Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey: Series Two, Episode Seven

We're back. Once again, your sherpas for Wordy Old Men on Downton Abbey are Wordy Ginters and Josh "Old Man" Duggan. Tell your friends, family, and even foes--nevermind, send your foes to people (dot) com--that they need to get their fool asses up in this joint. Once again, you can buy the second series on Blu-ray and on DVD. They're the original versions as aired in the U.K. (Series One available here on DVD and Blu-ray.) Why the British versions? Because they're unabridged, unlike what aired in the U.S. Do it (but follow those links if you do).

For those who need a reminder as to what happened in this episode, the calendar year has just turned to 1919, and the last of the army hospital's shit has been loaded into the back of a lorry. Lord Grantham wanders around the manor searching for meaning in his life. Sir Richard Carlisle attempts to enlist Anna as a spy to keep him apprised of Lady Mary's movements, an offer which she refuses. Having been asked by Carlisle not to say anything to Mary, Anna does tell Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson, who decides that he cannot follow Lady Mary to Hacksby. Matthew stands on his own two feet; all of Downton is shocked and ecstatic. Thomas spends his life's savings on foodstuffs from a rascal he met in a pub in the hopes of exploiting the post-war shortages of food via the black market. Lord Grantham impulsively kisses the new maid and war widow, Jane. Matthew announces that he and Lavinia are to marry in the coming spring. Violet, the Dowager Countess, visits Matthew in his bedroom and tells him that Lady Mary is still in love with him. Bates shares the information with Anna that he was actually tasked to buy the arsenic that his wife died from ingesting and later shares a letter that Vera sent to a friend a day before he came to visit for the last time in which she stated that she was worried for her well-being in relation to his visit. The choady Major Bryant's parents come to visit Downton. Ethel barges in with their bastard grandson, but Mr. Bryant is a dick, showing exactly from whence his son's shitheadedness originated. With the working man finally wearing down the Lady's defenses, Sybil and Branson slink off into the night with the intention of eloping. Mary finds that Sybil is gone, and Mary, Edith, and Anna hunt them down in the night, bringing Sybil back as to avoid the pain it would do to their parents.

Wordy Ginters: Gasp! Double Gasp! I'm insinuating that this episode was gaspy. Plot twists and soapy goodness in the best sense. Who doesn't love a good old fashioned television serial? Christ, after a fairly tame couple of episodes, a lot to unpack in this one.

Old Man Duggan: Things wuz happenin'.

WG: I should have known trouble was afoot when Isis got some early screen time. That dog portends chaos. The second sign was Thomas still sitting downstairs with the staff. What is that munch still doing moping about, I thought aloud to myself. And then his Lordship, dressed in his walkabout gear, literally upsets the apple cart with his little titillating run in with Jane. Is that the right name? It feels like it should start with an "E." I thought she was going to take a bite out of him before their moment was rudely interrupted by Mr. Shitheel's hoopty. My lawd, goodness, how little did I know. By the way, I only know this because a friend mentioned it, but Jane is a ringer for internet porn sensation Camille Crimson.

The taint of Game of Thrones nearing Lady Mary

OMD: It is Jane. Jane Moorsum. See does look like an Eliza or maybe an Eleanor. After thorough research, there is a striking similarity between actress Clare Calbraith and saucy beej queen Camille Crimson. To delve further into that conversation would be uncouth, unfortunately. Leave it to that bastard Sir Richard Carlisle to ruin everything, by the way. It's probably the taint of Game of Thrones working its way to Downton.

WG: Grantham shows he's human by having his little mid-life crisis. He recognizes the bill that others have paid. I kind of like seeing him get all existential, needing a shave, snapping at Cora, and pining for the days when his life had meaning. I loves me some anachronisms, was hoping that Grantham would pull Nauseau off the shelf of that gorgeous library. He's been building up to this for awhile, chafing at the idea that he's an aristocratic clown, ever since his military gig was revealed to be nothing more than window dressing back in episode one.

OMD: Robert is definitely in the full throes of an existential crisis. The fact that his daughters are preparing to leave the nest--further taking a bite out of his place and usefulness in the world--obviously plays into this as well. Lord Grantham is a man whose fortune isn't his, whose progeny are leaving home, whose heir is merely a cousin because he was unable to sire a male heir, whose wife is pulling strings behind his back as relates to his eldest daughter and his adopted son, whose past as a soldier was marginalized in wartime, and whose existence (at least in his eyes) has been relegated to caretaker for an estate that up until the 22-minute-mark of this episode is to be handed off to a cripple. Fellowes basically spent the entire second series emasculating him in swift little blows. I think he desperately wants for his life to have meaning.

WG: Did you feel any pull or sense of betrayal for Cora?

OMD: The second time around, no. It's strange; the first time I watched Robert's transgression really bothered me. Not now. Maybe it's that I see what Cora is doing in attempting to thrust Lavinia into Matthew's arms at the behest of Carlisle, an odious chap to be sure, but her taking up with a conniving bedfellow has left me disenchanted. Perhaps this was Fellowes's intent. She has definitely grown less sympathetic after losing her child.

WG: Carlisle. What a dick. He totally plays Anna for a chump. Weaving a tapestry of bullshit assuming she was dumb enough to fall for his spying scheme. Come on Carlisle, Bates doesn't run with that kind of crowd. More loathsome than Thomas. By far. And I love it.

OMD: He's a real bell-end. As I think we said in one of the last two entries in the series, there's nothing worse that an insecure prick with massive amounts of power. As big a shitbag as Thomas is, he doesn't have any power. Carlisle is as big a shithead as Thomas but is loaded to boot. There's a desire to escape his station that makes Thomas at least in part sympathetic. The only point of sympathy with Carlisle is that he wasn't born rich. That isn't something that really endears a character to the masses. That Jay Gatsby was as sympathetic as he was is a testament to F. Scott Fitzgerald's masterful way with words.

WG: Have you seen the boys haircuts the girls are wearing in Paris? Isn't that a Blur song?

OMD: I guess we know what song's getting embedded at the end of this post.

WG: Jesus, I see where Cap'n Bryant got his asshole from. Daddy. He's afraid of his grief. Yeah, right. I think he's probably just an insufferable prick.

OMD: Insecure pricks. Insufferable pricks. Pricks all around. Major Bryant's father is a total shithead. That walrus-looking motherfucker represents the worst of the aristocratic class. Telling the staff that his chauffeur would stay in the car and needed nothing to eat established that early on. Needing acknowledgement of paternity? What a shit. You raised a fucking shithead, Mr. Bryant. That said, fuck Ethel, too. If there's a story arc I wish had never happened, it's Ethel's.

WG: What did you make of the forbidden kiss between Grantham and Jane? I buy it. She's obviously scheming. He's not right in his head. What was stopping these Lords and Ladies from whoring around anyway? Nothing.

OMD: I actually think she's not scheming. I think there's a sincerity to their attraction. He certainly isn't right in the head.

WG: Another show stopper was Matthew standing up out of his chair. Reminded me of a scene from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Once again, lets recognize the masterful production of story lines and plot twists that could be laughable in less delicate hands. I don't know how Fellowes escapes the ridiculous, but he does.

OMD: Both times I've sort of chuckled at the development. Obviously it's foreshadowed, so it isn't unexpected. My main issue with the scene is that there are no signs of atrophy. He seems to stand too easily to come to Lavinia's aid. His legs haven't worked for how long? Yet he stands with ease? I'm glad for the man. I feel like I know him like a brother. I just wish I could not laugh when he gets his feet back under him.

WG: Great scene between Carson and Hughes, where Carson gives up some backstory for his kind concern for Mary. Excellent dialogue. Great lighting. Made me nostalgic for something I don't even understand.

OMD: That was easily my favorite scene of the episode. Hughes telling him that Mary got the better of the deal for six pence. The clear paternal affection evident through a cute anecdote. Mary wanting to take some silver into the village to fund her running away.

OMD: Before we shove off for the week, We've left two big developments and one small bit of comeuppance unspoken of:

First: The Dowager Countess goes against what is prim and proper, bursts (insofar as the Dowager can burst) into Matthew's room, and lays it all out there. "Mary is still in love with you." Matthew extols Lavinia's virtues, of which she really does have many, and then the Dowager drops the fucking hammer: "Marriage is a long business. There's no getting out of it for our kind of people. Now, you may live 40, 50 years with one of these two women. Just make sure you have selected the right one."

WG: Another highlight from this episode. The Dowager can be a cold and conniving bitty, but typically it's rooted in some type of pragmatism. Everybody loves Mary. She's been a sympathetic character for much of this season. Interesting that she appears to be souring like curdled cream just when most of Downton has her back.

OMD: Second: BRANSON!!! Yeah, bud. The elopement is postponed/off, but that sonuvabitch did it. He landed her. Way to go, you crazy Irish bastard.

WG: Fists were pumped in my household. I ain't ashamed. Comical to see Edith and Mary chase them down with more efficiency than Javier Bardem from No Country for Old Men (Bardem and Edith share the same hair style). And Sybil caved a little too easily for my liking. But I'm holding out hope.

OMD: Comeuppance: Thomas, you got had. Obviously, Fellowes has taken measures to humanize Thomas a bit. The mantle of Heel of Downton has been passed on to Sir Richard Carlisle, but it still feels good to see Thomas penniless after trying to make his way into the black market via a guy he met at the pub. What a rube.

WG: Yes. Delicious comeuppance. Thomas gets rolled and revealed as a soft touch. For me, his financial ruin was worth every pence just to see the plaster cake spit takes from Patmore and Daisy.

Man on Film: There Will Be Blood

*****WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUNDING*****

In his latest opus, writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson (not to be confused with adult film director Paul Thomas or auteur du garbage Paul W. S. Anderson) has crafted his most spectacular work on what is already a formidable resume. There Will Be Blood finds Anderson exploring the all-consuming nature of greed as it pertains to the relationship between America's capitalism and religion, using the burgeoning oil industry in the American Southwest of the late 1800's and early 1900's as the setting and Daniel Day-Lewis--whose performance has been lauded with so many superlatives already that to try to assign another would be a futile act--to become his corruptible lead, Daniel Plainview.

At the film's opening, the audience is introduced to Plainview in his unformed state. Without speech, he toils away in a mine as a silver prospector. Here, he is early man, working with rudimentary tools in a cave. The basic hunter-gatherer, providing for himself and only himself without a support structure outside of himself. As he inadvertently discovers oil while silver prospecting, he gradually evolves from primitive man to man just starting out in a small society, with a small infrastructure of laborers working with him towards a modest goal. As he gains a son, Daniel Plainview becomes not merely a man in a society but the head of a family. It is at this point that he has become pre-industrial man. Starting from the base at which all man started, he has only one step to go to become modern man. The fact that this evolution occurs without any sound past some intermittent grunting and Jonny Greenwood's gripping, against-genre score and remains entirely enthralling is a bold testament to the power of the image over dialogue as a storytelling tool.

When the dialogue kicks in, a few years have passed, and we are introduced to Daniel Plainview, the post-Industrial Revolution man. The modern man. It is in Daniel's own voice that we come to know this incarnation. He explains who he is and his place in this society. Addressing his audience, he begins, "Ladies and Gentlemen, if I say I am an oil man, you will agree." With his son, H.W., at his side, his family business has grown. He is successful, and his love for his son is very real. His want for more wealth does not yet outweigh his love for family; his conquest has not yet devoured his humanity.

As the modern capitalist, Daniel ventures into Little Boston--a settlement in the American west much as one might have imagined the settlement at Plymouth as the American colonies were taking their first shape--and sees to cultivating its previously untapped resource. Just as he begins to lay down claim to the sea of oil beneath them, religion introduces itself to the mix in the form of Eli Sunday, a faith healer in its rawest form. As the oil infrastructure grows, so, to, does the Church of the Third Revelation. And as Eli's power grows, Daniel's adversarial view of Eli grows, too.

Daniel given the chance to make a small concession to Eli, and obviously to religion as a whole. With the "competition" in him getting the better of him, Daniel publicly rebukes Eli, favoring his younger sister, who has befriended H.W. H.W. is then stripped of his hearing in an on-site accident immediately thereafter. Losing a part of his family, albeit symbolically, Daniel lashes out at Eli the next time they meet, and Daniel's hatred inflames Eli.

Daniel's half-brother, Henry Brands, comes into the picture which enables Daniel to continue on with the family business, but as he sends his son away, he begins to lose some of what was keeping him human. Continuing on the road to success, his greed begins to take a stranglehold on him. No longer the provider in the immediate sense for his son, Daniel becomes more and more hellbent on success. As his brother turns out to be less than what he purported himself to be, Daniel sees that the family he had tried to construct in H.W.'s absence cannot be salvaged and he destroys it, and with that destruction he decimates most of what was left of his humanity.

When faced with an opportunity to acquire the last tract of land needed to build a pipeline, Daniel agrees to be cleansed of his sins in the church, but after yelling to all that would hear that he had abandoned his son, he whispers to a power-tripping Eli what one can only assume is the film's title. He has decidedly rebuked religion for the last time, and his humanity seems to be surely be leaving him next.

Even the return of his son--in a beautifully choreographed tracking shot--cannot save him (since Daniel can no longer communicate with the entity that previously kept him connected to mankind), as is made disturbingly clear in a scene which is bizarrely marked with Daniel Plainview calling out a competitor with a napkin draped over his face. Having earlier called into question Daniel's parenting skills only to be threatened with death, he sees the Standard Oil representative again at dinner. Through his behavior it is evident that anything which had been tethering him to his humanity has been cut away, leaving him adrift in his fully co-opted world.

Years later, we are brought us to Plainview's home. This Daniel has crawled inside the bottle and completely lost touch with humanity. He shoots things for perverse recreation in his mansion, which shows signs of having once been nice only to be later savaged by his lunatic binges. When a newly married H.W. comes to see his father, he sets him free once and for all in a brutal manner, and whether he is doing so for his son or out of spite, he does save his son from what one would imagine would be a similar fate. Unfortunately for Daniel, he is also parting with the last shred of his own humanity, and as we leave Daniel Plainview he has become a heartless beast not hesitating to vanquish any and all comers.

Through all the film, Daniel Day-Lewis turns in his greatest performance in what has been arguably the best career over the past 25 years. The rage that seethes beneath his black eyes is so palpable you cannot help but be taken in by Daniel Plainview. As insane as he gets, the audience still finds themselves rooting for Daniel Plainview, which is a credit to Daniel Day-Lewis' flawless turn. Paul Dano holds his own here as well, which is no small feat, and quite simply amazes. Were it not for these two actors, there is no doubt in my mind that the film would still have been immensely watchable, as Robert Elswit's cinematography was otherworldly, and absolutely deserving of the Academy Award it won.

Honestly, had There Will Be Blood won Best Picture over No Country for Old Men, I--for one--would not have objected. In fact, the scope of There Will Be Blood possibly makes it more impressive. This film was that amazing.

Best Films of 2007

Warning: This will not be a ranked list. Before the backlash from all zero readers of this blog begins, let me preface this list by saying, I've not seen every film released in the past year. I've not gotten to see There Will Be Blood yet. I've not gotten around to seeing Once, Control, or Breach, all of which have been recommended by reliable sources. I've not seen Charlie Wilson's War either. What follows is obviously incomplete.

Standout films
The Assassination of Jesse James
3:10 to Yuma
No Country for Old Men
The Lookout
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Rescue Dawn
Knocked Up
Superbad
Gone Baby Gone
Hot Fuzz
The Bourne Ultimatum
Sunshine
Shooter

Films I Failed to Understand People Actually Walking Out of the Theater Liking
Atonement
Michael Clayton
Juno
American Gangster
300
Grindhouse
I'm Not There

Good, Not Great
Eastern Promises
Zodiac
The Darjeeling Limited
Lars and the Real Girl
Black Book
28 Weeks Later

I Don't Care What You Say, These Were Fun
Next
National Treasure Book of Secrets
Live Free or Die Hard
Smokin' Aces
Shoot 'Em Up

Fucking Awful, as in So Bad I Couldn't Stomach Finishing It
Transformers

If I had to pick one as being the best, I'd probably give that honor to:

No Country for Old Men