Friday, June 18, 2010

Diversions: Ben Affleck, My Friend, Lock Up Your Children

If there is one thing that readers of this blog should already know, it is that Ben Affleck is my main man. Now, unlike Ahmad Rashad, I don't go around slapping that label on just anyone willy-nilly. I have One Main Man. It is Ben Affleck.

Yes, I feel very strongly about the genius that is Nic Cage, but we all know there's only one Ben Affleck.

I say this all (and really we're just reiterating a proven fact, aren't we?) because tonight my alarm bells were a-ringin'.

Like many of you, I was watching the ultimately disappointing Game Seven of the NBA Finals this evening when a shocking development transpired. It appears as though Jeff Van Gundy saw Ben Affleck's daughter, Violet Anne, out eating at a restaurant with her mother, Jennifer Garner. As they spoke of this on air, Mark Jackson raised the first warning flag. Jackson stated (and I'm paraphrasing here) that Van Gundy had embarrassed them with his [presumed] googly eyes. It was after this that Van Gundy began to talk about how cute Violet was, segueing into an open offer to baby-sit for the Affleck/Garner clan. He then went a step further and said that he felt like he'd seen her grow up before his eyes in the pages of US Weekly and People.


Something is very, very wrong here. I know that Chad, Mark, and I were all worried for Violet's well-being when Jeff Van Gundy made his disturbing revelation.

Mr. Affleck, please do not let Jeff Van Gundy baby-sit your children.

Can you imagine what would the world would be like if Ben Affleck had been stripped of his innocence at such a young age? I sure as hell don't want to think about it.


KRD said...


And also, do you really have a tag for pedophilia?

Is that necessary?

Big Hatt said...

I too respect Affleck. People give me shit about it. His choice in women is strange and I can't say I've liked many of his movies per se, but for me it all comes down to two things:

1) It seems like Affleck is a cool guy in real life. When he hosted SNL he really let them have their way with him. That goes a hell of a long way with me.

2) Gone Baby Gone was legit. And in his directorial debut, no less. He obviously has a bright future behind the camera.

Old Man Duggan said...

@ KRD - You'll note that there's only one entry that the tag applies for, yet over at Munch My Benson you've not taken issue. What gives?

@ Big Hatt - Watch the commentary track for Chasing Amy. Affleck at his finest.

KRD said...

Context, OMD. Context.

Old Man Duggan said...

Seriously? One of the primary sources of search-based traffic here at Inconsiderate Prick has been people searching for "soapy cock shots." I think the bar has been set pretty low here for a while.

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