Guest Column: How NBC has managed to not just fall down, but tripped down a big-ass staircase: Part 1

This was originally posted several months ago with the intent of having the second part (of 2) posted shortly there after, but, well, it never happened. As has become a theme with both contributors (of the same blood), life happened, and I never got around to posting the second entry. Tomorrow, part 2 will be posted, and for context, I've taken the liberty of re-posting the first part...

Is it just me or does TV as whole leave quite a bit to be desired? Without doing research of any kind, it seems like for every good/decent/tolerable show on TV right now, there are at least 3-5 hardly watchable shows. Obviously, there are holdovers from previous seasons that are still pumping out episodes of quality like Dexter, Parks & Recreation, and Psych, but to me…those are few and far between.

I’ve noticed this phenomenon ever since the writer’s strike a few years ago because almost every show had a huge drop off in overall quality. Shows that were stalwarts for quality episodes week in and week out totally sucked following the strike. The Office almost lost me entirely because each episode was totally unfunny. Some of you may not care for 30 Rock, but I used to enjoy it quite a bit. After the strike…not so much. About the only shows that come to mind that didn’t blow after the strike (that I watched anyway) were Dexter and Friday Night Lights.

The writer’s strike shouldn’t be completely to blame because the other part needs to go to the individual networks. Can you remember a network that’s fallen further out of the graces of viewers than NBC? I sure can’t.

Have you looked at NBC’s weekly lineup lately? Here it is…

Sunday: Who Do You Think You Are?; Dateline

Monday: Chuck; The Cape; Harry’s Law

Tuesday: Biggest Loser; Parenthood

Wednesday: 2 Hours of Minute to Win It; Law & Order: SVU

Thursday: Community; Perfect Couples; The Office; Parks & Rec; 30 Rock; Outsourced

Friday: Who Do You Think You Are?; Dateline

Saturday: Chuck; Law & Order: Los Angeles; Law & Order: SVU

Let’s start with Sunday’s lineup and work our way through the week…

I hate to be the bearer of bad news to NBC, but a show about genealogy isn’t going to get people watching your network. Vanessa Williams’ family history is of ZERO INTEREST to me. Even someone like [insert either one of my parents] who actively participates in the hobby of genealogy will have no interest in this show*. And apparently NBC wants to make sure you get a chance to see Who Do You Think You Are? badly enough that they re-air it on Fridays.

*Listening to someone else talk about his/her family history (with the exception of a passing comment) is like listening to someone talk about their fantasy sport team. No one outside of the owner of said team/family cares, so we just sit there acting as if we care until the appropriate time comes where we can insert a comment the includes ourselves.**

To be fair, I am a sucker for a good Dateline (see: “To Catch a Predator” highlight reel below), but I don’t think it serves any purpose aside from providing additional shows to validate the salaries of news anchors. NBC should be given some props for realizing that no one watches on Saturdays and Sundays, so as far as the bottom-line is concerned, they actually made a wise decision, but they aren't good.

Moving on to Monday… I used to watch Chuck, but there wasn’t anything about that show that made me come back after the first season.

Honestly, I have been watching The Cape, and those of you have seen an episode know how horrendously bad that show is. To me, it seems like NBC thinks they can “cash in” on the success of Heroes* but that show was actually good**. I keep watching The Cape only because it’s got to be better, and I'm kind of a sucker for superhero crap.

*Five years later...

**There was such a huge drop off following the first season, and it got progressively more terrible with each successive episode, too.

Harry’s Law looks to be even worse than The Cape. It’s my contention that NBC heard some good things about Kathy Bates as "Jo Bennet" in The Office, so they decided to create a show with the main character being basically Jo Bennet. There isn’t an ounce of me that has any interest in watching that garbage (opinion is solely based on the ads).


Their Tuesday lineup is hardly worth mentioning. I’ve never bothered to sit through an episode of The Biggest Loser. From what I’ve heard, it’s actually okay, but the main networks have copped out by having so many reality shows, but that will mentioned later.

I’m not really sure where to start with Parenthood. I guess I’ll start by mentioning how much I hate Dax Sheppard. Jesus, he’s terrible. He’s 100% unfunny, and only making matters worse is his relationship Kristen Bell. Adding to my distaste is how the show was advertised in a manner leading fans of Modern Family* to believe that show was going to be like that. Well…it’s not. Plus, I read an article recently that said who the creators of Modern Family initially wanted for its cast and none other than Craig Tiberius** Nelson was at the top of their wish list to play role of family patriarch.

*And "Parenthood" was a mid-season addition to their lineup. Did they have this show just ready for development if "Modern Family" was a success?
**It's true...look it up

And yes, that's Tom Arnold...

Guy Fieri is another person who is on my hate list. I don’t want to eat at TGI Fridays because of him. That being said, Minute to Win It isn’t on my watch list. My issue with many reality shows is that they really only have a few minutes of action surrounded by terribly annoying hosts (like Guy Fieri).

But LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT!?!?!?! How we at IP feel about this show is probably understated. For all of NBC’s shortcomings, SVU does aide to bring its image back up.

This post was initially even longer, so I’m going to take the liberty of making this a two-part [what I hope to be] conversation because my comments about their Thursday lineup and other NBC related subjects is also long, so stay-tuned…

Man on Film: Bridesmaids

In a down year for film, I can safely say that Bridesmaids has been one of the brightest spots on an otherwise bleak landscape. Going in, it was hard not to be hopeful as a big fan of the director, Freaks and Geeks creator Paul Feig, and much of the cast, including writer/star Kristen Wiig. 

My hopes were exceeded in every possible way. 

From beginning to end, this film is endearing, hilarious, honest, bawdy, and refreshing. The plight of Wiig's protagonist Annie is one that transcends gender. While clearly a woman, her struggles to come to terms with a life that hasn't played out as planned is easy for most of the audience to empathize with. As she continues to be the most destructive force in her life, it isn't difficult to see the worst of ourselves in Annie's behavior. Her struggles are not exclusively gender-based, as is too often the case in films featuring a majority of female characters, so her problems are relatable to both the male viewer as well.

Now in the nearly two months that have passed since the film opened, so much of what has been written about this film has focused on the fact that a women's comedy with a hard-R-rating has proved financially viable at the box office. I shall refrain from throwing my two cents in on that particularly irritating meme. As always, it's about the talent involved with the project. This film is ultimately successful because it is another Team Apatow production, and while some of the Apatow-directed films have been uneven, Judd Apatow has surrounded himself with a bevy of brilliant people. These brilliant people have shockingly crafted a brilliant comedy. That is the long and short of it. 

As for those brilliant people, Wiig's talents are front and center here. Her freak-outs (that I'll not spoil) are priceless. Her scenes with Jon Hamm are rife with insecurity and awkwardness. She aptly carries this film on her shoulders. 

This isn't to say that her supporting cast doesn't contribute. Rose Byrne is fantastic, as usual. Chris O'Dowd gets his first big opportunity stateside and delivers. Maya Rudolph is great. Jon Hamm is willing to make himself look like an asshole for the sake of the movie. Ellie Kemper, Wendi McLendon-Covey, and Melissa McCarthy are all outstanding as the remaining bridesmaids. 

If anything can be determined by the slew of crap movies this year, it's that making a movie this good must be pretty damned hard.

Bridesmaids Red Band Trailer - watch more funny videos

PSA: Red Rabbit Cooperative Bakery Needs Your Love

This space is not typically one that I use to promote anything. Sure, I may talk about a book or film or show that I love, but that is merely a reaction to art.

This is something more important.

Coffee Donuts - Photo Courtesy of Red Rabbit Bakery

A lady very special to me has embarked on a business venture. This is not just any business venture, though. She is one of five women who have started a vegan bakery here in Austin, Texas. They are committed to producing high-quality vegan baked goods with their initial thrust being vegan donuts. While they are branching out past that into realms I'm not sure I'm allowed to talk about, the donuts currently available at Wheatsville, Pacha, Genuine Joe's and various other establisments around town are awesome. Their Mexican chocolate donut is particularly outstanding.

But they're not just any bakery. They're a worker cooperative.

Red Rabbit Cooperative Bakery.

They are trying to carve out their own niche in the world and the local bakery market.

Where they stand apart is that they aren't all vegans. They actually know what their product would taste like as traditionally prepared. There is no discernible difference.

Red Rabbit Cooperative Bakery is looking for donors for their business. They have set up a page on Kickstarter, a platform by which creative people can be connected with donors. Red Rabbit Cooperative Bakery is looking for donations that would provide them the capital required to procure a trailer and equipment necessary to get their goods out to the masses not only via wholesaling but through a central location that they would control.

As their donation page says:

For the last year, we have been working tirelessly to get our bakery off the ground. We spent six months developing our vegan donut recipe (we ate a lot of donuts!) and another six months finding a kitchen space, equipment, getting all the permits, licenses, suppliers, and clients we needed to start a wholesale bakery business. Finally after many months of hard work, late nights, and a lot of vegan donuts, our dream is slowly becoming a reality! And the best part: the good people of Austin love our handmade donuts!

They are currently sitting just over 34% of the way toward their goal of $10,000 with slightly over two weeks to go. If the goal is not met, none of the donations go through.

If you care about a) the American dream, b) being your own boss, c) high-quality vegan baked goods, or d) the supremely democratic work environment that worker cooperatives provide for all involved, then please venture over to their donation page at Kickstarter.

If my efforts were not enough, here is a feature that the Daily Texan did on Red Rabbit a couple of months ago:

Vegan Donuts from The Daily Texan on Vimeo.

Man on Film: 13 Assassins

For the unindoctrinated, Takaski Miike is one crazy motherfucker. Anyone who has seen Visitor Q, Ichi the Killer, or Audition can attest to this. Having seen these movies, the notion of Takashi Miike helming an epic samurai film certainly piques one's interest. In the abstract, piecing together what the end product might actually consist of produces an extremely bizarre and mind-blowingly violent flick. In reality, 13 Assassins is a relatively straight-forward samurai film enriched with a strong sense of humor and a balls-to-the-wall blow-out of a final battle sequence.

Reality, for this film-goer, was a great thing.

In 13 Assassins, Takashi Miike has crafted an entirely kick-ass samurai film. He hits all the beats to stir up righteous indignation at their cause, draws up an evil and indefensible villain, and imbues his samurai with equal parts humor and honor. It is easy to root for these men on a mission, and the voyage there is enjoyable.

But the centerpiece of the film is its climax, and its climax is an orgiastic explosion of righteous kills by arrow and sword. While the hopes for insanely graphic violence are almost innate when speaking of a Takashi Miike film, this is not what one might expect if they have seen Ichi the Killer. While known for cartoonish, insanely over-the-top, and absurdly graphic violence, he reigns it in slightly. Yes, a ton of the Big Bad's henchmen meet their maker at the end of a blade, but the violence isn't like the final act of Kill Bill, Vol. 1 or anything. It's filmed in a much more traditional way, which wasn't what I personally expected from Takaski Miike, but that isn't to say it was disappointing. Really, with the exception of one ridiculous flaming livestock effect, there weren't any missteps, and he stays largely within the conventions of the genre in a good way.

In short: 13 Assassins is a helluva ride.

Man on Film: Everything Must Go

From the mounting queue of entries that need to be tended to, it probably makes the most sense to get this one out there, as it keeps with the theme of alcoholism ever-present in the subject of yesterday's entry on Charles Bukowski's Post Office.

Not to be confused with the superb Manic Street Preachers album of the same name (featuring this song),

Everything Must Go is an adaptation of a Raymond Carver short story ("Why Don't You Dance?") from the same collection that the Robert Altman masterpiece Short Cuts was culled from. Adapted and directed by first-timer Dan Rush, Everything Must Go stars Will Ferrell as Nick Halsey, a relapsed alcoholic whose drunken transgression set off a bender that led to being fired from his job and left by his wife. After getting fired, he heads home to find his belongings in the yard and locks having been changed. With his company car then repossessed, Nick finds himself essentially left with nowhere to go but his yard with the remnants of his old life sit displaced.

As the days pass, Nick finds friendship with a new neighbor from across the street and a boy whose mother is a home-care nurse down the block. The neighbor, Samantha, is played by the outstanding Rebecca Hall, who imbues her pregnant character with a pitch-perfect dose of vulnerability, compassion, and loneliness. Hall is riding an impressive streak of standout performances in The Town, Red Riding: In the Year of Our Lord 1974, and Frost/Nixon, and this one joins those ranks.


Christopher Jordan Wallace (son of The Notorious B.I.G. and Faith Evans) stands tall here as well. Ferrell plays well off of him, and their relationship definitely provides the film with its best humor.


As for Ferrell, he may not have the most dramatic range in the world, but for the most part he handles the role well. There are a few points in the film where his performance sticks out as being slightly off key, but there are no more than a handful.


As a whole, the film reminds me much of Steve Buscemi's feature-length directorial debut, 1996's Trees Lounge, a film I rather liked at the time. It definitely has the feel of a mid-90s indie dramedy, which one can take for whatever it is worth. There was a time when it seemed like I only watched films like Trees Lounge or The Low Life, so this may have struck a note with me that it would have missed with others.

If the movie does have a failing, it is that it woefully underutilizes Michael Pena's skills. While his role is more significant than Glenn Howerton's, there isn't much that he gets to do with it. Where Howerton's role sees him playing the prick former boss with aplomb, Pena is left to play what could be loosely termed a wet blanket. It is no fault of Pena's that the character is relatively uninteresting, but the conventional nature of his character's presence is disappointing given who's in it.

Without having read the short story that has been adapted here, I cannot speak to its comparison to the source material, but Everything Must Go is an enjoyable if slightly forgettable way to spend 97 minutes.

Reading Rainbow: Post Office by Charles Bukowski

Let us begin this post with a warning for the men out there: Do not read this book concurrently with Nick Cave's The Death of Bunny Munro unless you want to feel like the worst person alive.

With that warning out of the way, this was my first experience with Bukowski. Weird, I know, but I finally got around to it. As an introduction Post Office was a perfectly suitable introduction. It seemed an apt representation of what I had expected a Bukowski novel to be. The bouncing around from one dysfunctional sexual relationship to another was present. Many trips to the race track were there. Alcohol was Henry Chinaski's lifeblood. Countless hours were spent a meaningless job in which Chinaski's apathy plays to great comic effect.

Given what I knew of Bukowski, this was an acerbic gem of a novel that reads effortlessly. While his prose is generally simple, it suits the directness of Chinaski, the first-person narrator. While Chinaski is essentially adrift in a world populated by fellow lowlifes and obstructionist bureaucrats, both of which serve as comic foils for his selfish and anti-social behavior.

While I wouldn't recommend reading Bukowski concurrently with Bunny Munro unless you want to feel like a total bastard, Post Office was a helluva read. There were more than a handful of times in which I found myself laughing aloud. Is it high-art? Probably not. But fuck Ulysses.

Man on Film: Fast Five

It's been far too long. My apologies for that. Having seen this well over a month ago, I can assure you that it is only lack of free time that has kept me from writing this up.

If one were to generalize how 2011 has been for movies, words like "lackluster," "unimpressive," or "shitty" would surely come up and with cause.

Fast Five does not fall under the umbrella of those descriptors.

Simply put, Fast Five was awesome. It delivers exactly what you would expect it to, and then some. Sure, it's thin on plot, but who gives a shit? There are awesome car chases, great stunt driving, sweet-ass explosions, and massive amounts of destruction. The already winning combo of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker (that is such a weird sentence to write) gets an infusion of Dwayne Johnson. As we have come to expect since director Justin Lin took the helm, this is a well-oilded machine. Where the first two Fast movies were clearly messy, Lin reined things in, tightened up the action, got the sound mixed properly*, and improved the franchise.

*Try watching one of the first two again. Now try watching them without having to adjust the volume every 30 seconds.

This is a huge fucking movie, and it works really fucking well. It's perfectly escapist, and enjoyable all the way around. Sure, it won't win any Oscars, but this is not a film that needs to be working on that level. One could even argue that the film sometimes seems to disregard the laws of physics altogether. These things do not matter. After all, this is a series in which the third film, Tokyo Drift actually happens after the fifth one. One needn't think too hard about these films.

More importantly, though, at the time of its release Fast Five was most pleasing of any movie that had come out in 2011. It was a dark spring with two disappointing Nic Cage releases and not much else. Fast Five was a shining beacon of adrenaline-fueled bombast in the best possible way.

Looking at the trailer, what isn't to love?

Now if you have seen this and haven't for whatever reason, checked out the Bill Simmons/Adam Carolla BS Report podcast on Fast Five, you probably should.

I think I speak for the entire free world when I say that I cannot wait for the sixth installment.

Man on Film: Your Highness

First things first, this is a David Gordon Green film written by Ben Best and Danny McBride. This means a few things. It will look good. It will be lewd. It will not be possible to have a trailer representative of what the movie is actually like that can actually be played in any theaters that most people are going to. Here's the redband trailer:

More Your Highness Videos

Now that looks significantly lewder than this:

Make no mistake, this is a lewd damn movie. If it wasn't, it would just be Monty Python and the Holy Grail*. Not only have we already seen this, but it wouldn't be funny now. Instead, Best and McBride did what they do best, created a hero who is a completely selfish, unredeemable asshole. They then throw the man best equipped to portray this character into the role, McBride himself. He is dragged kicking and screaming along on a journey to make himself better, and while he ultimately ascends to some higher level of honor through battle, he remains largely unchanged. This is what has made Eastbound and Down so great. This is also the part that worked about The Foot Fist Way.

*I know this is heretical, but I really don't see how MPatHG is as revered as it is. It simply doesn't strike me as being that funny and certainly doesn't deserve to be quoted as often as it is.

Your Highness also provides James Franco a platform to act comedically, something he doesn't get to do often enough. Hell, he basically went from when Freaks and Geeks went off the air until Pineapple Express without doing any comedies (unless you count Spider-Man 3), despite the fact that he clearly has an aptitude for comedic acting. Yes, he plays the straight man here, but his comic timing is spot on.

This leads us to the riskier proposition of adding Natalie Portman to the mix. Another actor much more well known for their dramatic turns, Portman's limited range when coupled with the extremely limited range of Zooey Deschanel put Your Highness at great risk of having two actresses ill-suited to hold their own in nearly anything because they have an inability to match the tone of what they are in because they can basically play themselves.

Shockingly, Portman did not bother me. Even more stunning to me was the fact that Portman was actually hot. It's not often that I say that.

As was the case with each of the Best/McBride screenplays brought to the screen, the film was a bit uneven, but this was definitely another step in the right direction. As was bound to be the case, David Gordon Green's hand at the wheel leaves us with a film that looks much better than most of its ilk would. This is much appreciated. Hopefully, this kicks off a slew of Green/Best/McBride films.

Man on Film: Source Code

Clearly, this is an attempt at catching up. At least this is still in the theaters...

Having quite liked Duncan Jones's 2009 directorial debut Moon, there was certainly cause for hope that Source Code would be better than its trailer may have let on. That isn't to say that the trailer was bad, per se, but well, here.

There's room there for a good movie, but more often than not a film with a trailer like this falls flat and ends up seeming to be derivative of substandard sci-fi fare. Thankfully Source Code is in the former grouping. While the film can hardly be qualified as a masterpiece, it keeps your undivided attention for its entire 93 minutes

While much of its success can be tied to its marriage of Groundhog Day to the dystopic world of Philip K. Dick, Source Code would not have worked without its leads, Jake Gyllenhaal and Michelle Monaghan.

Here Jones has thrown Gyllenhaal into a role in which he could succeed, capitalizing on his  general amiability and boyish charm. In his other ventures into big budget fare, the characters Gyllenhaal was called upon to portray were either outside his wheelhouse or one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs. In Colten Stevens, he has found a character that he can imbue with his special brand of affably manic desperation. For some reason, Gyllenhaal seems best suited for roles in which he's tilting at windmills, not quite insanely but holding fast to an irrational hope.

In the form of the female lead, Jones cast a woman who is somehow equal parts model and girl next door, Michelle Monaghan. Having held her own opposite such actors as Robert Downey Jr. and Casey Affleck, she plays well off of Gyllenhaal. Theirs is a chemistry that is instantly believable. The love story is earned and feels natural.

Without giving away too much, the film does manage to tug at the heartstrings from time to time--with Colten's phone call to his father striking a particularly affective chord--while exploring some interesting ethics of science questions not dissimilar from the issues at the heart of Moon. That Jones has now managed to make two science fiction films that are thought-provoking, entertaining, and rife with lighter comedic moments. Each of his films have featured likable protagonists trying to free themselves from the shackles of an ultimately Calvinist state of being, their fates appearing to have been predetermined. This makes for interesting films, two flicks into his career, although a different theme to explore would probably be advisable the third time out so as to not rehash those ideas.

Man on Film: The Hangover Part II

All right, I quite liked the first Hangover movie. If you need proof, look no further than this review. If you liked The Hangover, you'll love The Hangover Part II. If you don't remember anything about The Hangover. 

Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms acting in a film that is beneath them

If you do remember the first film in the franchise, however, nearly every joke, gag, or plot twist is repeated in Part II in a slightly more extreme fashion. This is a bad thing. This is the filmic equivalent of The Red Hot Chili Peppers' album Californication--it is essentially an instance of an uninspired artist ripping off their own greatest hits, changing everything just a enough to make sure it isn't just a cover but remaining similar in an extremely unsatisfying and obvious manner.

I would spend the time picking the film apart, but what is the point? They didn't bother writing a new movie. Almost every scene outside of the prologue and epilogue were interchangeable with scenes from the first film.

All I have to say is that if there's a third movie--and given its box office numbers in its first week, there will be--I hope someone decides that it might be a good idea to write a second movie that could stand on its own because they failed to do it here. And I would love it if someone did because I like a lot of the talent involved with the series.