Man on Film: Bullet to the Head

I know what you're thinking: Didn't this come out like two months ago? It might have been longer ago than that. You might wonder what (other than depression) could have kept me from writing about a Sylvester Stallone/Sung Kang star vehicle directed by Walter Hill and co-starring Christian Slater, Jason Momoa, and a partially nude Sarah Shahi.

Sadly, Bullet to the Head was not another standout film in this late-era Sly Renaissance, and it was not the film that got Walter Hill back on track. The script was hokey. The quips were flaccid. The generational joshing between Kang and Sly was as ineffective as it was in A Good Day to Die Hard. The fact that Bulleit never seemed to be available at any bar in New Orleans was absurd, but the fact that this was called back upon later in the film was ridiculous.

It was hard not to hope for Bullet to the Head to hearken back to the 48 Hrs. flicks, but it didn't measure up to those hopes, and frankly it was forgettable. Well, except for the Sarah Shahi nudity.

Prick Tunes: Pat Benatar "Invincible"

Sure, the kids all love "We Belong," "Love Is a Battlefield," and "Hit Me with Your Best Shot," but for my money this is the best of Benatar. For those of you not familiar with the track, "Invincible" was the theme from the classic youth-in-revolt flick The Legend of Billie Jean, starring Helen Slater as the titular heroine with a young Christian Slater (no relation) playing her brother and Keith Gordon as the rich kid with lots of gadgets and a penchant for wearing blazers. If you have any doubt in your mind as to how this film could be awesome, then you clearly haven't seen Helen Slater chop off her locks and been affected like the rest of us. You can leave now.

Anyway, this song is fucking epic. Just as epic as the film. It's not just a theme. It's a goddamn anthem.

Man on Film: Inception

Inception is totally the best movie since Bed of Roses.