Friday, February 4, 2011

Tube Steak: Conan on Cage

Just for those who are concerned, I do have a bunch of entries in the works right now. I've fallen a bit behind, as tends to happen this time of year, as I invariably spend my writing time on pre-season fantasy baseball content for Sports Grumblings. I assure you entries are on the way. Specifically, a post on The Mechanic that is partially completed, along with some Reading Rainbow entries and a few more Man on Films. But on to the show...

I'd like to thank blog regular, Big Hatt (the writer over at The Stoney Film Critic), for bringing this to my attention:

I've spent a lot of time writing about Nicolas Cage here. It is well-established how I feel about the man. Check the Nicolas Cage tag if you need to.

That being said, it feels like the Nic Cage Threat Level that Conan did was a little off the mark.

For the lowest level of threat, I'm all right with Con Air. Many people have asserted that it is the best film of the 1990s. While there are certainly other Cage vehicles to turn to, I can abide by Con Air for the purposes of the sketch.

If only the first one was just about Johnny Blaze...
When they move to the second level is where they lose me. Honeymoon in Vegas? Really? Something is slightly amiss, and they elect to go for this. It's not particularly memorable. Really, its placement here just isn't that funny.

The biggest misstep though is the third level: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. For starters, this was probably the best movie to come out that year. It may be the best Nic Cage movie ever, and that is saying something.

Step Four is Face/Off. I guess. I'm not going to take the time to argue this one.

The final step, predictably, is the Neil LaBute directed Wicker Man remake that is sitting on my Blu-ray shelf right next to The Thin Red Line: The Criterion Collection. The bees scene is great, to be sure. You know what's crazier, though, when he's running around in the bear suit attacking all those women.

Now there are all kinds of ways this could be improved. You could reverse the scale so all is well for Wicker Man and then insinuate that Leaving Las Vegas or Adaptation is the bad threat level. Also, no love for The Vampire's Kiss? His freakouts in that absolutely make this clip:

There is just so much here that at the very least makes for a funnier sketch.

Let me make it clear, though. I do not advocate making fun of Nicolas Cage at all. My fandom is in earnest.

Drive Angry is coming soon (trailer embedded again for your viewing pleasure)...

4 comments:

Big Hatt said...

I'd have made some different choices for sure, although Face/Off and Wickerman were both good picks for their settings in my opinion.

The thing is though, with something like this for Cage, everyone's choices would differ from everyone else's. Too much room for interpretation.

Like this thing, for instance:

http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/feature/behold-the-nicolas-cage-matrix.php

How many of those would you change? Almost every one, right? It seems everyone likes/dislikes different Cage movies for different reasons. Understandable for a guy that out there. But it does seem impossible to come to a concensus,even among close friends.

Josh Duggan said...

Agreed on both Wicker Man and Face/Off. I really do understand the thinking behind those choices. Travolta still had some suction and there was still a reason to want to work with John Woo as far as Face/Off was concerned. I get Wicker Man as well.

Almost everyone that I surround myself with loves all Nic Cage movies equally though. There's a quiz.

Young Man Duggan said...

The Conan thing had too many picks that I'd deem "safe". I agree that Wicker Man should've been on there only with your scene recommendations. The bear scene was legit because it was him freaking the fuck out.

Josh Duggan said...

@ YMD - You know, I may just watch Wicker Man for shits and giggles.

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