 |
| The look of disgust after realizing Huell lifted the M60 |
Craig Scholes: Hank would still be alive, if only Marie continued
to wear purple.
Shane England: Can I just adopt Robert Forster as my uncle?
CS: I know I've seen him in many, many things, but none of
them are coming to mind.
SE: Jackie Brown most recently sticks in my head, but every
cop show ever before that.
CS: I don't watch a lot of cop shows.
SE: My lord, you could derail a fucking 20,000-ton coal
train.
CS: DELTA FORCE MOTHER FUCKER!
This episode is going to be hard to do our thing on, but I
will add this: The other day, I decided to enjoy the nice weather and just
stand outside my car for a few moments. Looking up at a streetlight amidst a
sunny day, I realized that I’m going to miss Breaking Bad. Even if one doesn’t
like the concept of the show, the cinematography has to be appreciated. I just
feel that it made me look at the world in a different way, that any
object could take on a life of its own. I was standing
next to a busy traffic way with a lush forest of shimmering trees just beyond the city life--just another random location--but I felt like it could be a location where The
Disappearerer could pick me up. I'm guessing you probably had to be there in my body
to get the feeling, but I just want to be thankful for a show in which there
was extra thought and added meaning applied to the inanimate objects that
surround our lives. Other shows just haphazardly film what they can in a
mad dash to produce the 23-episode season in two weeks.
CS: Now you're just making shit up.
SE: I will say I was rocking out the Eureka podcast the
other day, and I think you hit on something interesting. Shows stagnate when
the protagonist isn't in harms way. That is why Dexter has gotten dry. We know
were it is going; we know he won't get caught. This is why Boardwalk Empire
started kicking ass when Nucky had his ass against the wall.
CS: I feel like I need to make a dick joke.
SE: I could keep waxing it on the poetic side, but yeah we need
a dick joke. My dick is so big, its nickname is Heisenberg.
CS: That joke is as pathetic as the TV reception in Mr.
Lambert's cabin.
SE: I loved that Walt and Saul were in white shirts like
they were already in prison.
My dick is so strong, it snorts ricin to get high.
CS: I think we now know who the ricin is for.
SE: It would be so petty of him to black out his ex-partners
at Gray Matter.
CS: Which is exactly what he is going to do. If there is any
one distinctive trait of Walt, it is pettiness.
SE: Such a big matter has been made of Lydia's stevia
addiction that I hope it's for her. Mr. White in the cafe with the ricin-laced
stevia.
CS: I guess it’s possible, as she is the one who is
advocating for the offing of Skyler.
SE: I loved how on the preview for Talking Bad they offered,
"Tonight we discuss if Walt will take Saul's advice." When has Walt
ever taken advice? Tonight on Talking Bad: "Does the pope shit in the
woods?"
CS: Saul should have just karate chopped Walt in the throat
when he started to go Heisenberg in the vacuum dungeon.
SE: I have always been rooting for that evil bastard Walter
White. Do you think this episode turns more folks to his side for the epic gun
battle?
CS: I don't see there being a gun battle. I think Walt is
going to use the machine gun as intimidation. No way he goes down in a blaze of
glory.
SE: I don’t think Walt is much for Bon Jovi anyhow, but it's
perfect that Jesse is in a real dungeon because he is out of harm’s way until
all the Nazis are gone. Then we get the final showdown.
CS: If Walt dies,
Flynn is the one who kills him.
SE: Is there anybody that has flipped quicker than Flynn
against his father?
CS: I don't know, and I don't fucking care. I wish Flynn would
have died in the first 5 minutes of that show.
I hate that character so much.
SE: I don't quite understand that, but when do we get the
Todd/Flynn spinoff? I want to see those two in business together.
CS: The character of Flynn is just stupid. He didn't inherit even the tiniest bit of his
father’s intelligence. He flies off the handle. He bitches and whines. I get
that he is a teenager, but I also hate teenagers.
SE: Let's keep this hate going, so Jesse is tortured further
by his lady friend being offed. I think they did that more as a safety measure
than to show Jesse.
CS: Safety from what? She didn't know anything.
SE: They didn't know that though. The only reason Skyler is
alive is because Todd respects Walt.
CS: Exactly, they didn't kill Skyler because he respects
Walt. They killed what’s-her-face because they don't give a fuck about Jesse.
SE: The Uncles of Anarchy are really sweet on women. The best
torture for them would be to lock them up and have Skyler and Marie take turns
dominating them.
CS: I think Landry is going to get spurned by Lady Banjo
Eyes, and he kills her.
SE: Whoa, good call. I like that.
CS: Walt was going to turn himself in, he saw the interview,
and now he's going back. He's going back to kill the Gray Matter folks, or he is
going to frame them.
SE: So you are joining the crazy-talk-Breaking-Bad-theory
bunch? That gun machine gun is going to get used like a mother fucker. The Nazis are getting mowed down. And then there will be the epic Jesse/Walt showdown.
CS: No, I clearly said the machine gun is going to be a
power play. Has Walt even shot a gun?
SE: Quit trolling. He blew the shit out of those super lab
goons. Craig, Craig, Craig, Chekhov’s gun always gets used by The Vince
Gilligan.
CS: What does Star Trek have to do with Gilligan’s Island?
SE: So what do you think Walt did in that cabin for months
on end? He probably beat Huell's record for hiding out by 3,000 fold.
CS: I don’t know, but I would have gone insane. Also giving yourself chemo is pretty fucking
hardcore.
Also fun fact: New Hampshire is the Payphone Capital of the World.
SE: What a fantastic line by Robert Forster when Chemo
Sah-be asked him to give the money to his family: "If I said 'yes,' would
you believe me?"
 |
| From Walt's cabin library |
CS: What was the end game with his $11 million in cabin cash?
SE: I think that was the whole point, that Walt had no end
game. I was really wanting a clip of newspaper of Jessie's girl getting offed with Walter wondering what that was about.
CS: Going back to Jesse, it's amazing that handcuff lock technologies
have NEVER advanced. I mean really, what
kind of jank-ass system can be picked with a shitty paper clip.
Shout-out to Steven Colbert's Americone Dream ice cream
though.
SE: And you're telling me that he twists that paper clip back
to normal after he is done and clips it back up? No way.
CS: That was just a montage.
SE: I wanted a montage of the newspaper clippings Walt had
up on his wall.
CS: Breaking Bad has really had some nice montages over the
course of the series.
My brother once told me that he kept a handcuff key
behind his belt in the back belt loop at all times, so when he had his hands
handcuffed behind his back the key would be right there and he could get away.
He also told me it came in handy more times than I could even imagine. My
brother also told me he couldn't watch Breaking Bad because it hits too close
to home.
SE: Which means he associates too closely with Badger.
CS: Yeah, he had many Badgers and Skinny Petes in his crew
before he was exiled from this time zone.
SE: So let's take some odds to end this: Skyler dies (5/1),
Walt lives (2/1), Todd kills Lydia (10/1), Jesse kills Walt (2/1), Brock
becomes a meth dealer in the Saul spinoff (12/1), and how about this one: Walt
wins (10/1).
CS: Marie goes back to wearing purple (1/2), Flynn does
something stupid (off), Ghost of Hank comes back for a weird Patrick Swayze/Demi Moore moment in Ghost with his minerals (25/1), Skyler switches to non-filters (5/1).
SE: Well, we can guarantee the last episode will be
non-filtered.
CS: I have no idea how they are going to wrap this up in
about 60 minutes of television.
SE: Better than if Chemo Sah-be would have just died in his
cabin eating canned green beans.
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