It's been far too long. My apologies for that. Having seen this well over a month ago, I can assure you that it is only lack of free time that has kept me from writing this up.
Fast Five does not fall under the umbrella of those descriptors.
Simply put, Fast Five was awesome. It delivers exactly what you would expect it to, and then some. Sure, it's thin on plot, but who gives a shit? There are awesome car chases, great stunt driving, sweet-ass explosions, and massive amounts of destruction. The already winning combo of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker (that is such a weird sentence to write) gets an infusion of Dwayne Johnson. As we have come to expect since director Justin Lin took the helm, this is a well-oilded machine. Where the first two Fast movies were clearly messy, Lin reined things in, tightened up the action, got the sound mixed properly*, and improved the franchise.
*Try watching one of the first two again. Now try watching them without having to adjust the volume every 30 seconds.
This is a huge fucking movie, and it works really fucking well. It's perfectly escapist, and enjoyable all the way around. Sure, it won't win any Oscars, but this is not a film that needs to be working on that level. One could even argue that the film sometimes seems to disregard the laws of physics altogether. These things do not matter. After all, this is a series in which the third film, Tokyo Drift actually happens after the fifth one. One needn't think too hard about these films.
More importantly, though, at the time of its release Fast Five was most pleasing of any movie that had come out in 2011. It was a dark spring with two disappointing Nic Cage releases and not much else. Fast Five was a shining beacon of adrenaline-fueled bombast in the best possible way.
Looking at the trailer, what isn't to love?
Now if you have seen this and haven't for whatever reason, checked out the Bill Simmons/Adam Carolla BS Report podcast on Fast Five, you probably should.
I think I speak for the entire free world when I say that I cannot wait for the sixth installment.