. I just want more Hank and Britt and give zero shits how I get it. If they do go the Kickstarter route, pony up, jerks. And if you haven't already done so, get off your ass (or on your ass) and watch yourself some Terriers. It's truly one of the best shows of the past five years.

And in airing this weekend news, The Audience Network (available to only DirecTV subscribers) is airing all six episodes of The Hour*, the spectacular BBC drama about a television news program in 1956, complete with an exploration of gender inequality in the workplace and government censorship of the news media in the U.K. with a healthy dose of espionage added to the mix.

*Proper write-up coming soonish.

You can catch The Hour, starting at 2:00 PM ET/1:00 PM CT on Sunday, September 2nd.

Do it. It's got McNulty.

Breaking Down: Breaking Bad - Season Four, Episodes Nine through Twelve

In the homestretch run of Season Four of Breaking Bad Walt suspects he is losing grip on Jesse, plants a bug on his car, tosses the evidence to Jesse, and Jesse tosses it back. Skyler enlists the services of Saul Goodman to handle a sticky situation with Beneke, and Ted takes the high road. Meanwhile, the cartel is not cutting Gus any slack, so Gus seemingly caves and takes a trip south with Mike and Jesse as his wingmen. After Jesse demonstrates his mad cooking skills, Gus orchestrates his maneuver involving poisonous tequila, effectively removing the last inheritors of the Salamanca clan. Upon his glorious return, Gus tries his best to intimidate a disgruntled Walt, but Walt ignores the ploy. As Hank and family remain cuddled up at home with the DEA, Walt plots his way out of imminent danger. 

Tune in next week for the recap of the final episode along with predictions and commentary on the upcoming Season Five.

These guys clearly haven't seen Tremors, find a giant rock, stat!

Stan Earnest: These last few episodes of Season Four pack a heavy punch. The only complaint I have is the opening to "Bug", a wink at Season Three's episode titled "Fly" that has a much different flight pattern (see Craig, these episode titles are great). We already know Walt is going to get curb-stomped by Jesse when he shows up at his house, but again, it's not so much about if or when, but how with Breaking Bad. Professor Plum, in the living room, with a monitoring device to the face, that's how.

Craig Scholes: Speaking of the opening to the episode “Bug”, what do you think Old Man Duggan's stance is on dudes wearing moccasins? Did you find it odd that Beneke's Geo Metro had keyless entry?

SE: We definitely have to get a ruling from the Old Man, because there might be an exclusion for the suede, dressy look. I think you were right about Walt's fighting style; it's one part Tyson ear bite and two parts Rowdy Roddy Piper, and after getting thrown into his own household fixtures by Walter White, Pinkman might want reconfigure his fighting stance also. They looked like the Bushwhackers turning on each other.

CS: If Walt and Jesse are the Bushwackers, which one licks the other one's armpit? You want to know what has bugged me more than anything? The fact that Gus is this worldly guy who clearly dabbles in all the finer things--it is apparent he is fond of cooking and enjoys gourmet food--yet the guy can't use a knife properly at all.

SE: I don't care how poorly he uses a knife, I still want some of that Chilean soup that he cooks, sans ricin. What did you think of him walking into the sniper spray Terminator-style? Jesse just standing there is definitely a real thing, dangerous situations tax the hell out of cognitive functions. A plethora of accounts of disasters involve victims that had plenty of time to escape but froze and failed to make it out alive. We see this unfold on television daily it seems. I understand Jesse turning into a fainting goat, but something about humans I have never understood is the want to be close to disaster. There was a giant building fire in my town recently. I was trying to take all the back roads and alleys I could to escape any traffic that would force me into the fumes of the fire. I saw it from a ways away, so I was able to take a route downwind and witnessed people literally walking out their front doors and heading directly to the site to witness the carnage. It was as if the fire was a giant spectator magnet, sucking people into its field. Hell, I'm surprised they weren't doing the snake crawl from the Season Three opener. As I got blocked in traffic, I saw hundreds of people just sitting on the town square, gladly ingesting the massive balls of brownish smog released by the blaze.

I guess in a way it parallels what has happened to Walt; he has been sucked into becoming a monster. Disaster is imminent, but his course remains the same. Nothing says "screw lung cancer" like sharing a cigarette with Jesse (not really). I can't decide if he was just trying to manipulate Jesse, or if he was really just having a to-hell-with-life moment.

CS: On one hand it's pretty bad ass that Gus challenged him like that, on the other he knew they couldn't shoot him; not that I have the cojones to test a sniper like that. There was a building in my hometown that recently went ablaze, and I remember wondering how many man hours they were wasting just to trying to keep the peace so people could do their job.

Gilligan and crew sure love themselves some shitty cars. If my parents bought me a PT Cruiser, I can't say that I would have been happy. On a trip to San Francisco once, I reserved a rental car only to find out that it wasn't available upon my arrival. I had the option to drive a PT Cruiser but chose instead to pay a little extra for a Mustang.

"Yo Avon, I found the phone booth, but I don't see Bill & Ted anywhere."

SE: I laughed like a little school girl when I saw the PT Cruiser. Not only is the average age of PT drivers upwards of 60, but it is sky blue. Talk about having a pulse on the younger generation. At least she could have found a black or red one, but hey, it comes with a CD player Junior! So much for Mom understanding technology; I doubt she knew that the Challenger had an iPod port. Speaking of technology in a television series, are we ever going to see a smart phone? How many times are Gus and Saul going to snap flip phones in half and toss them in the trash? It reminds me of watching The Wire when the cops undercover team was so intrigued that the criminals were now using high-tech cellphones to receive newfangled messages that didn't require conversation. Nowadays when I see someone using a Tracfone, deductive reasoning takes hold. There are only three things a Tracfone is used for: 1) the person cannot pass the faintest credit check to get a regular cell, 2) the person is cheating on a partner, 3) or the person is engaging in clandestine activities. I am pretty sure Hank uses the same basic sleuthing technique.

CS: You forgot the fourth option: there are some Tracphones that cost $40 a month for unlimited calls, texts and data. Having said that, I've made that Wire connection too, probably easier to destroy a phone if you aren't having to shell out a couple Benjamins every time.

I love the way Jesse shows up the Mexican chemists by the way.

SE: The best part of that was the look on Gus's and Mike's faces. I can't even image the look that would have come across Walt's face if he would have seen that scumtacular lab, talk about bitter-beer face. Walt would be shark bait in under a week with Don Eladio running the gig.

I was happy to see a plot line that put Skyler in Walt's shoes. We know she hasn't been squeaky clean and consequences are inevitable. If Walt's alter-ego is Heisenberg, the developer of the uncertainty principle, then what could possibly be the name of Skyler's act as a busty bimbo that dabbles in The Quicken?

CS: More than likely Walt would have been given a little more benefit of the doubt. It is very possible that part of the reason that Walt's meth is so "pure" is because of how meticulous they are at keeping their lab free of contaminants (see what I did there).

It didn't take Skyler much prodding to get her to go full-on sketchy, did it?

SE: Never underestimate the power of the postnatal hormonal flux. I like how all the pieces fit together for madness to happen. Walt is in hiding, drowning himself in pain pills and whatever beer he drinks (Molson? Amstel Light?). I am surprised he wasn't having a White Russian after wearing that Southwestern robe straight out of The Dude's closet. Or maybe it's a stiff cocktail, because he is totally Don Draper-ing Skyler with his disappearing acts. It inadvertently gives him power of control over her, but it also leaves her brain churning to keep up with Walt's style of taking care of problems, turning to Saul and his "A" team.

CS: Speaking of "A" team, BILL FUCKING BURR! He's had a pretty small part so far, but he has absolutely NAILED it. I’m not as big a fan of the rather large black fellow that accompanies him, but he plays the part okay.

SE: Fun fact: when the writing crew had some down time or was feeling uninspired during Season Four, they would fire up the ole YouTube and watch Bill Burr clip after Bill Burr clip. He is quite the enigma. Judging from the stand-up clips, I would have never imagined he could just sledgehammer that role so well. I didn't even recognize him the first time he showed up giving the business to Eyebrows McGee. Huell is also a comedian, the lesser known Lavell Crawford. Another fun fact: the name Huell was inspired by television personality Huell Howser. At first, I wasn't a big Huell fan, but in the scene with Beneke he really comes through. I like that he fits really well with Saul. I just don't see Saul employing a serious bodyguard, as he is deathly afraid of Mike. Something really weird I've noticed on second viewing is that Huell and Kuby are both wearing purple in Saul's office, Gus is also wearing purple in the last few episodes, and Marie has her house just plastered in purple, but maybe it's just Hank's favorite color.

CS: Marie was also wearing purple when she got busted being a klepto at the open houses.

It pisses me off how slimey Beneke is. How could you justify buying a new Benz when you owed the government $617K and change. And then for him to say he has to get his business going. Buying a new Mercedes isn't exactly overhead. What a fucking clown.

SE: Teddy knows exactly what he is doing. Skyler, like Walt, was too naive and prideful to not let Ted know where the money came from. If Saul thinks it's a bad idea, chances are it is a pretty bad idea. She wised up all quick like because Ted was definitely trying to blackmail her, or at least push her in a direction back into his slimy, scaled hands.

I got a question for you: do you think that Gus ever thought at any point that Walt was tipping Hank off, or was he merely using the Hank snooping plot to convince Jesse that Walt was a problem? I thought it was a nice touch that the viewer doesn't know if Gus can hear Walt through the camera.

CS: I actually don't think Ted was blackmailing Skyler. I think he instead was just trying to justify being a selfish moron.

No, I don't think Gus was of the impression that he was tipping off Hank. Mainly because of how terrified he was when Hank wanted Walt to lo-jack his car. And yeah, since Gus is such a master schemer he clearly took advantage of the hand he was dealt.

SE: Another question: is it winter like year around in Albuquerque? Because Jesse sure likes his hoodies and Walt sure likes jackets. Seems like the heat is really played up in the day shots and cold is really played up in the night shots. I've never gotten down in the ABQ, but by the series, it seems I need to pack heavy.

I wonder what kind of a plan Gus had in place if he didn't make it out of Mexico alive. I am sure he has some ten page under-the-table will worked out where his operation gets handed down to somebody, or at least covered up and the money split up. The guy sure had a plan for Don Eladio and crew, the riskiest move he'll ever make. After surviving that madness, he knows he is on borrowed time. I loved that he was sly enough to avoid Pinkman getting got by the specially hand-crafted anejo, and telling the remaining folks to raid the mansion and leave was a classy move.

CS: Well sand doesn't really hold any heat, so there are massive temperature fluctuations when the sun goes down. Fun story, I have a cousin from the same southeastern region of Kansas I'm from who moved to Los Angeles to go to UCLA. After a couple years, he decided to come home for Christmas. He flew into Kansas City wearing shorts, sandals, and a tank top because he forgot it got cold in the Midwest.

I dunno, but it was pretty ballsy to spike tequila with Iocane powder without properly immunizing himself against it.

Gus has been watching The Princess Bride

SE: You know what poison Gus used? Remind me to never piss you off. Whatever he spiked it with, he did take some pill for it beforehand while reminiscing about his boy Max next to the pool.

I just want to go on record as saying that the end to Episode Eleven, "Crawl Space", is the most ominous ending of a television show I can remember, and nothing else is even close. It's weird to think that four years of Breaking Bad is only like ten months in Walt time. It's easy to forget that Walt hasn't made that much money yet, so plucking out some change for a car wash and Teddy Beneke's mistakes put a dent in the meth fortune. The writer's strike deep, dark oil once again with Walt maniacally laughing Syd Barrett style as the camera pans out to some wicked Reznoresque backing track while Maria flips out on the answering machine. I can't get that menacing camera shot out of my head. Walt has done the most awful of things to set his family up for a future, and Teddy's got his money now while he is up a creek, sans paddle. Now that is a Swayze-sized Road House karate chop the ole beanbag.

CS: Not only has Walt not earned a totally obscene amount of money yet, but Skyler and him haven't exactly been really careful with the money, giving tons of it to Hank and Marie, buying a car wash, burning it in a grill, torching a Dodge Challenger, oh and then there is still the massive cancer treatment debt they started in.

SE: And then we find Walter next to the pool spinning his .38 of fate, contemplating a way out. There is no way you don't like the Apollo Sunshine song during that scene, aptly titled "We Are Born When We Die", hearkening to a Season One, Episode One Walt beginning his new double life.

CS: I meh that song. I wouldn't ever actively listen to it on my own, but on the other hand I wouldn't turn it off when it came on.

I could have sworn Jesse was present when Gus drug Walt out into the desert to threaten him, but clearly he wasn't.

SE: Yeah, there is no way that Gus would have let Jesse hear him threaten Walt's baby daughter; he knows Jesse is a big softy.

Do I even need to mention how awesome it was that the Aztek took on even more brutality? If you're ever going to dress up as Heisenberg for Halloween, I won't get it unless you're driving an Aztek with body damage. Now that would be a scary look. Do you think Walt saved money by avoiding the high fees of an incognito repairman or will his insurance premiums negate that?

CS: Of course not, the Aztek taking on copious amounts of damage is one of my favorite things about the show. I think the Aztek is finally dead, because he is driving some sort of white station wagon mini van hybrid thing, something like a Pontiac Vibe or some sort of Honda.

You don't want to wear moccasins in this lab.

SE: I am really hoping that it is a rental, because I am rooting for a glorious return by the Aztek, but judging by the new poster for Season Five, Walt is going to be driving a new Mercedes S Class.

So we end these episodes with yet another Jesse and Walt confrontation ending in Walt building, of all things, a car bomb. Full-on criminal Heisenberg is pretty much everyday Walt at this point. What did you make of Gus's spidey sense to avoid Walt's trap?

CS: Yeah, there is no way that Aztek is going to be brought back. Maybe when it was totaled out Walt bought back a salvaged title or something, and we'll get a chance to just see it sitting in the street from time to time.

I think Gus's sixth sense was a little ridiculous to be honest, but I guess its not too far-fetched for someone as meticulous as Gus to take all precautions. Makes you wonder though, how many times he has changed course for no reason. Do you think his muscle just thinks he is crazy?

SE: His muscle probably never gets anything in direct message from him, so I guarantee they think he is a quack. You know, there was a monstrous fuss on the net about Gus avoiding his car, but I think it is warranted. He knows Walt is after him. He thinks he has turned Jesse, but he isn't positive. The talk he had with Jesse was very strange. Gus was likely just thinking about how weird it was that Jesse said that someone poisoned Brock but didn't mention anything other than that really. Jesse really didn't play his hand very well at all. He looked very afraid of Gus. So either Jesse thinks Gus did it and wouldn't say anything or he thinks Walter did it and would then give the go ahead for Gus to off Walt. Gus just figured something was up with that conversation so he avoided his car.

CS: I don't think Jesse gets enough credit for how sharp he is at times though. He may not be the most book smart, but he has plenty of the streets know-how.

So there you have it. The first twelve episodes of Season Four of Breaking Bad. Walt sure has managed to get himself into quite the pickle, and it'll be fun to see how the craziness is resolved. Tune in next week when we break down the finale of Season Four in preparation of the Season Five premiere.

Breaking Down: Breaking Bad - Season Four, Episodes Five Through Eight

The build-up to the last several episodes of Season Four begins with Jesse falling into the good graces with Gus via desert roadtripping with Mike. Walt continues his state of panic, trying to find a way to get to Gus, as he asks Jesse to do his dirty work again, resulting in more failed attempts to use poison. As contempt flairs between Jesse and Walt, Hank's spidey sense has led him to Gustavo Fring, as he petitions Walt to chauffeur his off-the-books investigation. To end these few episodes, a flashback into Gustavo Fring's past reveals a brutal history with the cartel that he continues to battle.

Gus likes his chicken spicy.

Stan Earnest: We fire this puppy back up with the only episode this season that could be considered the character building one, "Shotgun". This time around it's Jesse with Mike, a nice change of pace. Mike is the anti-Walter, although when he clocked him in the bar he didn't implode or spontaneously combust or anything. I think Mike may have mystical powers; he definitely entertains for as little that is said.

Craig Scholes: The more this show goes on, the more I just despise Walt. Dude just needs to shut his hole and keep well enough alone. The idea that Gus is molding Jesse against Walt is fantastic, which, by the way, I totally knew was what they were doing; those shenanigans seemed awfully staged.

SE: Season Four is teeming with style. The weird Mexican techno/rap song during the Pinkman-waiting-for-Mike sequence (apparently he had to hold each pose for a minute to film that), lab vat cam, shovel cam, speeding-out-of-control-Aztek cam, the intense backing score, I love it all, and Gilligan remains cryptic with the show titles having dual meaning as "Open House" refers to both Marie's klepto adventures and Jesse's methed-out abode, along with "Shotgun," which I just realized likely also refers to Pinkman's front seat ride with Mike.

CS: I have a confession, I don't know the name of a single episode. I don't think my acquired episodes even list the titles. Do you think Gilligan is making a conscious decision to say, "Hey, Walt isn't a good guy, so lets make everyone hate him." Walt pretty much throws a four-year-old hissy fit at every turn.

SE: After Season Two's "737 Down Over ABQ", I now make sure I know the episode title before watching the episode, playing along with the game, searching for any clues. The upcoming Season Five starts with an episode titled, "Live Free or Die". If I can deduce anything from that, I must say that someone will likely die in that one. I will confess myself that it is hard for me to critique anything Breaking Bad because the writers have taken the game to such high levels of drama entertainment for me that I now have a hard time finding much wrong with the show. I was only slightly annoyed by Mike exiting the Pollos truck without a sweep or even a peak outside to make sure there were only two cartel muscle-heads and not a third one or a driver. I remember watching The Game with Sean Penn and Michael Douglas and (spoiler alert) thinking that it was a game the whole time, even the fall at the end didn't convince me. That ultimately tainted an otherwise spectacular movie for me. With Breaking Bad, it's different. I don't really care what comes next as long as it sticks to a credible plot line. The writers have sent me down paths that I didn't realize were even possible, such as the Tuco lair destruction, Jane's death and the subsequent plane crash, and Gale's death, so when Season Four rolled around I felt as if it didn't matter if I knew what came next as long as it was executed flawlessly, and I haven't been let down yet. I appreciate not having forced surprises crammed down my throat.

Romancing the clown

With that said and in regards to the Walt hatred, I just think that Gilligan & Co. are weaving the most intriguing story they can whilst keeping some form of reality in mind. They have to turn Walter into a beast to fulfill the mission of the show. Like I've iterated before, Walt letting Jane die in Season Two really bugged me out; I didn't know if I could ever get behind Walter going forward. It is the give and take, the Clockwork Orange effect as I've labeled it: hate, love, and back to hate, a binding of gut responses. There are times when I hate Pinkman and Walter and times when I have a rooting interest in them. The great thing the writers have done is to never sync those two guys up, leaving them in a constant state of flux, which makes for great drama and keeps the emotions of the viewers tangled. At this point, I feel like I am in on the joke and am fully on board with Walt becoming the most disgusting, vile excuse for a human being that ever walked the earth. The writers have put him in situations that have explained how a person could get to this point, and not only that, have created the rare prideful underachiever that would actually be in the situation to act out his hatred towards his previous life failures. Walter is tired of watching the nice guy finish last, and he is clearly celebrating his new role by antagonizing Hank and scaring the bejesus out of his wife. He is no longer afraid to let Skyler know he is the "one who knocks" because telling her he drinks her milkshake just sounds like a mammary fetish.

CS: I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't like the way the show ends, but then again I feel that way about most shows.

How can Walt be so independent yet be so fucking helpless?

SE: My biggest fear is that the show will either whimper to its finale or just go bonkers, jumping the shark in a lead fridge. What was the last great show that ended well? They all go either too long or southbound and down in the second season. Even The Wire's last season was likely its weakest.

As far as Walt being so strong yet such an emotional weakling, I think that comes from his juxtaposition as a married man. I am happily married, but it comes with patience, tolerance, and a lot of bitten tongues. There are so many times in a marriage where the man is just stripped of his masculinity. It seems every year I miss the NFL draft for a baby shower or wedding or something. This may sound like a complaint, but it is what makes her happy, which makes us happy. As much as Walt thinks he is a bad ass, at this point he is still commanded by Skyler. He may try to wave his supposed dominance around, but he knows without Skyler and his family he is nothing.

CS: Friday Night Lights, fantastic last season, phenomenal last episode. But if this is the case with Walt, why doesn't he just walk away? He clearly has passed the tipping point of ever going back to normal life.

SE: He may be so depraved that he now wants his cake and some ice cream too, and some caramel and chocolate and glazed pecans, maybe some chocolate-covered pretzels. Then again Walt probably rocks the fro-yo, or at least Skyler probably keeps it as the only frozen treat stocked. You see, I loathe Applebee's and my wife loves it, so guess where we eat? I prefer Casey's pizza to Pizza Hut by a long shot, but guess where we order from? But you leave me to my own vices, and I'm eating Casey's slop and waking up face down in a pool of stale popcorn too. Walt wants to be Heisenberg full-time, but he has to be a father to a new-born also and that requires Skyler's happiness, so he drags his sorry ass back home and changes some diapers.

CS: You kinda get the feeling that Walt doesn't want to move back too. He's gotten a taste of being free out from under Skyler and he doesn't seem like he wants to go back. Not to mention all the Beneke mugs to remind him of his wife trying to hurt him.

SE: Man, I really want to see a Beneke vs. Walter cage match, although Beneke would probably just run in circles struck by fear while Walt chased him with a metal chair. Maybe Saul could be special guest referee. One of my favorite television show characters of all-time is Larry David, either as himself in Curb Your Enthusiasm or as his character on Seinfeld, George Costanza, played with flawlessness by Jason Alexander. Cranston seems to have the Larry David anti-charm down, like when he convinces the ladies working at the laundry mat to clean the lab equipment. That scene gave me some old school chuckles.

CS: I think Beneke can take him to be honest. 

SE: Walt has spent days in desert heat while undergoing chemo and survived. He made the pilgrimmage out of Tuco's desert shack without water also, and let's not forget that he punked that high school kid teasing his son in the first season. I don't know about Walt, but if Heisenberg shows up, my money is on him.

To switch gears, please tell me you found some joy in the Dodge Challenger subplot.

CS: Oh definitely, and for the record I do love that car, it’s the anti-Aztek. Flynn played Walt like a fiddle, too. I am a little disappointed that Flynn didn't stick with a fastback Mustang though. Two seasons ago, Walt would never have tried to slip something like that past Skyler; Walt clearly has no fucks left to give.

Of course the scene I got the most joy out of was Jesse handing the tweaker a shovel and basically telling him to dig to China. The only thing that would have been more entertaining would have been if he just gave him one of those cards that said, "How do you keep an idiot busy, turn over."

SE: It was like Christmas as a kid waiting to see what vehicle Skyler switched Junior too. The writers drew the wait out too; it doesn't even happen in these four eps. So, how far did your jaw drop when you realized Hank had fully connected the dots on Chilean national Gustavo Fring?

CS: To be honest, I wasn't that surprised. Over the course of the run Gilligan and his crew did a fantastic job on the slow reveal of Hank not being a complete moron. So when you combine that with Hank literally having nothing elae to do other than shitting himself, especially once Hank had the realization of it being adored that Gale had the Pollos napkin, it was inevitable.

SE: Yeah, it was a slow reveal; I was being a bit dramatic. I just loved the scene that ended "Problem Dog" where Hank throws down his sleuthing skills at the DEA office. Gomez is now sporting the Walt beard; at this point I don't trust him or the director.

CS: I don't trust either of those guys as of right now. I don't trust any of them other than Hank to be honest, especially since we still haven't found out who the cartel's connection is in the police department. I love how smug Hank was as he was dropping the truthitude on the fuzz.

SE: Moving on to "Hermanos", we have a lot to talk about here. The episode brings us the back story of Gus and contrasts it with modern-day Gus. Once again, the writers inject a sense of humanity into a stone-cold killer. Giancarlo Esposito really shines. If you ever think you are going to be questioned for a crime, just study the scene where Gus makes the DEA his bitch.

CS: I wish that when they film the pure Spanish scenes that they would do them in the style of those wacky, super cheesy, over the top, ridiculously amazing Latino soap operas. Breaking Bad has done a fantastic job of establishing how each character got to where they are. Gus clearly is an amazing business man with a very savvy mind... and he's definitely gay.

Not even oxygen can stave off the spicy chicken flatulence.

SE: Yeah, you stole my thunder. He is totally Boy-George-sipping-an-appletini gay. I suspected it from the beginning, then it was reinforced by having Walt over for dinner in his huge house without any family presence, and then a non-stroked Tio confirmed it with his subtle jokes before Don Eladio terrifies the "hermanos". One doesn't put in 20-hour workdays running both above-ground and a below-ground businesses with a woman at his side, a big reason Walter is having trouble competing with Gus. The backstory definitely provides the motive for Gus to seek revenge on the cartel. I love that he taunts old man Tio in the nursing home. I imagine that if you wrong my family, I'm coming at you every bit a filthy as Gustavo Fring.

CS: To be honest, I never saw it coming until a coworker pointed it out to me, I even swore he had a family in that house of his. Boy was I wrong. For what its worth, I have access to a hog farm, I'll just leave it at that.

SE: Fun fact: Gus's partner, Max Arciniega, is the name of the actor that played Krazy 8 in Season One. Are you picking up on all the dualities Season Four is pushing, or am I just a homer? The aforementioned "Open House" and "Shotgun" meanings along with "Hermanos" meaning more than brothers--and the obvious chicken joint reference-- the Walt/Skyler conversations on how to commence with criminal action that mimic the Walt/Jesse conversations of Season One, Skyler saying she needs "complete honesty" and then taking the Walt White route with Hank and Marie and eventually Walt, the contrast of Walt telling Junior about the choices he has made and then seeing Skyler flip a coin and make a choice at the Four Corners--harkening the "flip a coin" line from the recent ending of Boardwalk Empire. Hell, even the sandwiches the cartel chow on from the Pollos truck driver to the Pimento sandwich Mike offers Jesse later in the same episode, everything comes in twos in Season Four, and I like the meaning that isn't so subtle but isn't over-the-top.

See you next week when we discuss Gus's warfare with the cartel and a renegade Walter White at the same time. 

Breaking Down: Season Three of Breaking Bad - Part Two

In the last episode we covered, Hank went all John Rambo on the Salamanca twins. The last half of Season Three brings us plenty of more drama. Walt brings aboard Pinkman to replace Gale in the super lab to avoid litigation against Hank. Meanwhile Walt can’t escape the hospital visiting room where his family is waiting on word of Hank’s health, thus casting his web of lies to include Gus, who is not impressed. Gus makes an appearance at the hospital much to Walt’s surprise, and this sets up a meeting at the chicken coop in which Walt reveals that he understands Gus’s brash business tactics, and accepts a continuous supply of cash to continue production of the “blue.” Jesse starts dating a fellow rehabber and haphazardly discovers the killer of his comrade Combo, the gal’s kid brother. This prompts a confrontation between Team Gus and Team Walt. The child drug dealer is then murdered, prompting revenge at the hands--or shall I say hood--of the Pontiac Aztek. As Walt is left with no other option but to protect his life by making himself the only meth chemist Gus has access to, he petitions Jesse to give a knock on Gale’s door. 

As we near the start of Season Five (one month away, hooray!), we will be shortening the span of the episodes we cover. Look for a break down of the first few episodes of Season Four next Friday.

Stan Earnest: The latter half of Season Three starts with bad Jesse. I really despise the role acceptance of Jesse Pinkman as he diverges into evil, celebrating Hank's critical condition, which really speaks to Aaron Paul's acting chops. Never thought I would be saying this at this point, but Paul can stand toe-to-toe with Cranston. Just brilliant acting all around.

Craig Scholes: In all fairness if you were in Jesse's shoes there, wouldn't you get a little bit of schadenfreude joy there too? I mean Hank essentially turned Jesse into the stunt double for Sloth from The Goonies. In contrast of spiteful Jesse, I also love the scene where Jesse clowns around in the lab waiting on Walt to get back from the ER, further proof of Aaron Paul's acting chops.

SE: Breaking Bad just speaks to me in ways other shows don't. My first college roommate was like this smart, prankster version of Jeff Spicoli that listened to either Alice in Chains, Grateful Dead, or gangster rap, nothing else. He introduced me to a lot of good stuff, including my favorite song at the time that I had never heard before: "Shimmy Shimmy Ya" by Ol' Dirty Bastard, the song during the aforementioned Pinkman scene. But why wouldn't Breaking Bad use an ODB song? That guy was the epitome of bad; his FBI profile circulating on the internet is quite exquisite. You've got to feel bad for Gale though, being at the top of your game and getting ousted for Jesse Pinkman, but the ho-hum work of an amicable Walt/Gale relationship doesn't spell drama the same way Jesse and Walt spell it.

CS: Yeah I imagine an entire season of Walt complementing Gale on how amazing his coffee is just wouldn't be the same. How great is it when Walt finds out he can't get one by Gus. Painstakingly going out of his way to create this intricate web of lies to try and throw off Gus, only for Gus to show up at the hospital and blow Walt's mind. I also really love how cool Gus plays it in the hospital, telling Walt he also hides in plain sight, then calmly saying, "Now thank me and shake my hand."

SE: Walt is a chemistry genius, but he can be behind the curve when it comes to judging character. Walt was extremely naïve to think that Gus didn't know about Hank being DEA. It was very shortsighted of Walt to think of himself as some sort of hidden mastermind, that he could tell my-dog-ate-the-homework stories to a slick drug kingpin. If Tuco could track your ass down, Gus probably has his eyes on you, Walt. Even more naïve it was to not realize that Gus's pragmatism also applies to him, that Gus was probably using Walt just for his formula anyhow, and could cleanse his hands of him at anytime.

Speaking of Gus knowing all, are you smelling an insider at the DEA? I feel like I can bring this up, because most viewers had been getting that feeling for awhile at this point. Danny Trejo reappears (no one on this show really ever dies) and we remember he had been tipped off, Hank is constantly being guided away from his Heisenberg search, and the Federales had the cartel leader's home in Mexico surrounded following the Hank/twins bloodbath, yet he met a machine-gun demise.

CS: Uh, do you not remember the cartel member saying his brother is the police chief? Getting back to the drug raid, it's amazing what Gus managed to do in a couple of quick strokes. And then for Walt to kind of figure it out was fairly impressive too.

All through high school, I worked in a chicken restaurant , but man is Los Pollos Hermanos distribution system way more complicated than what my employer did. Of course, it was me and a couple other high school flunkies working in basically what was a mom-and-pop chicken joint. I can't imagine the amount of work and trust it takes to be hiding meth in batter.

SE: Why can't real chicken commercials be that good? All of those fresh chilli peppers, spindles of slow roasted chicken dripping with flavor, and fried chicken wings falling from the sky makes we want to drive to Albuquerque and see if Los Pollos Hermanos really exists. All we get here is KFC commercials with buckets of "special seasoning" (basically MSG powder) laying around and uniformed stereotypes with teeth whitener. I think a Los Pollos Hermanos chain would make some serious money, even sans superlab. Surely someone has the paperwork started on that.

Both Walt and Skyler have eureka moments in regards to the meth operation. Skyler realizes that Walter has to--in some form--be caught up in Hank's shooting, which makes her realize how unsafe her family may be, and the trail of lies starts again for Walt. As Walt comes to and levels with Gus, I really applauded the choice to have Walt speak to Gus in a way that Gus would appreciate that he "respects the strategy," agrees with the move, and would have done the same. With that, both Walt and Gus have underestimated each other, and the chess match begins; oh wait that's Season Four, but the groundwork is definitely laid out in that chicken coop, or should I say coup?

CS: At the place I worked the chicken was salted and peppered, coated in home-made bread crumbs and cornmeal, and battered in just milk, egg, and garlic. Doesn't get any easier than that.

That conversation in the chicken coop kind of causes Walt to have a momentary lapse of craziness though. He maxes the Aztek out at 88 MPH and lets it wander into the opposite lane perilously close to a semi. Someone should tell Walt that the Aztek needs a new belt, because there was a little bit of a squeal when he got off the shoulder and back onto the pavement.

SE:  What did you think of Skyler's gambling monologue? In a microcosmic way, it parallels Gus's later fell swoop to take out the cartel; she needed an explanation for the money, a diatribe to let Walt know she was on board, and a way to show she had skills to be a player in the game. She knew Walt wouldn't go for it, so she just did it. Have you ever given someone an excellent idea and they shun you, but like three weeks later they somehow morph the idea into their own and go with it? Walt is that guy. He doesn't listen to an idea unless he thinks it's his own. "Walt that belt is squeaky, might want to get that looked at." Three weeks later he tells you how he figured it out.

CS:  I have an aunt who I convinced that she used to lock me in a closet, and now that story has morphed into something even crazier. It's absolutely hilarious to me.

Most definitely about Skyler, you can pretty much see how if the shoe was on her foot that she is very capable of Breaking Bad herself. Her character is a phenomenal liar. You know Walt just keeps kicking himself, knowing that you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Then again, an open-ended $15 Million per annum can make even the most moral people amoral.

The conversation where Jesse loses his shit about only making half a million a year as opposed to Gus making his $96 Million is hilarious to me. It would be impossible for me to be in that situation and not have to worry about any of the risk. Gus put up all the money to create this endeavor, and stands to lose the most; I know way too many people that would also fight the man in that situation.

SE: Walt has probably had the conversation too many times with high school students that want to fight the man, so he just figured he would give it the cake-and-ice-cream treatment. Walt could have really flipped out on him there though. Hey, Jesse, you want to know why Gus makes the $96 MM and you make $1.5? It's because your boss is a conniving mastermind willing to do anything to keep his business floating. How much overhead do you think it costs to employ Mike and Co.? Are you going to go head-to-head with the cartels? Do you have a distribution network as smooth and wide as Los Pollos delivery trucks? Do you sponsor the Fun Run for the DEA every year or even attempt to keep your nose clean? And how about the money it takes to clean up all your mistakes? Zip it, bro. Sit on your bag of cash and spin.

Everyone wants to let that inner Walter White out once in a while.

CS:  So how about "Fly?" I know you are dying to talk about this episode. I've probably seen it three or four times total, and I just don't love it like everyone else does. I mean, I get the appeal, and I wouldn't call it a bad episode, but it just doesn't do the same for me as it does everyone else. To me, this episode says, "Hey, our budget is getting out of hand; how can we cut corners a bit?"

SE:  Duder, "Fly" is one of my all-time favorite episodes of any show, ever. All character building episodes tend to have that putting-a-plug-in-the-budget feel to them, but didn't we applaud last season's version "4 Days Out?" My guess to what happened on that episode is that a portion of the script just ended up so damn good that Gilligan and Co. just figured it would work as an entire episode. Anyhow, I wish I was a fly on the wall in that meeting. The episode wasn't that fun for me the first time around; I was really wanting the action to continue to amp up, but I too have seen it several times and now I can't get enough. I literally snickered for 15 solid minutes the last time through, so damn funny.

Aaron Paul is at his best in that one. Talk about stories about aunts, how about that possum story? If I am ever in an Irish band, we will definitely be named the O'Possums. Walt is still showing after effects of going through treatment, marital strife, the attack on Hank, and the whole meth operation thing, so it isn't a surprise to seem him chase a fly to stop "spillage." I cannot imagine the hell fire conversation that would immediately reign down on Walt if Gus had video of that day. You know what is great? The Netflix 30-second rewind button. I must have watched Walt fall on that lab vat five or six times. As far as I can tell, it's all one shot, but I'm guessing that is probably not true, as I don't see who would approve Cranston over a stunt double for that one.

CS: Full disclosure: I am going to be playing with a friend tomorrow, and he wants to start a folk rocky type band. I'm gonna pitch the name the O'Possums. I also once came up with the band name the Republicants, but I think that is taken.

I guess I like the RV episode because it seemed more like genuine tension, not fabricated tension because Walt is beginning to lose his mind. Even though I've seen that episode several times, it still amazes me that Walt doesn't spill the beans about Jane; though I do love the part when Walt is going on about having lived too long, and, "You want them to miss you." I think this is also the first episode where Walt's cough starts to come back.

SE: I like how Walt's monologue provides closure to his thoughts on the plane crash, that there was a "perfect moment" where he could have died and all of it would have been worth it, but now the cosmic rocket--and Walt's ego--has been launched and nothing can stop it from reaching light speed. For that alone, the episode makes sense. We normally have to read Walt's inner thoughts, but this time we get those few raw moments where Walt is blistered from a combo of Gale's coffee (what would you pay to try a cup of that?), no sleep, and a half-dozen sleeping pills, revealing how he has rationalized the tremendous odds that aligned for him to meet with Jane's dad that night. At this point, Walt is really beginning to believe he was meant to become Heisenberg all along. You know, Elvis thought he could move clouds with his mind.

CS: I have actually only taken two sips of coffee in my whole life, so I probably wouldn't give much more than a wooden nickel to try Gale's coffee, though I can't imagine mixing sleeping pills with caffeine is a good idea.

Episode 11 is the first episode where I really start to not like Hank. I've never had serious physical therapy, but I have had minor physical therapy and Hank is being a full-on pussy. Just being the worst combination of whiny bitch and quitter, not to mention taking it out on everyone.

SE: I feel for Hank. All I will say is that I have gone to physical therapy 2-3 times a week for a couple of years with no end in sight and, although the folks that help me are extremely personable and fun to chat with, it's about the last thing you want to do when in pain.

CS: Fair enough I guess. I suppose if I couldn't go play laser tag I would be a pretty grumpy person as well.

SE: How much of a snake move was it for Beneke to show up at the White household after ducking Walter at his office? You know he circled the block like seven times to make sure mean ol' Walter White wasn't around. The funny thing is that Ted has no clue what he is stepping in, and Walter probably would have earned a prison sentence on the face of Teddy Beneke if he had showed up to that awkward situation, which is why the writers probably left it at that, but wouldn't you have liked to see Teddy get chased around the Aztek by a hornet's-nest mad Walt?

CS: Fuck Beneke, what a pansy. The funny thing is though, Beneke doesn't realize that Walt is kind of a pussy. Regardless, it would be entertaining to see the continuation of Walt unable to throw a fake plant through a window.

SE: I want to know how in the hell the writers came up with the plot line that brought Combo's death back to haunt Jesse and forced a confrontation with Gus. Along with that plane crash, the odds that Jesse would start dating the kid killer's sister are pretty stout also; I think the cosmos is dropping hints. And I love that Pinkman falls back into good guy status. That guy is on a roller coaster ride through the bowels of hell.

CS: Yeah, its pretty fucked up to use children, but history has shown that the most effective way to create criminals is to get them started young. It's such a great twist of writing to bring up call backs like that. In reality, the story wouldn't have changed much if that kid killed somebody that wasn't Combo. Jesse probably gets just as angry over it. I'm actually a little surprised that Gus, who runs such a tight ship, would actually allow this because there is no way he isn't aware of it.

SE: That is where we are left to wonder how much Gus knows and whether he ordered the kid's death or not. I would think Gus wouldn't specifically order it, but maybe influenced the men to take care of the issue, in which they saw fit to off the poor kid. Then again, I doubt the thugs make any serious moves without Gus's approval if they are very close, and being as they were in ABQ they are probably pretty tight-knit.

You have told me that Jesse was only supposed to be in the first couple episodes before he was to be killed off, but the friction with Walt worked, so they kept the character running. This was confirmed by an Aaron Paul appearance on Conan in which he also divulges that every season Cranston loves to scare him into thinking new script revisions have offed Pinkman. I've listened to a lot of the podcasts about the show featuring Vince Gilligan. He is pretty laid back and honest about the items he is willing to talk about. Apparently, the writer's literally don't know where they are going sometimes and just piece together ideas and mix and match until the stars align. I think the Combo murder tie-in may have been them retracing steps to push some confrontation to the forefront. I do love that if they find incongruities before the season airs, Gilligan shoots the additive scenes and edits them in previous episodes to further enhance plot cohesion, so I am always left wondering what was originally plotted out and what changed.

I also have read that Tuco was supposed to be a villain for several seasons, but Raymond Cruz had contractual obligations, in which the writer's developed the anti-Tuco, Gustavo Fring. Paul McCartney always said that he believed The Beatles succeeded because they were willing to try new things and experiment with new sounds and technologies, not discarding the off-the-beaten-path stuff. When Vince Gilligan says he doesn't know how this ends, I believe him, but I also know he will work like hell to get it done in a way that is true to his vision, quirks and all, for what it's worth.

CS: I think this type of thing is actually quite common. I know in the TV show Lost, Benjamin Linus was only suppose to be in a couple of episodes, and Mr. Eko was suppose to have a much bigger role, but he hated living in Hawaii. For one, I'm glad the Tuco character didn't last. I much prefer Gus. I prefer my villains to be cold and calculated, not some kind of maniacal wild card.

SE: I know I'm guilty of pointing out all of the genius moves that Breaking Bad has made, but in reality there have been a lot of breaks that led to how the show turned out, that whole contingency of life thing again. I like the contrast from Tuco to Gus. We see that not only are Walt and Jesse ill-equipped to handle a maniacal meth dealer, they can't even stay the course with the most pragmatic of men who has given them the deal of a lifetime and can offer them protection and an unlimited supply of cash. The only conversation we see between Gus and Gale is the plot to rid Walt, but what did he tell Gale when Walt ousted him? Surely Gale was still getting paid to chill out in his humble apartment, soaking in his patchouli stench.

CS: I don't think Gus talked to Gale again until he was rehired. Walt was the one that had to tell Gale his services would no longer be required. I think it would have been awesome if Gale flipped his shit and took his super coffee maker with him.

How big of a wheel barrow did Jesse need to haul his nuts around when he told Gus how it was going to be? It took massive cojones to tell Gus no after he tried to put the kibosh on Jesse's rage.

SE: No doubt it was a Paul Bunyan-sized wheelbarrow, bet you could fit Jupiter and Saturn in that thing. Jesse is at the end of the line there. Life's pissed on him too many times, and he just decides to ride the blue dragon into battle with the rival dealers. I guess he figures someone has to take some sort of an ethical stand eventually. And then probably my favorite single moment in the whole series happens: kamikaze Aztek rampage! The Kamikaze Azteks would be a killer band name, but you would probably get sued by the tribal nation, let alone Pontiac or the Japanese.

CS: Its odd that Jesse is, at times, the moral compass of the show. I had a teacher in high school that told a similar story to Mike's abusive husband story, except my teacher's version of the story dealt with a physically abusive wife, not husband. Man I love the last episode of Season Three, it's probably my favorite episode in the whole series (thus far anyway).

SE: Whoa, no comment on the acrobatic Aztek? I wore the Netflix 30-second button out on that one. I love the comical way in which Walt scrambles outside the vehicle. It's almost like he is Mr. White scrambling through the chemistry lab after a student-created fire in those slacks, and then he grabs the gun and goes all Heisenberg on that ass, steadying and then kapow.

I really liked the whole desolate-field scene with Heisenberg vs. Gus that begins the last episode of Season Three. One of the best lines is dropped by Mike, as Walt needs "assurance." Gravely responding, "I assure you I can kill you from way over here if that makes you feel any better." You're still naïve Walt. Better start learning the game quicker than that. And Walt, get your car fixed.

CS: Oh you know I take glee out of seeing the Aztek take on any sort of damage; however, I'm not a fan of turning the Aztek into a hero by eliminating evil-doers. It would be like being rescued from a burning fire by Denis Leary; it would be really hard for me to still hate the guy.
  
SE: Yeah, you know I am on board with the Denis Leary hate. I played No Cure For Cancer on an endless loop during a phase when I was 13, but then I discovered Bill Hicks. If you like Bill Hicks, you can’t like Dennis Leary’s stolen routine. Maybe it’s just that Bill Hicks went out in a blaze of glory, and Leary hung around to quit smoking, do a major television show, and make appearances on The View.

CS:  There is the old joke, Why is it that Denis Leary achieved mainstream popularity while Bill Hicks died in relative obscurity? Because there is no cure for cancer.

Denis Leary not only stole Bill Hicks' jokes, but his entire persona.

Man, the last episode is so good. After Walt is educated to how unsafe he really is, we then get a glimpse at why Mike is such a BAMF. So many great quotes in this episode, too. I love Walt reminding Jesse that he saved his life and asking if he is going to return the favor. And then there is my favorite moment of the season and that's when Walt has the phone, he looks Mike right in the eye and says, "You might want to hold off... Because your boss is going to need me," then blurts Gale's address and BOOM! The sheer terror in Mike and Victor's eyes is fantastic.

SE: Did you notice how Mike and Victor are so confused at that moment they draw their guns and back away? I never thought Pinkman had it in him, but it was the only way. Gale is an interesting character, such a cheap way to go, but I like how Walt proves to Gus that he is more like him than Gus realized, willing to take necessary steps. I was one of the many that was confused about the camera angle of the gun in the final "shot" and thought Pinkman may have opted to kidnap Gale.

CS: I never thought for a second that Jesse didn't shoot Gale. I would have liked a little more dialogue between Jesse and Gale though, I really wish there would have been another way.

SE: I got on the internet immediately afterwards and Vince Gilligan was adamant in interviews that Gale was most definitely dead. I can appreciate that kind of candor from a showrunner. A lot of other shows play that did-he-or-didn't-he game, and it just isn't right. Hell, as many murders as Breaking Bad has unveiled, The Killing would have to run about 273 episodes to cover them all, with Season Two wrapping up the whodunnit on Krazy 8.

Conversely, I did happen to like how the Jesse versus Gale scene played out. Jesse would likely be under an immense psychological pressure about what he was about to do that he likely wouldn't be able to say anything, and what would words be to Gale at that point anyway? Although I am surprised Jesse didn't apologize or give him a brief this-is-the-only-way speech. I do like how the writer's had Gale's character not recognize Jesse at first, just thinking it was a robbery, and then the uh-oh moment where he realizes what is happening. I think Jesse's face told the story. Of all the out-of-this-world actors on the show, Aaron Paul out does them all in Season Three. Maybe that is part of why I enjoy the show so much: I loathe bad acting (I can not stomach the first Star Wars for even a minute now), and the show has never had a weakly acted part.

CS:  One of my favorite podcasts is the Hollywood Prospectus podcast on the Grantland network. They particularly love to rip on The Killing and they once said in an episode that if The Killing had Lester Freamon on the case that the show would have been over half way through the first episode.

SE:  I particularly enjoyed Walt's reaction to the possibility of being offed by Mike and Victor. He has already talked about the "perfect time" for him to pass on, where his family will be safe and have money for the future. Well, if he just lets Mike put one in his skull, it is reasonable to believe that his family will have plenty of money and will still remember him in a good light. But people don't always act the way they say will act. Do you know what choice you would make in that situation? No one can really know until it happens. I took an Ethics class last semester and was tickled when a freshmen gal said that she would rather die than have a pig organ put in her body that could save her life. If she was actually put in that situation, I know what side I am betting she would choose. I imagine one realizes all the family members that will miss you, and all the life you might have left to live to learn more about the mysterious world, and the attitude changes real quick. Add children that depend on you to the scenario, and I damn well know the answer to the question. Our minds and bodies are not programmed to give up easily.

CS:  The more people I meet younger than me, the less faith I have in the fate of humanity. As you know, I majored in an Engineering field, but I also have a minor in Communications, and I could not believe how clueless 90% of communication students are to how the world actually works. I know for a fact that I wouldn't even hesitate to have a pig organ installed in me. As for the Walt situations, I'd probably fight to survive, but not sure I'd actually have the stones to order the execution of someone else.

So there we have it for Season Three. If you ask me, it goes on the Rushmore of best seasons ever. It begins with Mexican twin assassins sneaking across the border and ends with the desperate assassination of a Libertarian chemist. The third season of Breaking Bad runs you through the figurative car wash, then Walt decides to buy one. We get to witness Walter White slipping further into the recesses of the seedy underbelly of American society all while dragging down everyone he comes across. Walt continues to cook his world class meth for the sake of his family, yet continues to manage to make his family's life more and more difficult because of his actions and associations. As a viewer, you start to think the show has peaked, that the show can't continue to up the stakes, yet somehow it does.