While working behind the counter at Little City, this guy asked my co-worker and I if we played Risk.
My answer should have been:
Do I look like I've only had sex once, when I was 26 and a female co-virginal friend agreed that she also didn't want to die a virgin? Because I've totally had sex like five times.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Man On Film: Ketchup
I know, it's been a while. I've been busy.
That doesn't mean I've not been going to movies.
Rather, I've been unable to write about them.
What is to follow could be a bit lengthy. Sure, I could split these up, but this backlog has been piling up. Some of these may receive more time than others for varying reasons but not always related to my like/dislike of the film. Given the ground I'll be trying to cover here, these individual write-ups will surely be lacking, especially in relation to, say, what I did when I wrote about The Dark Knight in two tomes last year.
Here goes:
Brüno
Pretty damn funny. Unlike Borat, it didn't feel like 85% of the movie was recycled bits from "Da Ali G Show". The urethral "Brüno" shout in his pilot was truly shocking.
I am curious as to what Sacha Baron Cohen is going to do now that his three characters have been given the full-length feature treatment.
Funny People
I had a film professor who specialized in screenwriting. He had written F/X but did not end up being the credited screenwriter. In the sci-fi class I took from him, his analysis was limited to breaking down this film into its three-act structure while giving a cursory look at other narrative elements. His hard-on for the three-act structure ruled his life.
While that seemed a little ridiculous during the class, Judd Apatow's latest seems like it could have more closely adhered to the pacing inherent in that Aristotelian construct.
Now I should say that I didn't have any major issues with the film. Of Apatow's three directorial efforts, Funny People is probably his most complete film. It is certainly his most adult. That doesn't mean it is the most enjoyable. It probably has the least re-watch value of the three. Sandler gives his best performance since Punch-Drunk Love. Jonah Hill manages to avoid being irritating, an issue I had upon repeat viewings of Superbad. Rogen is fine as well. The problem when it comes to re-watching is that the two male lead characters are largely unlikeable.
Oh, and there's the fact that despite being entirely watchable, the pacing leaves a bit to be desired.
But, again, the film is good. The stand-up is really damn funny. The interplay between the roommates is great. Schwartzmann is his best in ages (although it all looks to be topped by "Bored to Death"). The horribleness of the show-within-the-movie is hilarious as well. Aside from the pacing issues, the film doesn't have a lot of weaknesses.
(500) Days of Summer
I actually thought I had written about this one and was surprised to find out that I hadn't.
I tend to like the film work of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Zooey Deschanel wasn't exactly stretching her wings and flying to new territory in terms of playing a new role. That being said, she does it fairly well. The music talk in the film was a little grating, but at the same time the characters in the film were supposed to be my peers, and that is sadly most of what we talk about. The one point I will make is that it seems like a leap to state that someone has good taste in music based on the one song you overhear them listening to. For all she knew in the elevator, he listened to Nickleback, Mariah Carey, and Liberace and that was the one song by The Smiths on his iPod (We are assuming that he wasn't listening to a CD, right? Does anyone (other than me)?).
I did like this movie, though. It was funny, sad, and not necessarily typical of the rom-com genre. Its soundtrack, while littered with tracks by indie darlings like Feist, Regina Spektor, Wolfmother, and Spoon, is entirely appropriate for the demographic that the film is about.
Thirst
The newest Chan-Wook Park movie was pretty solid. It didn't approach the meteoric heights that Oldboy reached, but it was good. It was, however, cursed by what seemed like a ending about 45 minutes before the actual ending.
Harry Potter and the (Whatever Thing is in the Title)
The sixth movie in the series had virtually nothing happen. It's not like it sucked (but holy shit did the first two in the series), but from what the special lady friend says the next movie cannot really have much of anything happen, so that means we're getting like six hours of nothing leading up to what might be a cool conclusion.
I cannot believe that this series has even gotten this good after those abysmal first two movies. We all have Alfonso Cuaron to thank for that. His direction steered this enterprise in the right direction.
The Hurt Locker
So I fell asleep for about 20 minutes at the beginning of this film. As the second-to-last trailer was concluding, I thought to myself, "Fuck. I am tired."
That being said, what I saw was great. Jeremy Renner, who was the star of the underwhelming Dahmer, was phenomenal. The tension was great throughout. I wanted to say more and intended to see it again before doing so. I have not had the chance. This will have to do.
As I'm sure Weibel is glad to hear, The Hurt Locker put me in the hurt locker.
That doesn't mean I've not been going to movies.
Rather, I've been unable to write about them.
What is to follow could be a bit lengthy. Sure, I could split these up, but this backlog has been piling up. Some of these may receive more time than others for varying reasons but not always related to my like/dislike of the film. Given the ground I'll be trying to cover here, these individual write-ups will surely be lacking, especially in relation to, say, what I did when I wrote about The Dark Knight in two tomes last year.
Here goes:
Brüno
Pretty damn funny. Unlike Borat, it didn't feel like 85% of the movie was recycled bits from "Da Ali G Show". The urethral "Brüno" shout in his pilot was truly shocking.
I am curious as to what Sacha Baron Cohen is going to do now that his three characters have been given the full-length feature treatment.
Funny People
I had a film professor who specialized in screenwriting. He had written F/X but did not end up being the credited screenwriter. In the sci-fi class I took from him, his analysis was limited to breaking down this film into its three-act structure while giving a cursory look at other narrative elements. His hard-on for the three-act structure ruled his life.
While that seemed a little ridiculous during the class, Judd Apatow's latest seems like it could have more closely adhered to the pacing inherent in that Aristotelian construct.
Now I should say that I didn't have any major issues with the film. Of Apatow's three directorial efforts, Funny People is probably his most complete film. It is certainly his most adult. That doesn't mean it is the most enjoyable. It probably has the least re-watch value of the three. Sandler gives his best performance since Punch-Drunk Love. Jonah Hill manages to avoid being irritating, an issue I had upon repeat viewings of Superbad. Rogen is fine as well. The problem when it comes to re-watching is that the two male lead characters are largely unlikeable.
Oh, and there's the fact that despite being entirely watchable, the pacing leaves a bit to be desired.
But, again, the film is good. The stand-up is really damn funny. The interplay between the roommates is great. Schwartzmann is his best in ages (although it all looks to be topped by "Bored to Death"). The horribleness of the show-within-the-movie is hilarious as well. Aside from the pacing issues, the film doesn't have a lot of weaknesses.
(500) Days of Summer
I actually thought I had written about this one and was surprised to find out that I hadn't.
I tend to like the film work of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Zooey Deschanel wasn't exactly stretching her wings and flying to new territory in terms of playing a new role. That being said, she does it fairly well. The music talk in the film was a little grating, but at the same time the characters in the film were supposed to be my peers, and that is sadly most of what we talk about. The one point I will make is that it seems like a leap to state that someone has good taste in music based on the one song you overhear them listening to. For all she knew in the elevator, he listened to Nickleback, Mariah Carey, and Liberace and that was the one song by The Smiths on his iPod (We are assuming that he wasn't listening to a CD, right? Does anyone (other than me)?).
I did like this movie, though. It was funny, sad, and not necessarily typical of the rom-com genre. Its soundtrack, while littered with tracks by indie darlings like Feist, Regina Spektor, Wolfmother, and Spoon, is entirely appropriate for the demographic that the film is about.
Thirst
The newest Chan-Wook Park movie was pretty solid. It didn't approach the meteoric heights that Oldboy reached, but it was good. It was, however, cursed by what seemed like a ending about 45 minutes before the actual ending.
Harry Potter and the (Whatever Thing is in the Title)
The sixth movie in the series had virtually nothing happen. It's not like it sucked (but holy shit did the first two in the series), but from what the special lady friend says the next movie cannot really have much of anything happen, so that means we're getting like six hours of nothing leading up to what might be a cool conclusion.
I cannot believe that this series has even gotten this good after those abysmal first two movies. We all have Alfonso Cuaron to thank for that. His direction steered this enterprise in the right direction.
The Hurt Locker
So I fell asleep for about 20 minutes at the beginning of this film. As the second-to-last trailer was concluding, I thought to myself, "Fuck. I am tired."
That being said, what I saw was great. Jeremy Renner, who was the star of the underwhelming Dahmer, was phenomenal. The tension was great throughout. I wanted to say more and intended to see it again before doing so. I have not had the chance. This will have to do.
As I'm sure Weibel is glad to hear, The Hurt Locker put me in the hurt locker.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Reading Rainbow: Basin and Range by John McPhee
Whenever I am handed a book that someone tells me I should read, it feels like a homework assignment.
I am not in school.
I shouldn't have homework.
Moreover, there is a sort of immediacy to the required reading that tends to add stress to the equation, seeing as though the picture is colored by the act of lending.
This book was one of those situations in which a book was handed to me. To add to the reticence with which I undertook this task, the book's subject matter was field geology.
What's got two thumbs and hates science?
This guy.
Keeping all of these hangups in mind, the book was pretty damned engaging. The prose is not at all dry and actually brings rocks to life. McPhee also manages to tie the history of geology into the book and somehow makes it not only interesting but page-turning.
I would have to say the book was entirely surprising to me, and the tale of the geological evolution of the Earth is told exceptionally well here.
I am not in school.
I shouldn't have homework.
Moreover, there is a sort of immediacy to the required reading that tends to add stress to the equation, seeing as though the picture is colored by the act of lending.
This book was one of those situations in which a book was handed to me. To add to the reticence with which I undertook this task, the book's subject matter was field geology.
What's got two thumbs and hates science?
This guy.
Keeping all of these hangups in mind, the book was pretty damned engaging. The prose is not at all dry and actually brings rocks to life. McPhee also manages to tie the history of geology into the book and somehow makes it not only interesting but page-turning.
I would have to say the book was entirely surprising to me, and the tale of the geological evolution of the Earth is told exceptionally well here.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Tube Steak: Down Time Breeding Curiosity About the Future
Now that Burn Notice* is on six-month hiatus**--having given way to Psych on the USA docket (I know they're different time slots, but USA clearly only likes to have a few of its own series airing at a time) and leaving only Rescue Me on extended basic cable as must-see semi-serialized drama--I find myself rewatching the House season finale.
*It is a well-established view of this blog that Burn Notice is great fun while not being altogether light fare. This past season/half-season/whatever-it-was played well, and the ending points towards some much bigger things coming at Michael Westen. There were a few episodes toward the end of this run that lulled us into a false sense of security/hope after Michael opted out of The Management's offer, but The Management's warning about the consequences of his refusal would seem to carry some weight now. I'm already impatiently waiting for this winter to roll around.
**I can't imagine I haven't mentioned this before, but I really love that USA has started doing the two half-seasons a year thing. I don't watch a lot of USA programming, but it makes the time between new Psychs and Burn Notices less painful.
While marvelling at the adept muddling of House's perception of reality latent in the final episodes of this past season, I cannot help but wonder what is in store for the viewing masses for the next season of House.
My main concern is what is going to happen to House now that he has been hospitalized, as the point was made a few episodes prior that such an action would result in his loss of medical licensure? How can he return to the hospital? Will he have to answer to Foreman now?
Apparently Andre Braugher is involved in some capacity. No complaints on that front.
Needless to say, I really want September 21st to roll around.
Speaking of September, the fourth season of Dexter is set to being airing then. Dexter has gone from being merely watchable in its initial season to being intensely compelling. The second season* was superior to the first by leaps and bounds, and the third built upon the goodwill earned in season two. My confidence in the producers is so strong at this point that I have no concerns about the show's direction as its protagonist finds himself entering into fatherhood--the kiss of death for many a show (Growing Pains anyone?). With Dexter, I get the feeling that it will only feed into the tension as life gets in the way of Dexter feeding his homicidal urges.
*(I totally forgot to do this earlier) It is weird, but it seems like every girl I talk to who has watched Dexter fucking hates Lila so much that they think season two was worse than season one.
I really like the fact that I get to watch a show that allows me to type that sentence.
And let us not forget that Curb Your Enthusiasm is set to come back in only a few weeks. The TV landscape is about to get a lot richer.
*It is a well-established view of this blog that Burn Notice is great fun while not being altogether light fare. This past season/half-season/whatever-it-was played well, and the ending points towards some much bigger things coming at Michael Westen. There were a few episodes toward the end of this run that lulled us into a false sense of security/hope after Michael opted out of The Management's offer, but The Management's warning about the consequences of his refusal would seem to carry some weight now. I'm already impatiently waiting for this winter to roll around.
**I can't imagine I haven't mentioned this before, but I really love that USA has started doing the two half-seasons a year thing. I don't watch a lot of USA programming, but it makes the time between new Psychs and Burn Notices less painful.
While marvelling at the adept muddling of House's perception of reality latent in the final episodes of this past season, I cannot help but wonder what is in store for the viewing masses for the next season of House.
My main concern is what is going to happen to House now that he has been hospitalized, as the point was made a few episodes prior that such an action would result in his loss of medical licensure? How can he return to the hospital? Will he have to answer to Foreman now?
Apparently Andre Braugher is involved in some capacity. No complaints on that front.
Needless to say, I really want September 21st to roll around.
Speaking of September, the fourth season of Dexter is set to being airing then. Dexter has gone from being merely watchable in its initial season to being intensely compelling. The second season* was superior to the first by leaps and bounds, and the third built upon the goodwill earned in season two. My confidence in the producers is so strong at this point that I have no concerns about the show's direction as its protagonist finds himself entering into fatherhood--the kiss of death for many a show (Growing Pains anyone?). With Dexter, I get the feeling that it will only feed into the tension as life gets in the way of Dexter feeding his homicidal urges.
*(I totally forgot to do this earlier) It is weird, but it seems like every girl I talk to who has watched Dexter fucking hates Lila so much that they think season two was worse than season one.
I really like the fact that I get to watch a show that allows me to type that sentence.
And let us not forget that Curb Your Enthusiasm is set to come back in only a few weeks. The TV landscape is about to get a lot richer.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Reading Rainbow: Sacred by Dennis Lehane
Clearly, I've not had a lot of spare time to devote to this creation of mine. This means that almost all of the hits I receive on Inconsiderate Prick are related to Kim Richards--more precisely that hot goddamn picture I found of her on the 'nets circa Meatballs II--something that I hardly consider problematic. If anything it makes me feel like there is this whole society of men between the ages of 25 and 40 who harbor a childhood crush on a young Kim Richards, kinship to Paris Hilton be damned. The weirder thing is that since I found out about the relation, every time I see that socialite I now see the physiological resemblance between the two.
Whatever.
So after that weird baseball book, I read the third book in the Kenzie/Gennaro series, Sacred. As has been the case with the first two books in the series, it was an insanely fast read and compelling throughout. His wry sense of humor comes through in Patrick Kenzie, and his ability to balance that with the morality and brutality of man attains a level of quality not often reached in any medium.
The book was great to put it succinctly. If you want a page-turner that resides in the desirable realm in which the psychologically complex and intense is cut with the ease of a leisurely read, this Lehane series would seem to be your ticket.
Whatever.
So after that weird baseball book, I read the third book in the Kenzie/Gennaro series, Sacred. As has been the case with the first two books in the series, it was an insanely fast read and compelling throughout. His wry sense of humor comes through in Patrick Kenzie, and his ability to balance that with the morality and brutality of man attains a level of quality not often reached in any medium.
The book was great to put it succinctly. If you want a page-turner that resides in the desirable realm in which the psychologically complex and intense is cut with the ease of a leisurely read, this Lehane series would seem to be your ticket.
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