No one has time these days for anything. Craig and I understand. Haven't been caught up on the best movies over the last few years? No need to worry, here are some six-word movie reviews to help you decide which ones you really need to see.
The Departed: everyone fucking dies in the end
Brokeback Mountain: butt fucking on a mountain side
Skyfall: eventually Bond drives an Aston Martin
Lincoln: you fucking already know the plot
The Big Lebowski: rug really did tie room together
Titanic: secretly, one great dark comedy flick
Debbie Does Dallas: disappointing, she only screws a few
There Will Be Blood: eventually, there will be some blood
Shawshank Redemption: Ole Andy’s keester gets it good
Forrest Gump: stupid mother fucker defies Darwinian science
Silence of the Lambs: better put lotion in the basket
Memento: he can’t remember a fucking thing
Citizen Kane: Rosebud is just a fucking sled
Reservoir Dogs: Steelers Wheel stuck in head forever
The Neverending Story: this movie is not actually neverending
Heat: baddest ass gun battle scene ever
Django Unchained: lots and lots of N bombs
Gran Torino: get off his mother fucking lawn
Fargo: epic use of a wood chipper
The Deer Hunter: you can’t win Russian roulette forever
Sin City: just read a comic book, dorks
Toy Story 3: I dare you not to cry
Sixth Sense: he is fucking dead you idiots
Trainspotting: heroin makes you shit the bed
The Wizard of Oz: flying monkeys are scary as shit
Apollo 13: duct tape to the fucking rescue
SLC Punk: dude’s got a four foot mohawk
Kill Bill Vol. 1: Bill doesn’t die in this one
Kill Bill Vol. 2: Bill eventually dies at the end
Good Will Hunting: stupid mother fucker missed Game 6
Into the Wild: stupid hippie tries to outsmart Alaska
Hangover 2: Did you see the first Hangover?
The Zookeeper: don’t even waste your fucking time
Here Comes the Boom: more like here comes the snooze
Beauty & the Beast: Understanding Psychology Vol. 1: Stockholm Syndrome
Rain Man: wish my brother could count cards
Showgirls: not even worth the gratuitous nudity
About Schmidt: Kathy Bates is one sexy mama
Life of Pi: tiger in a fucking boat yo!
Inception: dream within dream within another dream
127 Hours: Discovering Health Science Vol. 3: Amputation
Lost in Translation: Bill Murray can’t not be funny
A Life Aquatic: there are lots of red caps
He’s Just Not Into You: he’s just not fucking into you
JFK: what really took place…on acid
A Few Good Men: you need him on that wall
The Hobbit: could have been an hour long
The Cider House Rules: quaint little flick about baby killers
Scream: there is more than one killer
Donnie Darko: the movie doesn’t answer any questions
Flight of the Navigator: The. Best. God. Damned. Movie. Ever.
Showing posts with label Django Unchained. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Django Unchained. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Friday, December 28, 2012
Man on Film: Django Unchained
Quentin Tarantino is at his best when working in a man's world. His missteps (regardless of severity) occur when having his inherently masculine dialogue heavily funneled through female voices. It is through no fault of the females cast that these films are flawed; Tarantino simply doesn't write well in the female voice.
In Django Unchained, Tarantino is back walking through a man's world with men spouting his dialogue.
And it is superb.
The premise--freed-slave bounty hunter turns the Deep South at the end of antebellum upside-down with his German partner to free his wife--sets the stage for a deliciously bloody spectacle that Tarantino excels in--it was his panache in both the areas of hyper-stylized banter and over-the-top violence that arguably redirected the course of American cinema in the 1990s.
Using the superb Christoph Waltz, who is extremely likely to be getting at least another Best Supporting Actor nomination, and fellow Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx, Tarantino has a pair whose cause is extremely easy to rally behind. Hell, Waltz was charismatic and likable as the bad guy in Inglourious Basterds. Here, their tête-à-tête is so effective and engaging that the 165 minute run-time flies by, never once letting the film feel long. Waltz is fucking fantastic, and Foxx fills the shoes of badass bounty hunter with a quiet but sure swagger.
In support, or more appropriately opposition, the adversarial cast of Leonardo DiCaprio, Don Johnson, Samuel L. Jackson, and Walton Goggins play up their roles with aplomb. With the rest of the slew of racists being cast and directed for the purpose of hilarity, Django Unchained is cast impeccably well.
Just as importantly, Django Unchained is blessed with a near-perfect script, and Tarantino's eye for the traditions of the genre (loosely, the Spaghetti Western) in relation to the mise-en-scene make for a fantastic film--probably his best since Pulp Fiction. It is a whole lot of fun, gleeful in its destruction and righteous in the vengeance exacted and bounties hunted. It also manages to deal with the subject of slavery in a manner that highlights the atrocities of the slave trade while not taking a Spielbergian heavy-handed preacher's tack. The slave traders and owners are mostly slaughtered, and rightfully so, but it still plays like an extremely violent Spaghetti Western, proving to be a disarmingly effective approach to addressing the issue.
All in all, it is hard to muster up anything negative to say about the film. Even with its length, Django Unchained is one of the most fun films of the year, consistently rewarding from beginning to end.
In Django Unchained, Tarantino is back walking through a man's world with men spouting his dialogue.
The premise--freed-slave bounty hunter turns the Deep South at the end of antebellum upside-down with his German partner to free his wife--sets the stage for a deliciously bloody spectacle that Tarantino excels in--it was his panache in both the areas of hyper-stylized banter and over-the-top violence that arguably redirected the course of American cinema in the 1990s.
Using the superb Christoph Waltz, who is extremely likely to be getting at least another Best Supporting Actor nomination, and fellow Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx, Tarantino has a pair whose cause is extremely easy to rally behind. Hell, Waltz was charismatic and likable as the bad guy in Inglourious Basterds. Here, their tête-à-tête is so effective and engaging that the 165 minute run-time flies by, never once letting the film feel long. Waltz is fucking fantastic, and Foxx fills the shoes of badass bounty hunter with a quiet but sure swagger.
In support, or more appropriately opposition, the adversarial cast of Leonardo DiCaprio, Don Johnson, Samuel L. Jackson, and Walton Goggins play up their roles with aplomb. With the rest of the slew of racists being cast and directed for the purpose of hilarity, Django Unchained is cast impeccably well.
Just as importantly, Django Unchained is blessed with a near-perfect script, and Tarantino's eye for the traditions of the genre (loosely, the Spaghetti Western) in relation to the mise-en-scene make for a fantastic film--probably his best since Pulp Fiction. It is a whole lot of fun, gleeful in its destruction and righteous in the vengeance exacted and bounties hunted. It also manages to deal with the subject of slavery in a manner that highlights the atrocities of the slave trade while not taking a Spielbergian heavy-handed preacher's tack. The slave traders and owners are mostly slaughtered, and rightfully so, but it still plays like an extremely violent Spaghetti Western, proving to be a disarmingly effective approach to addressing the issue.
All in all, it is hard to muster up anything negative to say about the film. Even with its length, Django Unchained is one of the most fun films of the year, consistently rewarding from beginning to end.
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